Wet Wipe Perverts

[Rugster]

For people who use wipes, what do you do at work or in a public shitter? Do you carry a supply of wipes around with you?

[Honest_Man#1]

5 minutes ago, Rugster said:

For people who use wipes, what do you do at work or in a public shitter? Do you carry a supply of wipes around with you?

Unfortunately there’s no way around it until we advance as a nation. Just got to do what you can with paper. Also as mentioned before for the people talking about clogging up the sewers, you just use toilet paper as normal until there’s nothing left appearing on the paper, then use a wet wipe to fully clean your arse. 

I honestly cannot believe that some people seem so against cleaning their arses.

[Bring Back Paddy Flannery]

For people who use wipes, what do you do at work or in a public shitter? Do you carry a supply of wipes around with you?

You just have to take the hit unfortunately.

The ideal technique is to remove the main accumulation of shite with paper, then get the remains off with a wet wipe before one last paper wipe to dry, unless of course you favour the slippery crack feel but that's not for me.

As for the suggestion of wetting the paper, come on to f**k. You'd be picking paper mache clingons out your arse for about a week.

[Honest_Man#1]

3 minutes ago, Bring Back Paddy Flannery said:

 

You just have to take the hit unfortunately.

The ideal technique is to remove the main accumulation of shite with paper, then get the remains off with a wet wipe before one last paper wipe to dry, unless of course you favour the slippery crack feel but that's not for me.

As for the suggestion of wetting the paper, come on to f**k. You'd be picking paper mache clingons out your arse for about a week.

 

This guy gets it.

[Stellaboz]

I put hundreds of stuff down the toilet, the other adult in my house is always moaning at me for it.  I heard on the radio the other day that they (they being the company who deal with such things) had pulled a huge blockage of nappies, wipes etc out of their system which was the size of 2 buses......or something along those lines.
By blocking the toilets/sewage system you are effectively keeping someone in a job so its helping the economy.

You're happy to eat fish from the ocean with your junk in its system? Have a fucking word with yourself.

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, Dindeleux said:

I put hundreds of stuff down the toilet,

Every time his doorbell rings

1 hour ago, Granny Danger said:

I will need to look for hidden cameras around the toilet in my house.

Sorry that should read ‘I will need to look for hidden cameras around the four toilets in my house.’   

 

^^^^ Sleeps in his office

[Granny Danger]

35 minutes ago, bob the tank said:

A friend of mine in the care sector says that the use of wet wipes as a body wash is fairly widespread, and known as a Dundee Shower

The most ridiculous thing about that post is the claim you have a friend.

 

[KnightswoodBear]

27 minutes ago, Rugster said:

For people who use wipes, what do you do at work or in a public shitter? Do you carry a supply of wipes around with you?

When I was down in Manchester for the Uefa Cup Final, after a day of heavy drinking, smoking cigarettes and standing about in the hot sun, I felt the unmistakable twinge then rumbling that indicated that I needed to get to a lavvy immediately. 

You'll have seen the pictures.  There were one or two of us down there, so finding a kung fu fighter at short notice was a bit of an issue.  I'd noticed however that there was a sign indicating that there was a cafe up a flight of stairs just round the corner from where we were standing.  I quickly dashed up the stairs and luckily the place was fairly empty.  It seemed to be full of folk cowering keeping out of the way of the Bears enjoying their day out.

Not being a dick I asked if it was ok if i used their facilities and offered to buy a can of coke and a roll.  No problem mate was the reply, but there's no paper, a couple of your mates have been in and used it all!  Disaster!  Luckily one of the patrons taking refuge was a mother with her baby and she produced a pack of wipes for me to use.

I have to say that my nipsy felt like it was positively gleaming afterwards.  I did not however flush them down the bog and used one of the shops provided nappy sacks and stuck them in the sanitary bin along with the shitty nappies.

It's a little known fact that the small bit of bother during the game came about not because some Chelsea fans got a bit annoyed when the big screen broke down, but because Basher off the Brigeton bus wasn't lucky enough to meet a kindly mother and baby willing to offer up some wet wipes and his arse got a wee bit ripe after he had to use a copy of the Manchester Evening News to mop up his ringpiece.

[heedthebaa]

There is no argument here, anyone that doesn’t use wipes, depending on location  is a clarty hoor. Wipes are a must, especially during the summer, when ring sting is a factor 

[Rugster]

2 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

When I was down in Manchester for the Uefa Cup Final, after a day of heavy drinking, smoking cigarettes and standing about in the hot sun, I felt the unmistakable twinge then rumbling that indicated that I needed to get to a lavvy immediately. 

You'll have seen the pictures.  There were one or two of us down there, so finding a kung fu fighter at short notice was a bit of an issue.  I'd noticed however that there was a sign indicating that there was a cafe up a flight of stairs just round the corner from where we were standing.  I quickly dashed up the stairs and luckily the place was fairly empty.  It seemed to be full of folk cowering keeping out of the way of the Bears enjoying their day out.

Not being a dick I asked if it was ok if i used their facilities and offered to buy a can of coke and a roll.  No problem mate was the reply, but there's no paper, a couple of your mates have been in and used it all!  Disaster!  Luckily one of the patrons taking refuge was a mother with her baby and she produced a pack of wipes for me to use.

I have to say that my nipsy felt like it was positively gleaming afterwards.  I did not however flush them down the bog and used one of the shops provided nappy sacks and stuck them in the sanitary bin along with the shitty nappies.

It's a little known fact that the small bit of bother during the game came about not because some Chelsea fans got a bit annoyed when the big screen broke down, but because Basher off the Brigeton bus wasn't lucky enough to meet a kindly mother and baby willing to offer up some wet wipes and his arse got a wee bit ripe after he had to use a copy of the Manchester Evening News to mop up his ringpiece.

And so did this convince you to use wipes from thenceforth? 

[KnightswoodBear]

Just now, Rugster said:

And so did this convince you to use wipes from thenceforth? 

I'm going to be honest.  No, it didn't.

I have however used them on the odd occasion.  Like a wee treat after a particularly stressful jobby.

[Rugster]

1 minute ago, KnightswoodBear said:

I'm going to be honest.  No, it didn't.

I have however used them on the odd occasion.  Like a wee treat after a particularly stressful jobby.

Aha. So you are satisfied that generally you can clean your hoop sufficiently with paper. 

This is interesting, I can see both sides of the debate here.

[KnightswoodBear]

Just now, Rugster said:

Aha. So you are satisfied that generally you can clean your hoop sufficiently with paper. 

This is interesting, I can see both sides of the debate here.

Yes, I learned to do it when I was about 4 or so.  Wipe till their is no shite on the paper is my general rule of thumb.

[Rugster]

Just now, KnightswoodBear said:

Yes, I learned to do it when I was about 4 or so.  Wipe till their is no shite on the paper is my general rule of thumb.

Yes, this is my general thinking. I'm leaning towards being satisfied that I am doing it correctly by using paper as I'm a capable and functioning adult.

[Honest_Man#1]

Just now, Rugster said:

Aha. So you are satisfied that generally you can clean your hoop sufficiently with paper. 

This is interesting, I can see both sides of the debate here.

I am utterly amazed that someone who has used them wouldn’t be instantly convinced. I would encourage everyone as a test to try cleaning their arse until they think it’s clean with paper, then give it another couple of good wipes with wet wipes and have a look. I would be extremely confident that more shite will be there on the wet wipes.

As Bairnardo said, if you broke through the paper and your hand was covered in shite, you wouldn’t just wipe it off with paper. You would be scrubbing with soap etc. Your arse shouldn’t be that different really, least you can do is use a wet wipe to clean it fully.

[heedthebaa]

5 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

I'm going to be honest.  No, it didn't.

I have however used them on the odd occasion.  Like a wee treat after a particularly stressful jobby.

I consider talcum powder a wee treat

[Honest_Man#1]

1 minute ago, Rugster said:

Yes, this is my general thinking. I'm leaning towards being satisfied that I am doing it correctly by using paper as I'm a capable and functioning adult.

See my post above. I implore you to test it out, as wiping until nothing left on the paper is nothing more than a false sense of security, there is still shite there to be cleaned.

[Rugster]

1 minute ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

I am utterly amazed that someone who has used them wouldn’t be instantly convinced. I would encourage everyone as a test to try cleaning their arse until they think it’s clean with paper, then give it another couple of good wipes with wet wipes and have a look. I would be extremely confident that more shite will be there on the wet wipes.

As Bairnardo said, if you broke through the paper and your hand was covered in shite, you wouldn’t just wipe it off with paper. You would be scrubbing with soap etc. Your arse shouldn’t be that different really, least you can do is use a wet wipe to clean it fully.

I may have a trial run.

[KnightswoodBear]

Just now, heedthebaa said:

I consider talcum powder a wee treat

Fairly sure I had some of that down in Manchester that day as well.

[Gaz]

53 minutes ago, Rugster said:

For people who use wipes, what do you do at work or in a public shitter? Do you carry a supply of wipes around with you?

I've usually got a packet in my bag, along with nappies.

For the weans, like. I'm not some kind of deviant.