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C**** on a Train


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2 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said:

It wouldn't be the first time I've woken up at Neilston and had to get a taxi back to Patterton after a night out.  I've since taken to standing up if I think there's a chance of me falling asleep on the train home now.

My record is from before the new line to Edinburgh opened. I got on heading to Drumgelloch and woke up in Singer. I had slept all the way to Drumgelloch, back through Queen Street to Helensburgh and was on my way back again. Since it opened I've done Bathgate and Edinburgh Park a few times. Usually in drink, but managed sober as well.

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I wish I had stayed on beyond my stop once.
Went shopping / boozing in Aberdeen, ended up meeting a few guys I used to work with and it ended up a fairly late one, got to the station in Aberdeen & boarded, fell asleep somewhere between there & Montrose (my stop), when the train was stationery in Montrose I woke up, panicked & just managed to jump off the train before the doors closed. Happy days! Went for a quick pint before closing time & realised I had left all my shopping on the train. 3 pairs of trainers, 4 T-shirts, a pair of jeans & a jacket all gone. Phoned Scotrail to see if they'd been handed in- nope! Basically a £500 train journey.☹️

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A wee guy I used to work with did a legendary missing-your-stop exercise while pished a while back. Out all afternoon, he got on  a train to Barrhead about half nine only to wake up in Carlisle two hours later with no chance of a train back and ended up stumbling about after midnight trying to find a B&B that would take him.

I've fallen asleep on a train a couple of times and missed the right stop but I've never managed to miss the right country.

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Just now, Hillonearth said:

A wee guy I used to work with did a legendary missing-your-stop exercise while pished a while back. Out all afternoon, he got on  a train to Barrhead about half nine only to wake up in Carlisle two hours later with no chance of a train back and ended up stumbling about after midnight trying to find a B&B that would take him.

I've fallen asleep on a train a couple of times and missed the right stop but I've never managed to miss the right country.

Been from Chester to Shrewbury and back sleeping through Wales both times where I was supposed to get off. That was after drinking from Inverness.

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Would take some level of skill to get on a wrong plane tbf.

Guy I know got on the Aberdeen plane when he wanted to get the Shetland one. To top it all off, his luggage landed in Stornoway. Sounds far-fetched, but the guy was a magnet for daft situations.
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1 hour ago, Hampden Diehard said:


Guy I know got on the Aberdeen plane when he wanted to get the Shetland one. To top it all off, his luggage landed in Stornoway. Sounds far-fetched, but the guy was a magnet for daft situations.

What airport did this supposedly happen at? Why did they not check his ticket? How long ago did this apparently happen?

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Changed trains at Wigan yesterday (after missed connection to Manchester caused by "slippery rails ... wtf".

Joined this thing around 10:15 that had come from Glasgow to find it over populated with Celtic fans belting out an array of witty ditties for the amusement of fellow travellers.  Can do without c***s like that well on the road to "smashed" whilst I'm still trying to get to my work.  Their one redeeming feature was the extensive use of MD20/20 as their fuel for the day. A nice nod towards a dying tradition.

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Was visiting a relative in Aberdeen a few years ago and on the train back to Glasgow the guy across from me fell asleep. He woke up when the train was at Montrose and realising that was his stop, jumped up and off the train in a hurry. He didn’t realise he had left his shopping behind. It was top gear too, trainers, jeans, tshirts and a cracker of a jacket. Sold it all to a mate. Easy £500.

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Years ago I was "enjoying" the journey home from Scotland's finest university to Thurso via the railway. Drunk guy on the Inverness/Far North train, staggering up and down the train being a c**t on a train and continually shouting his head off about Bonar Bridge.

So, being helpful, we directed him to get off at Ardgay (no euphemism) as that's the Bonar Bridge stop.

About half an hour later (and about 5 miles further on probably (slowest train journey in the world in those days 4 1/2 hours from Inverness to Thurso)) guard wanders up and asks if we've seen said drunk.

"Aye we put him off at Ardgay for BB"

"Aw f**k, he's going to Wick and I was told to make sure he got there ok!"

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Seen exactly that happen earlier this year, there was a guy and his burd heading home to Dundee from Edinburgh, they had however got on the Inverness train rather than the Dundee/Aberdeen one. She was not amused when it was realised they would have to get off at Kirkcaldy and wait there for the train they had meant to get on. :lol::lol:


If anyone ever says to me “does this train go to X location?” I just say yes automatically.
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3 minutes ago, Raidernation said:

Years ago I was "enjoying" the journey home from Scotland's finest university to Thurso via the railway. Drunk guy on the Inverness/Far North train, staggering up and down the train being a c**t on a train and continually shouting his head off about Bonar Bridge.

So, being helpful, we directed him to get off at Ardgay (no euphemism) as that's the Bonar Bridge stop.

About half an hour later (and about 5 miles further on probably (slowest train journey in the world in those days 4 1/2 hours from Inverness to Thurso)) guard wanders up and asks if we've seen said drunk.

"Aye we put him off at Ardgay for BB"

"Aw f**k, he's going to Wick and I was told to make sure he got there ok!"

Still 4 hours at least, you can drive in 2, 2 1/2. There's a really snotty guardess on it who would throw you off for for not having a doily under your can. South African accent.

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