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C**** on a Train


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I lose about 40 minutes a year getting some cùnt to open the gate because my weekly or monthly ticket won't open it. It all counts at my age.



Ah season ticket. That's understandable. No idea why those don't work at the barriers. Given the busiest times are in the morning and the majority of commuters will have season tickets you'd think getting those to work would be a priority.
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3 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said:

How would the people on the platform know what was your correct train?

Maybe they could read the sign hanging round his neck that says he's so stupid he can't work out from which platform a train is departing so he requires guidance. I presume he has one of those. If not he should. 

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1 hour ago, GordonD said:

They could ask. "Where are you travelling to, sir? Edinburgh? That train there." <points>

Hello sir, have you been unable to follow the simple signs and tannoy announcements indicating which one is the train you've purchased a ticket for?  If so, I'm your Scotrail appointed dolt herder. 

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34 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

Hello sir, have you been unable to follow the simple signs and tannoy announcements indicating which one is the train you've purchased a ticket for?  If so, I'm your Scotrail appointed dolt herder. 

My version would be quicker. 

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1 hour ago, Rugster said:

Maybe they could read the sign hanging round his neck that says he's so stupid he can't work out from which platform a train is departing so he requires guidance. I presume he has one of those. If not he should. 

The big pointy hats with the letter 'D' on them that they wear should make them easily identifiable to staff

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3 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:

 

 


Ah season ticket. That's understandable. No idea why those don't work at the barriers. Given the busiest times are in the morning and the majority of commuters will have season tickets you'd think getting those to work would be a priority.

 

 

Is it a Union thing? Like having to have an extra person to open the doors when the driver has a button?

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Getting the train from Kilwinning up to Central and there are about 4 or 5 an hour.

Every train used to stop at Paisley GS, but this changed a couple of years ago and some of the Ayr-Glasgow trains go from Kilwinning to Central without stopping (missing about seven stations),

Despite platform annoucements, platform screens and plenty of info stating this is a direct service to Glasgow Central, without stops you still get idiots getting on trains then arguing with the TE that they need the train to stop at Paisley GS. Even enjoyed listening to the idiot lecturing the TE that every train had to stop at Paisley, because 1 - They used to and 2 - It's a big station and she wanted off.

The cabaret of idiots/c***s on trains can sometimes almost be worth the fare itself.

Edited by MEADOWXI
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I'm 52. I've never managed to miss a train or plane nor got on the wrong one either at any time. Seems like I'm an oddity based on what I read here.


You've clearly not tried train travel while pissed out your head.
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1 hour ago, hk blues said:

I'm 52. I've never managed to miss a train or plane nor got on the wrong one either at any time. Seems like I'm an oddity based on what I read here.

There's quite a lot of scope for it in the south side of Glasgow with stations named Pollokshields East and West and Pollokshaws East and West in addition to two lines that go to Neilston and Newton respectively.

I reckon most folk who travel there have got on the wrong one at some point. When you do, the correct procedure is to admit you've made an arse of it, get off at the next station and cross to the other platform...not like the braying English punter I think I mentioned earlier in this thread who made the Neilston/Newton mistake and kept on insisting Scotrail had got it wrong all the way to Croftfoot, upon which he flounced off the train heading up the hill towards Castlemilk in search of a taxi to take him to Whitecraigs...

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4 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I always get the right train. Getting off it at the right place is the hard bit.

It wouldn't be the first time I've woken up at Neilston and had to get a taxi back to Patterton after a night out.  I've since taken to standing up if I think there's a chance of me falling asleep on the train home now.

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1 hour ago, MEADOWXI said:

Getting the train from Kilwinning up to Central and there are about 4 or 5 an hour.

Every train used to stop at Paisley GS, but this changed a couple of years ago and some of the Ayr-Glasgow trains go from Kilwinning to Central without stopping (missing about seven stations),

Despite platform annoucements, platform screens and plenty of info stating this is a direct service to Glasgow Central, without stops you still get idiots getting on trains then arguing with the TE that they need the train to stop at Paisley GS. Even enjoyed listening to the idiot lecturing the TE that every train had to stop at Paisley, because 1 - They used to and 2 - It's a big station and she wanted off.

The cabaret of idiots/c***s on trains can sometimes almost be worth the fare itself.

When i first started working in Glasgow again after about 5/6 years of not doing so this caught me out the first time i did an early shift (and then once more 4 months later which there is no excuse for :lol:

Fortunately there is train heading back up from Kilwinning only about 5 minutes later

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Sometimes Scotrail do cock it up. I was once waiting for the train from Glasgow QS back to Edinburgh. The train was at the platform but the doors were locked, so we all stood around waiting until finally one of the station staff came along and announced that the train was cancelled because of a technical fault, and told us to get on the next one (which was on the adjacent platform). So we all squeezed aboard and the train set off, and the conductor came on and announced it was the train for Edinburgh and the first stop was Falkirk High. Which came as something of a surprise to all the people who'd been going to Croy on the original train - though there's one every fifteen minutes only alternate ones stop at Croy, and the new one didn't. Shame the guy on the platform hadn't thought of that when he told us to get on board...

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I did get on the wrong train once. In my defence I was 15 at the time, I did notice that the board was displaying 'front 3 coaches' and I did go beyond the sign saying 'Front train beyond this point' - however I wasn't aware that there were in fact three trains at the platform, meaning I got on the second from the front. That one was Scotrail's fault IMO, not my fault they had the sign for the front train in the wrong place. It was also an old train which had no boards displaying the destination.

As a general rule though, people who get on trains then ask you where it's going when it's the only one at a platform, there's an announcement telling you where it's going and a display telling you where it's going can f**k off. I've even seen people do this getting on at Gourock, asking if the train goes to Glasgow: all trains from Gourock go to Glasgow.

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