NotThePars Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Gamble for 40 years and have never heard of a Rule 4 deduction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Talk about how a spot of military service would do the young people of today a world of good, despite not having served a day in the military themselves. Use the phrase "they don't know they're born." (Wtf does that even mean?) Blame young people for everything, including things that old people are to blame for. Despite only sleeping for 3 hours in every 24, wait until lunchtime to run their errands, getting in the way of productive people who only have a few minutes before they have to get back to work. Drive slowly in the passing lane with their indicators on. Talk about how much cheaper everything was back in their day, while ignoring the fact that incomes were lower too. Run the central heating at levels which would melt a salamander while complaining about the cost of heating. (This may just have been my Dad.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Think the BBC is a fine British institution instead of a Tory Government mouthpiece pedo ring.Fully buy into British class system and think upper class are the ruling elite and should be beyond reproach.Have been heavily subjugated and think English people are by birth superior beings to Scots.Many younger Jock “wha’s like us” types also agree with this.In summary, old people love Britain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Talk fondly of old sci-fi films that had much better storylines when what they really mean is that the special effects were crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Drink soup Sit in the Main Stand at Pittodrie Wear Ecco shoes Bunnets Be dottled. Wax lyrical about Turd Lanark as if they were multiple World Cup Winners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Watch utterly brain melting TV all dayWant medication for every little problem instead of changing bad habits.Blame other people for their own mistakesLet themselves get into a horrible physical state and blame it on bullshit.Bitch about people they don't know.Watch old episodes of HeartbeatBuy shit they don't need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Use public transport when people are trying to get to/from work. Pretend to be poor. Think that being old is an achievement that deserves respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShaggysBeard Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 How old we going for here? My old person just sits in and watches ITV3 all day apart from when Foyle's War is on, when she does a crossword, because she "can't stand that man". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 The funny thing about this thread compared to the others (students, various classes, etc) is that most/all of the posters will fit the category one day. You will then be able to experience the joy of younger folk having a go at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dayman fighter of the nightman Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Sit at a bus stop moaning about their arthritis and sore legs but knock you out the way running to get on the bus first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Kinnear Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I'm 51 but don't consider myself to be old. I do however have athritis in my hips from years of long distance running. The worst things I have found in my progression towards old age is: 1) my memory is definitely getting worse. 2) i have to get up through the night every night for a piss 3) if i eat any later than about 8pm I cannot sleep and i can't eat spicy food now 4) young folk at work give me the "f**k off you old b*****d look" when i talk about the past 5) i am definitely more cautious when driving 6) i think modern football is shite and yearn to see a decent 50/50 challenge where both players just get up and get on with it. Apart from that everything is just perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Old folk are shit and smell of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 They love to tell you about the good old days moments after telling you stories about how grim everything was. Still believe whatever the newspaper and BBC tell them as they wouldn't lie. Like the Queen regardless of being unable to answer me what she has ever done for them. Tell you they hate the Tories and hate what Labour have become before voting No. Just fucking die you old dicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JakeSAFC Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Deliberately walk in front of you when you're in a rush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 41 minutes ago, Harry Kinnear said: I'm 51 but don't consider myself to be old. I do however have athritis in my hips from years of long distance running. 3) if i eat any later than about 8pm I cannot sleep and i can't eat spicy food now If not being able to eat spicy food is a consequence of getting old can you let me know when it kicked in so I can plan my exit from this world accordingly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Kinnear Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 If not being able to eat spicy food is a consequence of getting old can you let me know when it kicked in so I can plan my exit from this world accordingly? I got diagnosed with a hiatus hernia about 5 years ago and since then I just can't eat anything remotely spicy. If i do its followed by lots of gaviscon which is a life saver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Fart with impunity because they are deaf. A 90+yo guy being helped down some steps at my cousin's wedding and farting with every single step is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Even the bride was laughing to the point of tears with a complete inability to breathe (along with everyone else under the age of 40). This happened on the big outdoor staircase feature (with statues of lions etc) that made him the centre of attention for everybody in the garden below. Glorious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Intentionally get a singer/celebrity's name wrong to try and show that they're cool and don't keep up with the times. "Is that that Ted Sheeran or whatever he's called?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Kinnear Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 They love to tell you about the good old days moments after telling you stories about how grim everything was. Still believe whatever the newspaper and BBC tell them as they wouldn't lie. Like the Queen regardless of being unable to answer me what she has ever done for them. Tell you they hate the Tories and hate what Labour have become before voting No. Just fucking die you old dicks I hate the Queen and the Royal Family. I voted Yes and I am a member of the SNP.Thanks Gaz you have convinced me I am not old [emoji16] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Wobble and shake. Dribble down their chins. Eat noisily. Nip you. Have a beard/moustache. And that's just the wifies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.