Guest bernardblack Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Anyone done this or care to offer any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppino Impastato Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 No Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I did it last year for my brother. Advice? I've no idea I basically just made sure I had a drink before hand to calm my nerves and put a lot of effort into my opening joke. It went down well and I relaxed and did well. Try and avoid inside jokes and nobody wants to hear about the stag do too much. The biggest laugh I had - "*groom* has certainly changed as a man since meeting *bride*. Who knew he would become such a keen horticulturalist? Apparently he loves his gardening but I didn't believe it until I heard *bride* on phone chatting to somebody and she described *groom* as being a grower not a shower!" I'm actually getting married next week and working on my grooms speech just now. This one is nowhere near as fun to write as the best man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Done two, absolutely horrendous experience, get a few drinks into you beforehand. Best one I ever heard was a wedding i was at in Australia, brides father told the best man to sit down half way through, could have heard a pin drop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renton Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 5 minutes ago, heedthebaa said: Done two, absolutely horrendous experience, get a few drinks into you beforehand. Best one I ever heard was a wedding i was at in Australia, brides father told the best man to sit down half way through, could have heard a pin drop Best/worst joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renton Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 ... But yeah, don't get too pished, don't fixate on inside jokes (I was at one where the father of the bride gave a 45 minute potted history of his family tree...) or the Stag do and remember that people are actively willing you to succeed and will also have had a few, ergo what looks like a lame joke on paper will probably get a laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Done it for both of my brothers, once in Scotland to all of my family and once in New Zealand to some of my family and about 100 people I didn't know. I found the one in with the people I didn't know easier. Advice I would give is speak slowly and clearly, rushing through a good joke and being met with no laughter as they didn't understand you could kill you early on (me and my brothers did joint speeches and one of my brothers died in such a way, luckily I was on hand to save the day). Keep your stories/jokes short and sharp and don't talk for ages. I actually didn't bother writing too much down either, just some headers about the stories to tell and the names of all the bridesmaids (as I learned you're supposed to thank those fuckers). I wouldn't worry about it too much though, nobody really cares all that much, give them a quick laugh and sit down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Just now, renton said: Best/worst joke? You just knew it was coming, everyone was cringing, except the Scottish guests funnily enough, we thought he was hilarious. Final straw was when he went under the table to reveal a monks outfit and put it on. Don’t know where he was going with it, but the priest who conducted the wedding didn’t look happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Ive carried this out in Estonia and had it translated to a load of Russian guests. Still not sure if they were laughing with me or at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, The Moonster said: Done it for both of my brothers, once in Scotland to all of my family and once in New Zealand to some of my family and about 100 people I didn't know. I found the one in with the people I didn't know easier. Advice I would give is speak slowly and clearly, rushing through a good joke and being met with no laughter as they didn't understand you could kill you early on (me and my brothers did joint speeches and one of my brothers died in such a way, luckily I was on hand to save the day). That must've took the edge off the rest of the day. 1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Ive carried this out in Estonia and had it translated to a load of Russian guests. Still not sure if they were laughing with me or at me. I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I just gave a brief history of how we met, mocked him, praised him, said how beautiful the bride and the bridesmaids looked and toasted them. I got a few laughs early on so that settled me right down. You know the couple so I think you'll be best person to judge what they and their families will be comfortable with. I went pretty down the line with my speech because I wouldn't have gotten away with anything too near the bone, wouldn't have been able to discuss ex girlfriends etc without ruining the whole day. The guests will all be willing you on so I didn't find the whole experience particularly pressurised and actually started to enjoy it towards the end, despite really not looking forward to it. Is the speech before or after the meal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanMc99 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 not the same but any advice for a grooms speech, i've got mine half written but i'm wary of blabbing on too much or saying too little? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShaggysBeard Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I've done it once, horrific experience. A lot of stuff I did died badly. Best thing you can do is accept that will happen with a lot of it and not let it bother you when it does. I got one huge laugh and the rest an awkward silence. The huge laugh was instructing all the couples in the room to "turn and face your partner...(pause)..stare deeply into each other's eyes..(pause)..." the whole room went silent and then informing them that statistically they are looking at the person most likely murder them and headed straight into wishing the married couple well. Other than that I was hopeless. Just remember everyone in the room is in your corner and wants you to do well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 24 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Ive carried this out in Estonia and had it translated to a load of Russian guests. Still not sure if they were laughing with me or at me. I think we all know the answer to that one comrade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuckleMoo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 This guy pretty much nails it Not the best speaker and you can tell he's nervous as hell but has the guests eating out the palm of his hand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernardblack Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Cheers for the advice so far. Ideally they're before the meal so I can enjoy it and get stuck into the wine!Practice run is coming in around the 7min mark. Too long? Too short? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 7 minutes is plenty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 18 minutes ago, DanMc99 said: not the same but any advice for a grooms speech, i've got mine half written but i'm wary of blabbing on too much or saying too little? Grooms speech is easy, say how much you love your wife and sit the f**k down IMO. People are only really interested in what your best man is going to say. 2 minutes ago, bernardblack said: Cheers for the advice so far. Ideally they're before the meal so I can enjoy it and get stuck into the wine! Practice run is coming in around the 7min mark. Too long? Too short? That's plenty, you'll get pauses when people are laughing too so in all likelihood you'll be up a bit longer than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 22 minutes ago, bernardblack said: Cheers for the advice so far. Ideally they're before the meal Good call, no much fun bowking and shaking like a shitting dog whilst trying to eat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Only been best man once and I enjoyed it. Echo what others have said here about the audience and pace. The audience is definitely on your side (unless you start insulting them). Speak slowly and loudly (the mic wasn't working at the venue we were in so I had my wife at the back of the room, put her hand to her ear if I got too quiet) - If there's a lot of elderly deaf relatives there, you'll no doubt be given feedback!!! No one likes a mumbler. 7 mins just now might be down to 5 if nerves kick in and you rush it. From memory, I opened with the line about ordering "pageone" in an Italian restaurant and it got a decent laugh and settled any nerves. You're generally there to speak on behalf of/compliment the bridesmaids too and read out a selection of telegrams (is that still a thing?) so make sure you cover all your bases. Enjoy it. Smile and you'll relax the audience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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