Cancer ,its feckin bawz

[Fide]

1 hour ago, Tynieness said:

My old boy perforated his bowel on my daughters birthday last October.  They operated, repaired the leak and found a massive inoperable tumour.

He had been losing weight for months but hadn't went to GP.  Also had never done his bowel screen, let that be a lesson for you.

Anyway we were told he wouldnt make it to xmas but here we are after palliative chemo still here in July.

He was always fit and was still doing marathons a few years ago, so to see someone as fit as can be end up walking with a stick and weighing six stone has been difficult.

Thankfully it hasnt spread to his brain and he remains as sharp as a tack with a good sense of humour which is just as well as I was berating him for costing me an unexpected christmas, birthday and fathers day present the other day.

I live close by so see him every day and we have always been close so there is nothing left unsaid.  One of my best ever days was when just the two of us went to Hexham races for his 65th and stayed over a couple of years ago.

He can't go far now but try to get him out the house when I can. He has been a great dad and I hope I can be as good a dad to my kids.

I will miss him.

He'll be proud of you mate x

[budmiester1]

I've had the pleasure (not!!!) of having Colon Cancer. I was incredibly lucky in that I had attend my GP over something minor and he had some blood tests run, they noticed that I had a very low blood count and pretty shortly I was whisked thought the system , I had a right semi colonectomy within about 4 weeks of the diagnosis . That was 3 years ago, I still have nagging doubts over every minor niggle or pain until I get the all clear at my annual check up. I must admit that I was an utter pain to be with as I was snapping at anyone and everyone who asked me to be in a good place. Sometimes I still think what an utter arse I was during this and how it affected my better half and family.

[8MileBU]

Lost my Granny and Grandad to cancer. They both had a real good innings (Grandad was 83, Granny 91) and died fairly quickly after being diagnosed. They never really suffered either strangely enough (or did a great job of hiding it) so it wasn't really as tough on myself or the family as some folk have had it with loved ones.

 

However, and I've spoke about it on here before, but watching my mate battle it for just over a year (whilst his wife was pregnant with their second wee girl) then die at the ripe old age of 30 was fucking awful. It really is a fucking horrible b*****d of an illness.

 

[dundeefc1783]

Some heart-breaking stories here, 
 
I was going to do post about what I have just gone through on the Depression thread, but this seems more apt.
My dad was diagnosed around Oct last year, Cancer was in his jaw and we were told there was nothing they could do. I still remember the hopeful look on my dads face as he sat up on the couch in the consultants room. It was a severe blow to us all. I had been on anti depressants before and my doctor put me back on a course and has since increased them. I also have sleeping pills as I find it so hard to get a decent rest.
My dad had no real health issues although he had a pace maker fitted a few years ago. He was 87 and sprightly. He walked for his paper , messages etc and had only recently stopped driving.  Christmas and New Year were  tough, as although we had not been given a "time" we knew this was the last we would  have together. You start thinking about "the lasts". Last time to St Andrews last time to Kelvingrove etc.  I had to move back from Edinburgh to look after both my parents as mum has heart problems and had another attack in the New Year. My work suffered as I could no longer do Long distance deliveries as I needed to be back in the evening, I got to Edinburgh maybe once a week. 
Cancer takes its toll on the whole family , and while I got help from McMillian local Nurses and Doctors, and the council. Things got harder and harder. Dad wanted to stay at home and we did this up until a few days before his death. For a few months he seemed much like he always did. But he started to lose weight he had to walk with a stick. He gradually lost interest in his crossword, TV  etc.  He did keep his love of Classical music going though. Things got harder for all of us, I was drinking more than was good for me on top of my medication. Money was tight although we did get help through the DWP. 
The decline in the end was fairly rapid and brutal. We had to do most things for him. Cook , wash him , shave him, get him into his bed. One night I had to change him three times as he could not control his bowels. It was roll reversal, what he did for me  at the start of my life I was doing for him at the end of his. 
He was taken to Hospital on the Fri night and Died at 06:05 on the Wed. I sat with him, I held his hand, I kissed him on the forehead and said goodbye. I still haven't cried. 
I guess you are so busy then. Visitors , getting in touch with Pensions etc etc. There is so much to do. The funeral has come and gone. We all played our part in the process maybe that made things easier. But there is no right or wrong on how to feel, how to go about dealing with terminal illness and death. We will all react and cope in different ways. 
Now I feel a real sense of loss it, if anything is getting worse. My young brother had a heart attack and has undergone surgery. You sometimes feel "why bother". Well I still am.
I have a wonderful family and mum needs all the support I can give her. I need to look after my own health now and get back to work. I will never forget my dad. I remember and think about him all the time. He is in my very being. 
I hope this may help some of you who are struggling with things , please feel free to get in touch Love to one and all. And lets hope that one day we can defeat the scourge of Cancer.
 
 

Very similar story to my dad who died of lung cancer a couple of months back only 60.

Was diagnosed nearly three years ago and told it was in incurable. He was ok and responded well to treatment until
Around March this year when got terminal diagnosis and went downhill very quickly from there and was bed ridden for the last few weeks with us taking turns to look after him.

I was relieved in the end as it was horrendous to see him like that. While he was one of the lucky ones and not in a lot of pain it was tough to watch him struggle for breath and basically waist away.

We are still busy with all the financial stuff and the family seem to be coping ok. I think in the end it was relief that his suffering was over and he was at peace.

It's a truly harrowing disease and I wouldn't wish that on my own enemy and despite research and treatment improving it seems to be getting more and more people. Guess we can only pray that they are close to a cure but given the complexities of that I doubt if that day will ever come.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

I lost my Dad to cancer over four years ago.

My Mum called me about 6am and told me that he had such a sore back that he was crying with the pain. (I'd seen my Dad in tears once at a funeral). Mum had called an ambulance and I arrived about the same time. The paramedics put him in a chair to take him out and the last thing I ever heard him say was something along the lines of, "Poor folk having to try and lift me!"

He got quite heavily sedated when he arrived at the hospital and had a couple of tests done. Me and Mum were told that he'd be in about 3-4 days as it appeared to be pneumonia so we drove back along the road to get him a bag ready for his stay. About 30 minutes later we received a call asking us to go back along to the hospital. This was so they could tell us that he had cancer all over his body and was terminally ill.

We were told that they could try and bring him around but that he'd have no quality of life and their recommendation was to leave him sedated and let him drift away peacefully. Basically, in the space of around four hours we went from not knowing anything was wrong to having to make a decision about letting my Dad live or die.

He died around half six the same night. Weirdly, after all those years have passed I still get the initial urge to phone him to tell him about a good Rovers goal/game or good golf shots etc.

Obviously the worst thing I ever dealt with but I took great comfort knowing that he didn't suffer the illness for months, sometimes years like some poor souls do.

The cruel twist of fate being that I'm occassionaly asked to attend the side-room in which he passed away to fix bits and bobs.

Cancer is indeed an absolute c**t of an illness.

[54_and_counting]

absolutely brutal disease, ive seen family members both survive and be taken by it, nothing can prepare you for the news when someone close to you gets it

what the macmillan nurses must see on a daily basis is hard to think about, they do a magnificent job under extreme pressure, when my gran was diagnosed with terminal cancer they came along to help her and ended up helping with my grandad at the time who had dementia in a bad way, my gran always put him first and the macmillan nurses seen that and instead of focusing on her (she wouldnt allow it) they would do stuff for him first

[SlipperyP]

On 7/1/2017 at 15:54, Mr Pikey said:

Thanks guys. She got told last september she had a year. She already had depression for years Worst thing is all her plans have been for dying, none for living which is doing my head in. There's been no making the best of the time she's had left.Every time i go to her smoke filled flat and i see the tv and fire not switched on i want to put a pillow over her face and end her misery.As Fide says you meet people fighting,clawing to cling on to life ,so reading that i realise its probably the depression more than the cancer that's feckin me up.y

I tried to keep away from this thread> However I clicked.Sorry I didn't read the full thread before posting.

Pikey, my heart is with you. Don't do the pillow thing, how much you want/cry this will leave you only for 1 day. The rest of your life is fucked.

As someone posted, help is here. PM me if you want.  

[philpy]

Cancer scares the f**k out of me. My mum is in her 10th year of remission from breast cancer, her sister died from bowel cancer 15 years ago, and her eldest brother had the start of bowel cancer, but did the screening test and caught it early enough. If I have a sore stomach for any more than a couple of days, I seem to worry like f**k. My wife and I have done a few collections for Marie curie over the years, and some of the stories you hear can be very harrowing.

[welshbairn]

17 minutes ago, philpy said:

Cancer scares the f**k out of me. My mum is in her 10th year of remission from breast cancer, her sister died from bowel cancer 15 years ago, and her eldest brother had the start of bowel cancer, but did the screening test and caught it early enough. If I have a sore stomach for any more than a couple of days, I seem to worry like f**k. My wife and I have done a few collections for Marie curie over the years, and some of the stories you hear can be very harrowing.

I don't think regular screening for bowel cancer happens till you're 50, but with your genes I'd ask your GP if you can start early.

[MEADOWXI]

It is hopefully absolutely nothing and my GP is trying to be reassuring. I went last week with a lump in my chest.

I got letters at weekend for a breast examination and a mammogram one after the other a week tomorrow (Different departments and different exams apparently which came as much as a surprise as anything else)

75% of my head is being calm and rational and it's just precaution, the rest is screaming doom and despair.

I appreciate that I in about a week I could be told it was a fuss about nothing but currently having a bit of a headfuck panic not knowing.

[Fide]

It really is important to nip it in the bud as early as you can.

I was fortunate that mine had only spread to my lymph nodes. The NHS were utterly fucking fantastic.  I went from diagnosis to CT scan to surgery to MRI scan to chemo starting all in under 4 weeks.

[Jacksgranda]

1 hour ago, welshbairn said:

I don't think regular screening for bowel cancer happens till you're 50, but with your genes I'd ask your GP if you can start early.

I was 60 before they started testing me.

[Brother Blades]

Wow, some of these stories are not only very harrowing & sad but mainly full of hope & people doing the utmost to make the best of a truly horrific situation. The stories of people being determined to make the best of the last few months / weeks / days or hours are inspirational. I'd urge everyone to patch up any differences with family members as soon as possible, you never know when they'll need you or you'll need them.
I've been very blessed that I've never lost a close family member to this cruel disease. But touching on an earlier few posts- pester your GP if you feel uncertain.
My best friends mum, who worked for the NHS had been visiting her GP for years with a bad back, was eternally told it was muscle related etc etc, my mate called me one day saying his mum had slept for 4hrs in one week- the rest of the time she was in too much pain to sleep. Could I sort out some hash for her - ready rolled. She was completely anti-drugs & wouldn't have known hash from spaghetti. My pal worked away and was unable to sort it himself. I'll never forget the day I delivered it, my immediate reaction was to tell her to go to the doctors as she looked so ill- I hadn't seen her for a couple of months. She was still going with the GP diagnosis of muscle damage. I insisted she went for a second opinion. She did that & got a scan 2 days later. Told she had cancer of the spine & that it had spread to her brain- sadly she died 2 weeks after diagnosis. Get yourself checked regularly folks.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

5 hours ago, Brother Blades said:

I'd urge everyone to patch up any differences with family members as soon as possible, you never know when they'll need you or you'll need them.
 

This.

Another massive comfort when my auld man passed was how well we got on. Don't think I could live with myself if I was holding on to some stupid argument for years and hadn't spoken to him or told him how much I appreciated everything he did for me before he passed.

[BFTD]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

What happened to the hash?

 

[diegomarahenry]

When my mother was diagnosed, I noticed that everyone had a cancer story to tell you once they found out your situation...so here is mine.

My mother was diagnosed with asthma because she was having a shortness of breath, about a year passed and was getting worse, she went to see the doctor again, a different one in the surgery and he questioned the likelihood of someone in their 60's who had smoked from the age of 14 to 58 to develop asthma and sent her for a scan, 3 months later she had her lung removed and a course of chemo. 

She never really got back to anywhere near her self again, she developed a pain in her side that the doctor put down to scar tissue from her operation, it turned out to be secondary bone cancer in her ribs, it had spread through her liver and kidney, she was offered more treatment but knew there was no point in going through chemo for another couple of miserable months. She ended up in a hospice, didn't want to die at home, the last week was soul destroying.  

When she died, everyone had a story about one of their relatives dying, it makes you realise that all this isn't unique to you, you can't be bitter or angry because it isn't just about you, the only unique part is the person and who they were to you. You are never alone because so many people have gone through it before you.

 

[Brother Blades]

What happened to the hash?

Best thread ever to be making jokes.

[welshbairn]

5 minutes ago, Brother Blades said:

Best thread ever to be making jokes.

Smoked it himself.

[dundeefc1783]

Sad news about that young lad Bradley today.

Terrible for anyone to suffer this cruel cruel disease but a 6 year old kid ffs. He will be just one of many.

f**k you cancer [emoji867]

[mizfit]

Sad news about that young lad Bradley today.

Terrible for anyone to suffer this cruel cruel disease but a 6 year old kid ffs. He will be just one of many.

f**k you cancer [emoji867]

I've not paid too much attention to it, but Defoe deserves a lot of respect for what he did for the Bairn. No need to visit him on all those occasions, and yet he did. That interview yesterday where he burst into tears discussing it was something different.

Was a bit of a surprise to see how much publicity it gained. Neuroblastoma is a c**t of an illness.