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Initiation Ceremonies


carpetmonster

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2010 I was playing for the Paisley Pyros. We were travelling to Newcastle for an away day. Got pumped by about 30 points as expected, heads gone. Got tanked on the bus back up. Pull into a service station which probably was Gretna, pitch black. Big c**t sitting next to the driver shouts out "right boys, everyone out the bus now!". Shuffle out the bus mostly expecting what's going to happen. As per, they order us to strip doon. Some people refuse, most pull everything off. I'm no idiot so I put my shoes back on.

Tell us to find a partner, next to a lanky c**t from Dumfries, about 6'5, he'll dae. 

The activities we have to do are wheelbarrow racing, switch then carry the person in your arms facing you. The race starts, there's no prize, survival is the only goal. Wheelbarrow first and he's crawling, uncoordinated so his legs are flailing in my hands and he keeps toppling over.

Out of the dark, a 4 year veteran of the team, an absolute mouth breather who probably took 10 years to pass uni got naked himself only for the purpose of pushing us over. Once we gain momentum THWAK, this c**t clatters into us and leaves us in disarray. We manage to recover, switch then I have to carry this lad, I make a bridge from my arms so I don't have to grab his are cheeks, and he holds on to my neck for dear life with his balls slapping against my stomach. We switch and I arch my back to avoid any of that nonsense. 

And were done. Put my clothes back on, mumble to my partner and avoid any eye contact, get back on the bus and start tanning Sainsburys basic wine.

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I hope the world is immediately ended by nuclear weapons after reading that.

Also the fucking cheek to slag another guy for joining in your LADS LADS LADS bullshit is astonishing

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On 9/25/2017 at 19:52, MONKMAN said:

I take it “blackening” only takes place north of the central belt, by utter weirdos? Had never heard of it until a colleague from up north was telling me what happened to him.

Blackening happens in Stranraer too - I think it seems to be a farming community thing, south of the belt. Woman I work with has taken part in and been the victim of blackening prior to getting married.

I avoided going near Stranraer in the lead up to my wedding.

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6 minutes ago, AyrshireTon said:

Blackening happens in Stranraer too - I think it seems to be a farming community thing, south of the belt. Woman I work with has taken part in and been the victim of blackening prior to getting married.

I avoided going near Stranraer in the lead up to my wedding.

My mum and therefore half my family are from Stranraer, I’d never heard of it. May well be a farming thing, which would make a lot of sense. 

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The only blackenings I've seen have been in rural Aberdeenshire / Moray, with the couple on the back of a tractor trailer getting driven around the town.  The fact that one generally requires a tractor (or other vehicle that can get manky as f*** with minimal fuss) may explain why it's more common in farming communities, just a guess there though.  Hertz or Enterprise may rent them out to the city slickers for all I know.

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Lessons learned from this thread. If you do not like borderline abuse from latent homosexuals or being forced to consume bodily waste do not 

1. Join a rugby club

2. Join an American rugby club

3. Join the Army

4. Join the Navy

5. Get married outwith the Central Belt

6. Finish a pint slowly

7. Associate with tractor owners

 

I don't think I would've done any of these things in any event, but it's nice to have a reminder. 

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