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Terrible Jobs


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14 hours ago, Gaz said:

I used to deliver to the big poash houses on the east side of the village I grew up in. They were all inhabited by rich old retired c***s who  didn't have to leave their house and, almost without exception, had really steep drives. In the winter they would ice like f**k and it was treacherous going up and down them. After a few close calls and me asking the owners to grit their drives (they refused) I just left their newspapers at the bottom of the drive one day. About six of them phoned in saying it was dangerous for them to go down the drive in case they slipped and broke their leg on the ice. The owner of the newsagent, to his credit, told them that it was equally dangerous for me and that I'd asked them to grit their drives and they refused, plus I actually had school to go to rather than staying in all day watching repeats of 15-to-1 (might not have been his exact words).

One-up me!

They equalised when they all voted no and screwed your future

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1 hour ago, welshbairn said:

And someone lifted it onto his back and he only had to drop it at lorry level. Piece of pish.

I reckon it would have been harder if he had been walking on the level rather than uphill.

Tryfields da had it sussed, stick it on a bike and walk for miles with it.

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On ‎11‎/‎10‎/‎2017 at 19:52, Bairnardo said:

 

Naw ye huvny.

 

Eta is this part of the Morton trend of letting other posters know that you know who they are?

 

They should team up with the folk who ask "Do you know who I am"?

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3 hours ago, Falcor Roar said:

I worked in a haggis factory for 2 days. Chucked it in after they made us stroke ice off the surface of foot long black puddings with our bare hands all afternoon. 

Phwoar.

Keep talking.

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On 10/10/2017 at 05:59, The Chlamydia Kid said:

 

Another crap job was a delivery driver- class two truck delivering large household appliances- couches, furniture, TVs etc. About 40-50 drops per day. Was knackering carrying that sort of stuff up closes and multiple flights of stairs all day fighting the clock. However the van boy I had- Wee Motherwell fan was a legend, great laugh just the two of us out all day. The job meant I was usually too tired to go to the gym, physically tired when I got home and wakened up sore to do it all again the next days. Ended up getting ridiculously adept at carrying washing machines on my own back and being able to balance 3 seater couches on my shoulder and carry them one handed.

2

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I had paper rounds as a kid in Alloa in the 90s. First one with Ormston's at the bottom of the High Street. £7.50 and I delivered to houses in Ashley Terrace, including the daily record for the old folk's home (now demolished). That was a sight - going in every morning and these old folk are just sitting, staring into space. Ormston's was grim, though. Fat, greasy woman hurling abuse at you at 7 am for no reason.

I left that for JB Rae in Primorose Street. Mr Sanchdev was a good boss to me - £9 a week, and then he added a Sunday round for me that raked in £5 a go.  I delivered a Sunday paper to a retired school teacher the day after she won £3.5 million on the lottery. My tip that morning? 50p. Same as every other week. 

One day Mr Sanchdev paid me £5 too much. I looked at it and told him what he'd done, but he held a hand up and said it was OK, I was to keep it. About 6 months later he did the same to a mate of mine who also had a round with him. I think it was some kind of honesty test. 

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Hitches up trousers and points cane at the young whippersnappers.

Alright, my paper round.  £1.26 for 6 days a week, delivering papers to 28 houses spread fucking miles apart. I did it for 6 months and it rained every single day apart from twice when it snowed. The canvas shoulder bag was completely ineffective at keeping the papers dry so the poor buggers at the end of the route got used to receiving a gray, sodden mess. Worst day was Fridays when the local fishwrap came out. Everyone subscribed and this trebled the load. The bag was so heavy, I couldn't ride my bike until I was almost half way done. doG, I hated that paper round.

I finally chucked it and switched to delivering milk. (Ask your parents.) Up at 5 and running most of the time, delivering fresh milk to the doorsteps and collecting the empties all while being barked at by the lovably mad Irish milkman who took pride in the round always being completed by 8am.  Saturday was a double delivery which meant twice the empties on Monday. On the frosty mornings the glass bottles would stick to your fingers with the exception of Mrs McIlwraith's on Esthwaite Avenue because she made a point of running them under hot water just before we arrived. Whistling especially loud as I ran to the door of my Geography teacher, lusting after Catherine Wilson (3 years my senior) as she walked to her job at the bakery and shouting good-natured(ish) abuse at the kids working the rival milk float.

Good times.

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37 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

Hitches up trousers and points cane at the young whippersnappers.

Alright, my paper round.  £1.26 for 6 days a week, delivering papers to 28 houses spread fucking miles apart. I did it for 6 months and it rained every single day apart from twice when it snowed. The canvas shoulder bag was completely ineffective at keeping the papers dry so the poor buggers at the end of the route got used to receiving a gray, sodden mess. Worst day was Fridays when the local fishwrap came out. Everyone subscribed and this trebled the load. The bag was so heavy, I couldn't ride my bike until I was almost half way done. doG, I hated that paper round.

I finally chucked it and switched to delivering milk. (Ask your parents.) Up at 5 and running most of the time, delivering fresh milk to the doorsteps and collecting the empties all while being barked at by the lovably mad Irish milkman who took pride in the round always being completed by 8am.  Saturday was a double delivery which meant twice the empties on Monday. On the frosty mornings the glass bottles would stick to your fingers with the exception of Mrs McIlwraith's on Esthwaite Avenue because she made a point of running them under hot water just before we arrived. Whistling especially loud as I ran to the door of my Geography teacher, lusting after Catherine Wilson (3 years my senior) as she walked to her job at the bakery and shouting good-natured(ish) abuse at the kids working the rival milk float.

Good times.

TLDR!

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31 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Rained every single day for 6 months? Why haven't I ever heard of this record rainfall and the subsequent flooding and devastation it caused?

You should visit the Lake District in winter sometime. This was our school uniform.

200px-British_navy_frogman.jpg

26 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Is that the Esthwaite Avenue in St Helens? Got a story about there. 

Nope, Cumbria. I've pretty much told you everything interesting about our one. 

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3 minutes ago, Bishoptonbankie said:

I always feel bad when i'm at disney watching the parades etc they have all the horses in them and have two folks whos job it is is to clean up the horse shit at the back of the parade. Its not so much an awful job but imagine you're telling people what your job is, 'i work for disney' 'yeh im in the big parade they have' 'what do i do? no no im not a prince, im not a dancer, i pick up the horsehit and wave'.

I'll bet they always take first prize at the garden shows though.

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6 minutes ago, Bishoptonbankie said:

I always feel bad when i'm at disney watching the parades etc they have all the horses in them and have two folks whos job it is is to clean up the horse shit at the back of the parade. Its not so much an awful job but imagine you're telling people what your job is, 'i work for disney' 'yeh im in the big parade they have' 'what do i do? no no im not a prince, im not a dancer, i pick up the horsehit and wave'.

Better that than sweating in a heavy costume and getting punched in the stomach by spoilt brats. 

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18 minutes ago, Bishoptonbankie said:

I always feel bad when i'm at disney watching the parades etc they have all the horses in them and have two folks whos job it is is to clean up the horse shit at the back of the parade. Its not so much an awful job but imagine you're telling people what your job is, 'i work for disney' 'yeh im in the big parade they have' 'what do i do? no no im not a prince, im not a dancer, i pick up the horsehit and wave'.

I don't know, at least it's a stable job!

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