John Lambies Doos Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 Not a lie but I used to put on my CV that I make excellent tea and coffee. In case, y'know, the unofficial role of tea and coffee maker is currently vacant. Bit of humour is always seen as positive on CV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 3 minutes ago, John Lambies Doos said: Bit of humour is always seen as positive on CV Every successful team needs a tea and coffee maker. They're like the Didier Deschamps of the working world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul-r-cfc Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Used to get some belters when j used to work in a restaurant. Guy had a whole side of A4 discussing how much he liked to skateboard. Don't know how relevant such experience would have been to a dishwahing role Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 We used to get a few applications from folk who'd obviously been told to (reluctantly) apply by the jobcentre. Some were terrific. One girl who failed to spell her own name correctly, another from a girl who in the "knowledge, skills and experience" section simply wrote "none but need the munny". [emoji38] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 17 minutes ago, jupe1407 said: One girl who failed to spell her own name correctly, another from a girl who in the "knowledge, skills and experience" section simply wrote "none but need the munny". Was she tidy though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Mine is bland as f**k and I need to update it. Thank you for reminding me. Edit: I had a QR code on it for a while to my LinkedIn or something. f**k knows what I was thinking there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 6 hours ago, Le Tout P'ti FC said: Somebody was dismissed on Monday there, on Tuesday we got their CV through from an agency. Aye good idea, we'll take them back and give you a 20% finders fee. We'd get that regularly in the construction industry. The Foreman would get rid of a joiner (hate to say it but usually Eastern European) for not having any joinery skills only for the same guy to turn up with a set of nips claiming to be a steelfixer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Was she tidy though? Don't know, surprisingly she didn't get an interview [emoji38] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Watson Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 13 hours ago, smpar said: Had a CV handed in to my old work from a girl from Eastern Europe, she had bikini model listed on her CV. Not as a qualification, skill or even work experience, just mentioned that she'd done bikini modelling. She was absolutely gorgeous, but dim as f**k. I think I know why she was hired. Has she been 'bagged' yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMFC Mitchy Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 15 years I.T experience on my CV at 23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 A friend of mine told me of someone who claimed to be project manager on some project years earlier. My friend called him up and said - "you weren't project manager on that project because I was." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 9 hours ago, paul-r-cfc said: Used to get some belters when j used to work in a restaurant. Guy had a whole side of A4 discussing how much he liked to skateboard. Don't know how relevant such experience would have been to a dishwashing role I think you should have given him a chance. Either total chaos in the kitchen or the dishes get washed really quickly. "Out of the way. Dirty dishes coming through." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 The only way you'd know that my CV is mine is 'cos my name is at the top of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 And the fact you're nearly 450 years old and a Duke. 25 years experience First Minister of France. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I had no idea about cv’s before I went back to uni. I had to send a couple out when I was in Australia and they were 4 pages long and read more like an autobiography. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Four pages about being pished and wanking into a sock... Under my key strengths section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted October 7, 2017 Author Share Posted October 7, 2017 Four pages about being pished and wanking into a sock... He's showing good interpersonal skills imo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Under my key strengths section. What you'd like to be doing in 5 years time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 6 hours ago, jupe1407 said: Don't know, surprisingly she didn't get an interview That's a shame. She was probably fit as f**k. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 That's a shame. She was probably fit as f**k. Wasn't my decision tbf [emoji38] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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