DA Baracus Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Based on a couple of posts in the PTTGOYN thread that described how folk in the workplace had an utter lack of IT skills I thought a thread should be started for folk to detail such incidents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Anyone who doesnt plain text paste is a fucking imbecile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Brightside Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 We had a survey in work about how competent people believed themselves to be with regards to computers. Someone ticked that they didn't know how to use a search engine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Anyone that calls the Internet the Information Super Highway is no doubt a beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 Just now, Cerberus said: Anyone that calls the Internet the Information Super Highway is no doubt a beast. Surely no one has done this since 1995 at the latest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growl3th Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 5 minutes ago, Mr. Brightside said: We had a survey in work about how competent people believed themselves to be with regards to computers. Someone ticked that they didn't know how to use a search engine. I bet they Googled that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 A guy once complained to me that his PC wasn't working properly. It turned out he had a fridge magnet stuck on the front of the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I was once training an elderly woman how to use the software on a PC in the shop she managed. In between floods of tears that she was going to lose her job because she didn't know computers (she thought being in the same room as one would break it). I very patiently asked her to point the mouse at an area of the screen. She picked up the mouse and started jabbing the screen with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growl3th Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Just now, Cardinal Richelieu said: I was once training an elderly woman how to use the software on a PC in the shop she managed. In between floods of tears that she was going to lose her job because she didn't know computers (she thought being in the same room as one would break it). I very patiently asked her to point the mouse at an area of the screen. She picked up the mouse and started jabbing the screen with it. Not uncommon. "Move the mouse up" Lifts it 6 inches! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BallochSonsFan Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I have a recurring daydream that I can one day go full Office Space on our useless printers and fix their jams permanently with a baseball bat and some not so gentle persuasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Prior to passwords I once decided to hack off a colleague whilst he was off making coffee by changing his font colour to white. He came back to his PC and opened a document and proceeded to edit to no avail, he then phoned IT and they said someone will be there in a minute. My colleague, totally stressed by the whole affair, fucked off to make another coffee, this gave me time to change the font back to black therefore giving him a beamer when the guy from IT turned up to assess the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pearbuyerbell Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 4 minutes ago, Zen Archer said: Prior to passwords I once decided to hack off a colleague whilst he was off making coffee by changing his font colour to white. He came back to his PC and opened a document and proceeded to edit to no avail, he then phoned IT and they said someone will be there in a minute. My colleague, totally stressed by the whole affair, fucked off to make another coffee, this gave me time to change the font back to black therefore giving him a beamer when the guy from IT turned up to assess the problem. That wasn't very nice, Zen. You're the sort of person that deserves unemployment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Just now, Pearbuyerbell said: That wasn't very nice, Zen. You're the sort of person that deserves unemployment. Every time I check my lottery tickets I pray for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 To be fair, punters like that are what make working in an office worthwhile. Even the old ones are new to some folk - screenshotting someone's desktop and saving it as background for that frozen screen effect, ctrl + alt + down arrow to flip the screen and so on. The cruellest one we did was to a wifie that somehow had no idea how to send an email to the whole organisation regarding a missing file or whatever - couple of us set it up for her and stuck a read receipt on it. She ended up with about 4-500 receipts that she was going in, reading and deleting one by one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 17 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: On the flip side of this, IT c***s (usually with ponytails) that when you ask them to make sure a certain piece of software will be carried over and available on the centrally controlled desktop say shite like "well I'm going to have to write a new batch file to auto create a .ini file each time someone logs in then I'll have to...." Fucking shut up and just make sure it works. I don't care how you get it to work. I have no interest in your batch files. These are the words of a man who has worked for a local authority and had to contact their no doubt shambolic IT section at least once. 4 minutes ago, Hillonearth said: To be fair, punters like that are what make working in an office worthwhile. Even the old ones are new to some folk - screenshotting someone's desktop and saving it as background for that frozen screen effect, ctrl + alt + down arrow to flip the screen and so on. The cruellest one we did was to a wifie that somehow had no idea how to send an email to the whole organisation regarding a missing file or whatever - couple of us set it up for her and stuck a read receipt on it. She ended up with about 4-500 receipts that she was going in, reading and deleting one by one... That's a favourite in my workplace. Other surprisingly effective efforts include waiting till someone goes for a pish and prising off the "E" and "I" keys then swapping them round. Simple, but incredibly effective. Shite IT is a bit of a hot topic here just now. We've had months of our now ex-CE insisting that we will be fully digital by 2020. This has of course been a total fucking shambles so far as it is nigh on impossible to electronically submit travel claims, get copies of your payslips etc without some sort of major error which seemingly no one knows how to fix. This amusingly resulted in the quietest girl in the office suddenly going absolutely fucking spare because she was unable to access her p60 which she needed for some form or other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 If he posts on here then I'm probably outing myself as I go on about it all the time but a 37 year old in my work (worked in an office for about 9 years) didn't know what copy and paste was until this year. We have to do these reports on word and then input them into another system. We've done these for years and, whilst not big reports, its still maybe a one-pager. Anyway the system we input them into isn't stable enough to use so its better to type them on word and c+p into the system so that if it crashes you don't lose it. One day I was watching him type it twice and I just laughed and said "use copy and paste mate" and he nodded and I thought nothing more of it. Maybe a couple of months later I spotted him doing it again and I asked him why he didn't use copy and paste. He, at this stage after 9 years, said to me "I don't know what you mean by that". When I showed him he said something along the lines of "That'll be a massive timesaver, where did you learn how to do that?" Still boggles my mind to this day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 #sandwichvan For those not working in an Aberdeen office that particular day (and don't read national tabloid trash): a local receptionist forwarded a rather sexual email chain between her and her fiancé as part of a large company-wide "sandwich van is here" lunch time email. How she actually managed to do that is still beyond me, but pretty much everybody in Aberdeenshire had a forwarded version of it in their inbox within the hour. They now live in Liverpool after resigning from their jobs and running from the scene after becoming more recognisable than Annie Lennox and Alex Ferguson. If I remember correctly, I initially got it forwarded from a guy working in Baku. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I remember an older woman at the NHS in tears because they replaced a custom Access database that they had used since the early 00s with some expensive, web based piece of shit which was about 10 times slower, more complicated and frequently crashed. She started greetin' because it's shittiness made her so far behind in her work and stressed out trying to catch up. She retired about a month later. Progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 43 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: On the flip side of this, IT c***s (usually with ponytails) that when you ask them to make sure a certain piece of software will be carried over and available on the centrally controlled desktop say shite like "well I'm going to have to write a new batch file to auto create a .ini file each time someone logs in then I'll have to...." Fucking shut up and just make sure it works. I don't care how you get it to work. I have no interest in your batch files. On the other side of this, folk who refuse to believe that something IT-related isn't possible. I had a boss who wouldn't believe that Windows programs wouldn't work on DOS systems (the old text-based machines, for those too young to remember), to the point that he took on a contract based on me managing to get Office 97 working on a free version of DOS, despite being warned it wasn't going to happen. Ended up furious that I "wouldn't" get it up and running for him, and spent a week trying to do it himself. No idea how he managed to get himself out of it, but I assume it involved his boss being told I was shite in some way Anyway, check out The Daily WTF for a nice dose of fucked-up IT stories; some will fly over a lot of heads, but there are plenty of good "they were using the CD drive as a mug holder!" type tales too. This one will be of particular interest to @KnightswoodBear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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