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2018 Political Predictions


Colkitto

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So what's your predictions on what will happen politically in 2018? 

I can't think of a time when the future is so unpredictable. For Scotland independence still remains at the core of everything; add a dash of Brexit   and who knows what will happen?  

Nicola Sturgeon is still a popular leader within the SNP and the wider Yes movement. But she won't be able to stay silent on indyref2 next year in my opinion. I'm not saying that she is under pressure from the SNP/ Yes movement to make some imminent statement. The Yes movement is one of the most knowledgeable and politically savvy movements in Western Europe, and is aware Nicola will probably be driven by "events" 

Her choices seem to be are hold indyref2 whilst Scotland remains part of the EU and already mandated to hold one within this parly term. Or wait until the next Holyrood parly term and gamble on getting another Holyrood independence majority within parliament again.     

Down at Westminster, we have a government in total disarray with Cabinet Minster resignations and the handling of the EU talks bordering on the farcical. Also being held to ransom by the DUP you have to wonder if they can last in government at the most crucial of times. 

I can see the EU trade talks being just as farcical....

Labour under Corbyn should be miles ahead in the polls by now, but given he is a mad Brexiteer also he can't make any political capital out of the Tory meltdown over the EU talks and Cabinet resignations. If a UK General election is called next year Corbyn will almost certainly require SNP help to get the keys of Number 10 - but at what cost? 

Anyway, my predictions...

Indyref2 called for Spring 2019

May resigns - UK General election called  

Corbyn to be PM with help from the SNP

UK shafted over EU trade deals

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Indyref to be tabled despite Cat Boyd's MI5 handlers increasing their funding.

Centrists to devote 40% of their columns to how Corbyn coming out against Brexit will shoot Labour 20 points clear in the polls.

>10 new centrist "rational" anti-Brexit parties to form and dissipate with a shorter lifespan than the common house fly.

No general election in 2018.

Bashar "the Lion of Damascus" Al-Assad to retake de facto control of Syria despite tacit US support for the Islamist dominated rebels.

Seth Abramson to write 365 365-tweet threads detailing in depth Trump's impeachment.

Trump to remain in charge without facing impeachment.

Louise Mensch to get an op-ed in the NYT detailing confidential UN plans to launch a land and amphibious assault on Washington DC.

Congo to become one of the next major geopolitical crisis points.

Trump to convert to Catholicism after he finally visits the Vatican and realises they both have gaudy excess in common.

North Korea to acquire nuclear capability.

The Resistance will rehabilitate Henry Kissinger after he falls asleep in a meeting with Trump.

A novel imagining a universe where David Miliband and Hillary Clinton won will become a bestseller.

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This time next year:

 - Theresa May will still be the Prime Minister, despite rattling though another disastrous year

- Jeremy Corbyn will have made up no more than 2 points in the polling despite this, and will still be totally non-committal in his views on Brexit

- Nicola Sturgeon will have hinted at a second referendum a few times during the summer, however nothing will officially be announced

- Brexit will still be heading for disaster, and everyone will be bickering over pointless aspects of it in an attempt to deflect from it

- Nigel Farage will either be dead (heart attack) or leading UKIP again, after the nonentity they have at the moment is unveiled as a mad racist

- Trump will do something to North Korea, it'll end up being quite pointless, and only create further tension

- A far right party will win power in a European election

Basically there'll be plenty of build-up about this being a massive year, and in reality little changes, and when it does, it does for the worse.

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1. Theresa May to be forced out after losing a commons vote, and the resulting nervous breakdown.

2. Nigel Farage's "bloke in a pub having a pint and a cig" shtick to cone back and haunt him with serious liver problems.

3. Trump's presidency to finally collapse under a truckload of dodgy deals and corruption.

4. Ian Duncan Smith to be diagnosed with cancer.

5. ... oops. I got mixed up with my "hopes" list.

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1. Theresa May to be forced out after losing a commons vote, and the resulting nervous breakdown.

2. Nigel Farage's "bloke in a pub having a pint and a cig" shtick to cone back and haunt him with serious liver problems.

3. Trump's presidency to finally collapse under a truckload of dodgy deals and corruption.

4. Ian Duncan Smith to be diagnosed with cancer.

5. ... oops. I got mixed up with my "hopes" list.


Farage's wife already leaving him is a good omen for another shite year in his life.
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Corbyn being PM [emoji38]
He's an inept c**t. It'll be just another Tory, if not May. Imagine thinking that imbecile even stands a chance.
This.

Corbyn is a shambling coward, barely able to lay a glove on the most useless Prime Minister in living memory. Vague rumblings of nationalising fucking trains and he's the second coming of socialism. My mother's Labrador is more likely to take up residence at Downing Street than he is.

Useless c**t.
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The frustrating thing is that he's actually competent. He's a smart guy who, if he actually channels it right, could actually make a difference. He's just a massive shitebag, and a huge brexiteer so will happily send every one of us to the dogs. He's a total c**t.

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In Holyrood Kezia Dugdale defects to the SNP and announces she is having an affair with Nicola Sturgeon.  Wee Nic is outed by this revelation which breaks Ruth Davidson's heart as Nicola has constantly spurned her advances. New Labour in Scotland leader Richard erm...,Richard??? Erm... Richard??( Ach! , You know who I mean), makes capital of this and sends Labour soaring in the polls by an increase of 3 points. Rejoicing in the Labour camps. Alex Salmond makes a sensational return to Scottish politics by forming a new Putinist party. Wee Nic offers Prime Minister May a good time in exchange for a place at the Brexit table. May says No. She would never cheat on Boris.

In Westminster, May is finally toppled. A bitter fierce battle ensues for the Tory leadership. Favourite, Michael Gove looks a shoe in until it is revealed that Nigel Farage has been a Tory member for years and is seeking a seat. A Tory MP is mysteriously murdered and Farage becomes candidate. The by election is rushed through and Farage returns to front line politics. The Tory party rules are scrapped to allow Farage to run for for leader. He romps home to become PM and promises no deals whatever over Brexit. He insists that we will trade only with Zimbabwe to keep our economy strong.

Labour? Erm. Same old. Corbyn hopeless and constantly missing open goals.

In a desperate effort to get a seat at the negotiations with Zimbabwe Nicola Sturgeon offers to ditch Independence hopes for Scotland for 10 generations. Farage says NO. He is happy to ditch the Scummy Scots and build a new Hadrian's wall to keep us out and gets the Royal Navy to blockade our shores to starve us to death. Sturgeon threatens to use the Nuclear weapons and strengthens her stance by signing a Nuclear pact with North Korea. Then someone discovers that they weapons are obsolete as the Yanks took the only key with them when they moved out.

All in all another boring year to come.

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I think we'll have a relatively quiet 2018 compared to 2017.

I can see Phillip Hammond continuing to split the Tory front bench with his scepticism of leaving the single market.

Theresa May will still be in power, but I think she will resign in 2019, regardless of deal or no deal with the EU.

Corbyn will still be leader of Labour but I think we may see leadership credentials shown by both Sir Keir Starmer and Emily Thornberry. I would personally have either of them should Corbyn step aside for any reason.

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