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Best post on P&B (ever) 2017 edition.

Brother Blades

By Brother Blades
in The General Nonsense Forum

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J_Stewart

J_Stewart

Posted
Posted
48 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

Wasn't it to do with song lyrics?

Pretty sure it was a post someone had made condoning Jeremy Forrest running off to France with his 15-year old pupil. Swampy quoted it, drew a speech mark round the quote, and had the speech bubble coming from the Limmy BEAST photo. It was a genuine work of art.

Shame he's a total moon howler now.   

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Granny Danger

Granny Danger

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Bairnardo said:

He has expressly denied it several times.

 

He has also defended paedos. He is a racist and is not really shy about it. No matter if he is swampy or not (before my time I think) he is a horrible b*****d and should be banned for his views before a mod even considers checking his IP vs Swampys.

Whilst I agree with all of the above, he only still posts because other posters respond to him.

If we all ignored him he would soon stop.

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afca32

afca32

Posted
Posted
43 minutes ago, J_Stewart said:

Pretty sure it was a post someone had made condoning Jeremy Forrest running off to France with his 15-year old pupil. Swampy quoted it, drew a speech mark round the quote, and had the speech bubble coming from the Limmy BEAST photo. It was a genuine work of art.

Shame he's a total moon howler now.   

Pretty sure it was directed at a Dundee fan for sticking up for WeeperDee being a beast.

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Rugster

Rugster

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

He has expressly denied it several times.

 

He has also defended paedos. He is a racist and is not really shy about it. No matter if he is swampy or not (before my time I think) he is a horrible b*****d and should be banned for his views before a mod even considers checking his IP vs Swampys.

Absolutely no denying he is a c**t, for sure. 

22 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

This is true and I do try. I have only bitten to some of more disgusting shit he says because I couldn't help it but am now walking the righteous path of ignoring the nasty shit that he is. Now that banana has joined in with his act it has become to eye bleeding to read never mind respond to.

Another c**t.  Repulsive poster.

22 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Did somebody not go to Ruel Street and find that there was no number 12?

Yes someone passed it and confirmed this. No confirmation if any maws were ever brought unfortunately.

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RiG

RiG

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, Enigma said:

 Think I’m right in saying this was never actually a P&B post and was lifted from xbl’s Bebo page or blog or something?

Pretty sure it was posted on here in a drunken stupor by XBL. Sadly it's been lost in the great purges of years gone by.

Anyway, my favourites would probably be:

  • Gloves
  • Decomposing badger down a drain pipe (that's a very old one)
  • Francesc Fabregas and his description of a bleary eyed keithgy being called to bed by his partner as he sits hunched over the computer screen modding P & B - "The Bargain Basement needs me!"
  • Jambo Mikey and his MS Paint job of magee
  • Not really a post but virginton destroying glory hunting Rangers fan XIXTHEONEXIX who claimed never to have supported Dumbarton. VT dug out a load of quotes from said poster clearly showing his previous allegiance to the Sons before he decided to jump ship and follow a more successful team to fill the massive void in his life. He slunk off the forum not long after.
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The Minertaur

The Minertaur

Posted
Posted
Quote

Oh for f**k sake...

Original poster states - Volume Button Doesn't Work.

I ask, is the Volume actually on. As in, is their sound at a certain volume, but cannot be changed due to the fucked button...

Reason why I ask that is the TV I currently have has fucked sound, but is completely off meaning I run the sound through my hifi... Was looking at doing the same thing if this was a genuine sale...

Actually laughing at half of you c***s, that yous didn't understand the question...

:lol:

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Hedgecutter

Hedgecutter

Posted
Posted
What's the hunchback shagger story?


HTH:

On ‎08‎/‎01‎/‎2013 at 21:17, eddiemunster said:

The Funk Room at The Arches was always a happy hunting ground for me back in the day. A very healthy ratio of girls to guys meant that I done far better than a big heided wee guy from Motherwell probably should.

This particular night my mate and I tanned a couple of swedgers and were in fine form as soon as we arrived. Quick couple of drinks and then into the main arch to tune into the music and do some serious sniffing aboot.

Within minutes we were dancing beside, then with a couple of lassies who seemed quite cool. The music and class A's were searing through me and this lassie and I were soon dancing close, then firing into each other in the corner.

Very quickly we both decided to bail back to mine in a taxi and went to tell my mate and her pal. My mate gave me a knowing wink and wished me a good night and off we went this lassie and out into the cool night. The pills making everything seem perfect.

We were all over each other in the taxi, my hand up her skirt feeling her wet through her knickers and she all but had my cock out, i'm thinking this is fucking brilliant! We stumbled and staggered up the close stairs, still right into each other all the way. Into my flat, bouncing off the walls, tearing our clothes off and bang at it on the floor as soon as we got in. Powered by drugs, drink and a youthful libido I was putting in a fine performance in the missionary position and decided to birl her over for some doggy style. As I did, it was then I saw it for the first time.

She had a hump.

Oh for f**k sake, an actual fucking hump. It was a different colour from the rest of her back and everything, like a sort of bruisey colour with a texture like scar tissue. I was shagging a hunchback. At that moment I realised the knowing wink my mate had given me. The c**t. He had obviously clocked it, whereas I was too mad with it and horny to see beyond the tits and that, he knew and let me go, no doubt pishing himself laughing.

All these mad disgusted thoughts spun round in my drug addled and traumatised brain. I was baw deep in a hunchback, what was I all about? Fucking hell, this is no right.

It was then I did what any right thinking man would do, I birled her back over onto her back and just kidded on I hadn't seen it. Through gritted teeth I pounded away at her,trying to erase from my mind the sight that I had just seen. This horror coupled with the drugs meant that I couldn't finish for what felt like hours. I was locked in this death grip with her loving it.

Eventually with sweat and fear pouring from every pore I faked an theatrical orgasm, then prayed for sleep. She fell asleep and I lay there awake all night like a stranger in my own bed. At one point she turned over and it touched me, I could do nothing but make a horrified face and edged away till I was hanging out the bed.

In the morning I pretended I had to go to work, just to get her out the house. I done a stunt trip to the bus stop and when she was gone I went home, stripped the sheets from the bed and tanned half a bottle of Jim beam.
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