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P & B Limerick competition 2017


PB 4.2

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On 14/11/2017 at 17:11, Finch road said:

Shandon Par he dons a cape his taste in clothes delightful 

Although he is Dunfy fan his choice in pies insightful 

He sparred against a younger chap his nose was smashed to pieces

Despite his loafers could be worse hes never thrown faeces 

That's not a limerick.

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There was a young man named Tedi

CENSORED

Spoiler

There was a young man named Tedi
Whose tastes were for girls not ready
He thought if they bled
There was nought to be said
And was shocked that it earned him a reddie.

 

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1 minute ago, Monkey Tennis said:

Not bad, but lines 2,3 and 5 each need additional syllables.

How's this

 

Monkey Tennis is so very boring

his posts just result in us snoring

when he made the big list

by god he was pissed

But sympathy was just not outpouring 

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4 minutes ago, Rugster said:

How's this

 

Monkey Tennis is so very boring

his posts just result in us snoring

when he made the big list

by god he was pissed

But sympathy was just not outpouring 

Better.

Not sure you should repeatedly employ the word 'just' though.  I'd rework that final line a little if I were you.

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2 minutes ago, 8MileBU said:

Rugsters just a cock

No brains and follows the flock

His posts mind me of Stan

Cos he thinks he’s the man

But he’s the crust on Throbber’s sock







 

Metre for Christ's sake.

Metre.

There's more to a limerick than rhyme scheme.

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