welshbairn Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Miserable c***s who catch the same train every day and won't reassure a stranger who's missed the announcements and the signs running for the train that they're on the right one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 1 hour ago, IainMorton said: Was visiting a relative in Aberdeen a few years ago and on the train back to Glasgow the guy across from me fell asleep. He woke up when the train was at Montrose and realising that was his stop, jumped up and off the train in a hurry. He didn’t realise he had left his shopping behind. It was top gear too, trainers, jeans, tshirts and a cracker of a jacket. Sold it all to a mate. Easy £500. Just as well I never posted that, eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 1 minute ago, supermik said: Just as well I never posted that, eh? Someone had to do it 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 19 hours ago, NotThePars said: Would take some level of skill to get on a wrong plane tbf. I've witnessed it...in the former Yugoslavia coming back from Porec. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 8 hours ago, DA Baracus said: What airport did this supposedly happen at? Why did they not check his ticket? How long ago did this apparently happen? As per my post above...it absolutely happened at Porec Airport in 1988. How - who knows? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 On 18/10/2017 at 08:27, NotThePars said: Would take some level of skill to get on a wrong plane tbf. One Christmas, I got on a different plane to the rest of my family, and ended up in New York instead of Paris. I encountered Donald Trump, a suspicious concierge, and two burglars who had previously attempted to rob my house. Fun trip. Anyway, this morning I had the pleasure of the London Underground at rush hour. I found myself crushed against the wrong door as we pulled into the station, and, although I thought I said “Excuse me”, the look on the guy’s face suggested I actually said “I’m going to steal your wallet, and ram a hot poker up your jap’s eye”. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 (edited) 6 hours ago, Mark Connolly said: One Christmas, I got on a different plane to the rest of my family, and ended up in New York instead of Paris. I encountered Donald Trump, a suspicious concierge, and two burglars who had previously attempted to rob my house. Fun trip. Anyway, this morning I had the pleasure of the London Underground at rush hour. I found myself crushed against the wrong door as we pulled into the station, and, although I thought I said “Excuse me”, the look on the guy’s face suggested I actually said “I’m going to steal your wallet, and ram a hot poker up your jap’s eye”. Probably your accent made it sound like that. Edited October 19, 2017 by Jacksgranda 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 On 18/10/2017 at 16:40, Hillonearth said: A wee guy I used to work with did a legendary missing-your-stop exercise while pished a while back. Out all afternoon, he got on a train to Barrhead about half nine only to wake up in Carlisle two hours later with no chance of a train back and ended up stumbling about after midnight trying to find a B&B that would take him. I've fallen asleep on a train a couple of times and missed the right stop but I've never managed to miss the right country. I nearly ended up in Carlisle once but a very helpful conductor woke me up at Kilmarnock. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 I can add myself to the list of those who have fallen asleep and ended up in Carlisle, granted it was over 10 years ago. It was the last train from Central on a Sunday night and I’d had a fairly heavy weekend on the drink. Phone call to my Mum at 1am to drive through from Dumfries didn’t go down too well, although I did get a cup of tea off the nightshift station manager. Drunkenly left my laptop on an Aberdeen to Edinburgh train when I got off to change at Haymarket. Realised before I got my connection and jumped on the next train to Waverley, where I got a bollocking off the transport police for leaving a bag unattended on the train with it being a security risk. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteRoseKillie Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 I fell asleep on the train from London to Gatwick once nearly forty years ago, and ended up at Brighton with buggerall money, and a non-transferable ticket on British Cally's Glasgow flight leaving in about, oh, too fucking soon. Just made it (as the same train was reurning imminently), but the experience imparted a life-long paranoia about public transport and consciousness. Basically, find a long enough railway track and I'm confident I could stay awake for a week or more. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 13 minutes ago, WhiteRoseKillie said: Basically, find a long enough railway track and I'm confident I could stay awake for a week or more. You could always try the Indian Pacific at 4,352 kms and 4 days travel before progressing to theTrans Siberian Express. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteRoseKillie Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 9 minutes ago, Eednud said: You could always try the Indian Pacific at 4,352 kms and 4 days travel before progressing to theTrans Siberian Express. No problem at all. I get the feeling there's a few one-horse halts along the way you wouldn't want to end up at - A bit like those cycle rides in my youth when you'd end up in the likes of Maybole or Patna. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 I fell asleep on the train from London to Gatwick once nearly forty years ago, and ended up at Brighton with buggerall money, and a non-transferable ticket on British Cally's Glasgow flight leaving in about, oh, too fucking soon. Just made it (as the same train was reurning imminently), but the experience imparted a life-long paranoia about public transport and consciousness. Basically, find a long enough railway track and I'm confident I could stay awake for a week or more. I've done that trip to Brighton three times. Also once to Watford, and once to Eastbourne, while aiming for Clapham Junction.The Eastbourne one was a 2 and a half hour trip, which required an overnight stay. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Always mind my cousin telling me how he fell asleep after leaving Inverness. Woke up in Pitlochry, assumed it was Perth and got off the train. He ended up having to get a taxi down to Perth because of this drunken mistake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomp my root Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Apologies in advance, drinking heavily tomorrow and on the choo choo's. Unlikely to be be a total cvnt but might take the odd excursion to the land of cvnt from time to time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 On the choo choo's what? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 1 hour ago, chomp my root said: Apologies in advance, drinking heavily tomorrow and on the choo choo's. Unlikely to be be a total cvnt but might take the odd excursion to the land of cvnt from time to time. The kids are in for a leathering when you stroll back in the door. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donathan Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 One Christmas, I got on a different plane to the rest of my family, and ended up in New York instead of Paris. I encountered Donald Trump, a suspicious concierge, and two burglars who had previously attempted to rob my house. Fun trip. Anyway, this morning I had the pleasure of the London Underground at rush hour. I found myself crushed against the wrong door as we pulled into the station, and, although I thought I said “Excuse me”, the look on the guy’s face suggested I actually said “I’m going to steal your wallet, and ram a hot poker up your jap’s eye”. Florida. Paris was the first film mate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 1 minute ago, Donathan said: Florida. Paris was the first film mate. What film? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 14 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said: The kids are in for a leathering when you stroll back in the door. FTFY 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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