Skerla Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 The same guy asks folk if they have pished the bed anytime someone comes in earlier than usual, even if it’s only 5 minutes. Wasn’t even funny the first time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 On 12/12/2017 at 10:10, Shotgun said: Hi Shotgun, are you busy? Yes, what do you need? Can I ask you a question? Yes. Can I call you? Yes What's your number? You can't make this shit up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 The arsey shipping/receiving department guy. Me - I ordered a ______________ 4 weeks ago, did it come in yet? Him - (without looking up) No. Me - Can you check the status? Him - Do you have a FedEx tracking number? Me - No. I wasn't sent one or I would have looked myself. Him - Have you looked in the ordering system? Me - No. I would have looked myself if I could. Him - Do you have a PO number? Me - Yes! _________ Him - (Looks at computer) it says it was a missed delivery. Me - When did they attempt delivery? Him - Yesterday at 3:45pm. Me - Was no one here? Him - No. We were closed. Me - At 3:45pm? Can we rearrange delivery? Him - You'll need to call FedEx. Me - Can you call them with a good time for them to arrive? Him - No. I need to watch the dock in case we miss a delivery. Me - C'mon to f**k. What's the FedEx tracking number? Him - (sighs) here. Me - (Calls FedEx) Can we reschedule delivery please? FedEx - OK. Here's the date. Me - (to him) They are going to come tomorrow at 1:30pm. Him - I'll be on lunch. Me - OK. Will anyone else be here? Him - No. Me - Fine. I'll let him in. Him - You're not allowed to. Call FedEx back and rearrange for 1pm instead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 There is about 30 people work in my department and one of these goes round almost every week for a wedding, engagement, landmark birthday, retirement, family death, new baby etc. I've never seen a minimum amount specified though that is a new low. I refuse to contribute now unless I actually like the person and only for wedding or engagement (not both), new babies (max of 3 per person) or retirements. I've become quite talented at the art of envelope flicking. One hand flamboyantly making to put a coin on the top while the other makes a well timed imitation of the coins landing at the bottom of the envelope. Practice makes perfect. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Christmas jumper day. They're all flouncing around with stupid jumpers on and reindeer antler things on their nappers. It's not a fucking party, you're here to work. Think my door will be closed most of today. Shrieking banshees. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 2 hours ago, Rugster said: Christmas jumper day. They're all flouncing around with stupid jumpers on and reindeer antler things on their nappers. It's not a fucking party, you're here to work. Think my door will be closed most of today. Shrieking banshees. Grinch. Thank f**k I don't work with you. Bad enough living with you. I organised my works Christmas jumper day. It was yesterday. We had to take a "whacky" photo to send to head office to try and win a prize. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 22 minutes ago, Honest Saints Fan said: Grinch. Thank f**k I don't work with you. Bad enough living with you. I organised my works Christmas jumper day. It was yesterday. We had to take a "whacky" photo to send to head office to try and win a prize. Clever, so while you were somewhere mid Atlantic? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugna Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 21 hours ago, Jaggy Snake said: When you're just sitting working at your desk and someone walks past and asks "Are you winning?" it always makes me irrationally angry. No, I'm not winning, I'm doing one bit of work before I move onto the next. If you have nothing of interest to say then just don't bother. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 34 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Clever, so while you were somewhere mid Atlantic? Correct. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 19 hours ago, Torpar said: In my last job in Scotland, there was one guy, slightly odd but harmless, chubby lad who smoked a lot. He was collecting money to walk the West Highland Way, as usual I donated nothing. He went off on the Friday with everyone's best wishes, see you in a week. I felt quite bad for thinking 'there is no way he's going to manage this' He came back the next week looking rather sheepish and wasn't too keen on making conversation with anyone. Turns he quit after less than a day because he was tired. As far as I know, no one asked for their money back If I had a quid for every time I'd heard of someone saying they were going to do the West Highland Way only to shite out after a day I wouldn't need to work again. I often wonder what sort of walk these c***s think they're getting themselves in for. It's the fucking highlands ya muppet, it's not a stroll up your local crags. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 3 minutes ago, The Moonster said: If I had a quid for every time I'd heard of someone saying they were going to do the West Highland Way only to shite out after a day I wouldn't need to work again. I often wonder what sort of walk these c***s think they're getting themselves in for. It's the fucking highlands ya muppet, it's not a stroll up your local crags. I assume you’d get a maximum of £10. If this allows you to stop working please share your secret. Preferably with a new thread. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 1 minute ago, Granny Danger said: I assume you’d get a maximum of £10. If this allows you to stop working please share your secret. Preferably with a new thread. Why would you assume that? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Just now, The Moonster said: Why would you assume that? It was an assumption, by definition. I am happy to be corrected by you telling me the actual number. Doesn’t need to be spot on; to the nearest five will do. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Just now, Granny Danger said: It was an assumption, by definition. I am happy to be corrected by you telling me the actual number. Doesn’t need to be spot on; to the nearest five will do. This might surprise you, but I haven't been keeping count, I just used an expression to exaggerate the amount of times I'd heard of people doing that. But, you knew that anyway and this back and forth has just been a massive waste of time, time that you can ill afford to waste, you auld c**t. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Just now, The Moonster said: This might surprise you, but I haven't been keeping count, I just used an expression to exaggerate the amount of times I'd heard of people doing that. But, you knew that anyway and this back and forth has just been a massive waste of time, time that you can ill afford to waste, you auld c**t. If I had a pound for every time I have been called an “auld c**t” on P&B I wouldn’t need to work again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 If I had a pound for every time I have been called an “auld c**t” on P&B I wouldn’t need to work again. Surely you’ve retired? I thought you were about 108? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renton Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 28 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: If I had a pound for every time I have been called an “auld c**t” on P&B I wouldn’t need to work again. Not an issue in the long term, no? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 1 hour ago, renton said: Not an issue in the long term, no? Arguably it's not an issue for any of us in the long term. As it is I intend to retire in just over 4 years unless I win millions on the lottery. So so probably just over 4 years. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Today is officially milfy dressing up day. Can't really complain to be honest. You know the score POGTF! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 (edited) It's my work Christmas nightout tonight. Naturally I'm going and quietly disappearing home at around 11 because by that time the Twilight Zone will be in effect and everyone will be boring and talking nonsense. Edited December 16, 2017 by Richey Edwards 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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