Hillonearth Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Wee wifie yesterday who stood up mega-early and tried to passively-aggressively dictate who else could reach the doorway until the train stopped by standing at the end of the aisle trying to block it. Few folk obviously in a hurry to get off nudged by her to get through - she starts demonstratively and furiously posting on some social media platform, unfortunately in huge font that I could read over her shoulder... "I forgot just how many arseholes use public transport..." From directly behind her I said "Aye, seems to be one more arsehole than usual this morning..." It's amazing how you can feel someone taking a beamer sometimes without seeing their face. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 21 minutes ago, Rugster said: Did you give the chauffeur the day off? Aye, I gave him the morning off. Something about his wife's funeral. I wasn't really listening. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: Aye, I gave him the morning off. Something about his wife's funeral. I wasn't really listening. What funeral takes the whole morning? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 4 minutes ago, GordonD said: What funeral takes the whole morning? I'm not a monster. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Wee wifie yesterday who stood up mega-early and tried to passively-aggressively dictate who else could reach the doorway until the train stopped by standing at the end of the aisle trying to block it. Few folk obviously in a hurry to get off nudged by her to get through - she starts demonstratively and furiously posting on some social media platform, unfortunately in huge font that I could read over her shoulder... "I forgot just how many arseholes use public transport..." From directly behind her I said "Aye, seems to be one more arsehole than usual this morning..." It's amazing how you can feel someone taking a beamer sometimes without seeing their face. I mind standing at Perth station waiting on a train to Glasgow, train came up and a woman came jumping off with a stick smacking me in the chest with it as she tried to be the first off. No one else was getting off the train apart from her.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy boo Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Not left Ayr station yet and some c**t has opened a family size bag of crisps and wolfing them down on the noisiest way possible. Two rows in front but im still seething grrrrrr. Thank f**k I'm off at Troon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 37 minutes ago, jimmy boo said: Not left Ayr station yet and some c**t has opened a family size bag of crisps and wolfing them down on the noisiest way possible. Two rows in front but im still seething grrrrrr. Thank f**k I'm off at Troon. Euphemism? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H Wragg Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 c***s that hedge their bets when queuing for the barriers at Central in the morning. Pick a queue and go with it, c**t. Queues are far longer than necessary due to the amount of complete amateurs who wait for the gate to completely close behind the person in front before putting their ticket in the slot/holding their smartcard on the reader. Fannies. I really should post this in PTTGOYN. Folk in London ken the score. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Queues are far longer than necessary due to the amount of complete amateurs who wait for the gate to completely close behind the person in front before putting their ticket in the slot/holding their smartcard on the reader. Fannies. I really should post this in PTTGOYN. Folk in London ken the score. A number of people struggle with the green arrow or red cross at the gates 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Queues are far longer than necessary due to the amount of complete amateurs who wait for the gate to completely close behind the person in front before putting their ticket in the slot/holding their smartcard on the reader. Fannies. I really should post this in PTTGOYN. Folk in London ken the score. Also add folk with those trailing wheelie bag things that manage to get them stuck in the doors. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Got the train from Birnam to Perth last Saturday. It was busy with almost no seats, except the ones in the vestibule. Imagine my anger when I saw that folk had, very selfishly, put large suitcases in front of said seats. I moved one of of the way and sat down in the seat. As we were approaching Perth the conductor came along, and revealed that it was in fact HER who stacked the cases in front of the seats. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 22 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Got the train from Birnam to Perth last Saturday. It was busy with almost no seats, except the ones in the vestibule. Imagine my anger when I saw that folk had, very selfishly, put large suitcases in front of said seats. I moved one of of the way and sat down in the seat. As we were approaching Perth the conductor came along, and revealed that it was in fact HER who stacked the cases in front of the seats. Why? Health & Safety??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 On the subject of the barriers at Central, if your ticket doesn't work get the f**k out of the way 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 (edited) I got a train from montrose to dundee last week. As I alighted I realised there was a blob of chewing gum stuck to my arse. Some dirty c**t had spat their chewing gum onto the seat. I was wearing a brand new pair of jeans and I was worried that they were fucked but i managed to remove the gum by scraping it off with my Swiss army knife then rubbing coconut oil into the sticky residue before throwing them in the washing machine. What kind of mink spits chewing gum onto a seat? Edited August 18, 2017 by tongue_tied_danny -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 3 minutes ago, tongue_tied_danny said: I got a train from montrose to dundee last week. As I alighted I realised there was a blob of chewing gum stuck to my arse. Some dirty c**t had spat their chewing gum onto the seat. I was wearing a brand new pair of jeans and I was worried that they were fucked but i managed to remove the gum by scraping it off with my Swiss army knife then rubbing coconut oil into the sticky residue before throwing them in the washing machine. What kind of mink spits chewing gum onto a seat? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 I got a train from montrose to dundee last week. As I alighted I realised there was a blob of chewing gum stuck to my arse. Some dirty c**t had spat their chewing gum onto the seat. I was wearing a brand new pair of jeans and I was worried that they were fucked but i managed to remove the gum by scraping it off with my Swiss army knife then rubbing coconut oil into the sticky residue before throwing them in the washing machine. What kind of mink spits chewing gum onto a seat? The same type of people that steal cheese probably. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Tout P'ti FC Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 The guy on the Queen St train this morning trying to pass off yesterday's ticket and asking to leave a promissory note for payment can get right to f**k. Total arsehole. Big man he was swearing at the staff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooky Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 On the subject of the barriers at Central, if your ticket doesn't work get the f**k out of the way If you put it through once and it makes that beeping noise and the barrier stays shut, trying it five more fucking times won't suddenly make your ticket valid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lichtie78 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiepiemuncher Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 He's being considerate, rubbing your birds tits with your shoes on leaves dirty marks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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