IT Fails/Lack of IT skills in the workplace

[Le Tout P'ti FC]

Any attempts to enforce "corporate image". Recent debacle being around whether to mandate two character spaces after a full stop on internal documents.

I go with the two spaces myself but I fail to see how use of one space would be "unprofessional".

It's character forming.

[Stu]

55 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said:

Mentioned these before,

Quite a few years ago worked in the Admin side of DSS.

Every morning a senior manager used to arrive with large bundles of paper. these were normally 5 or 6 bundles of 20 to 40 pages each and each bundle would have a small note attached to the top with a list of managers that were to receive a copy of the bundle. These were handed to an admin assistant to photocopy and distribute.

It was later when I was talking to her in her office one morning I discovered that she was printing an email and the attachments and this was each bundle. She didn't know how to forward a message and this was easier.

Another manager in the same organisation was starting to make the whole email system for the UK grind to a halt as she had never deleted any sent or received message in about 12 years

Someone at work's dad did something until a few months ago. Didn't realise you could forward an e-mail so would print off the original, scan it then attach the scan to a new e-mail.

[GordonD]

Clueless bosses are fun. I once created an Excel spreadsheet for mine to take to a meeting. I handed him a 3.5" floppy disk with the spreadsheet and a second blank disk in case he needed it for other files produced at the meeting. He asked me which was which (I couldn't find any labels). Now the one with the spreadsheet had the write-protect slider on, but I told him the one with the information was heavier than the blank one. He actually stood there for about ten seconds with a disk in each hand, trying to find a difference in weight, until my colleague took pity on him and told him I was taking the piss.

Another time we heard that the company's recruitment section, based in Newcastle, had contracted a virus on their system. It turned out that the manager of that department - who had been in charge of the kitchens until they were outsourced - had been sent a disk by a friend. When he tried to load it onto his PC the virus protection blocked it. So he deactivated the protection and loaded the disk anyway.

For the ultimate revenge on clueless bosses, though, see this one:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/12/04/sysadmins_100000_revenge_after_sudden_sacking/

[GordonD]

Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

1992, there, people. 

Yes, that sounds about right.

[Brother Blades]

Not sure if true or urban myth.... I remember a story about one provincial police station who were required to fax some documents to the constabulary headquarters & after receiving the same documents 7 or 8 times, HQ contacted the other station to see if there was a problem with the fax machine to be told "aye there is, I've sent this loads of time but it's not sending, it just spits the paper out the opposite side..."

[Boghead ranter]

2 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

Ah, the good old days of the ball mouse, where we got hours of entertainment out of removing the ball from a mouse belonging to one particular luddite in our work.  He got all smug when we were upgraded to laser mouses, not realising that we could achieve the same result by putting a piece of tape over the laser bit.

One particularly boring late shift I decided to cover the same luddite's stuff in wee stickers that I'd found.  He was an 8am start the next day, and apparently he went radge as he didn't know what any of the keys on his keyboard or phone were, so couldn't 'clock in' or anything so had been accused of being late.

How I laughed, as I was sitting receiving a verbal warning the next day.

[Hedgecutter]

Despite the continual warning emails, we'll frequently get someone printing a standard document to the plotter, often on satin paper.

 

A0, fit to page? Sounds fine.

[RiG]

10 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

#sandwichvan

 

For those not working in an Aberdeen office that particular day (and don't read national tabloid trash): a local receptionist forwarded a rather sexual email chain between her and her fiancé as part of a large company-wide "sandwich van is here" lunch time email. How she actually managed to do that is still beyond me, but pretty much everybody in Aberdeenshire had a forwarded version of it in their inbox within the hour. They now live in Liverpool after resigning from their jobs and running from the scene after becoming more recognisable than Annie Lennox and Alex Ferguson. If I remember correctly, I initially got it forwarded from a guy working in Baku.

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 11:59
To: Andy Dare; Cristina Magalhaes; David McLoughlin; Gordon Brown; Jillian Barbour; Kirsty Greig; Michelle Murray; Stephen Bertram; Stuart Reid; Tom Campbell; Alan Shanks; Alan Woodhouse; Aleksandra Moskal; Alison Cruickshank; Alison Kydd; Anna Szymanska; Barry Murphy; Bethan Starling; Bill Sandison; Brian Ogilvie; Bruce Webster; Caroline Wyness; Chloe Grigor; Chris Blake; Christian Bell; Christy Annand; Clark Christie; Daniel Paul; Darren Logan; David Buirds; David Condon; David Gault; David Kerr; Deborah Bowman; Don Cahill; Doug Mcintosh; Ekene Ogbechie; Emma Rhodes; Eric Knisz; Gail Reaper; Gavin Rorison; George Emney; Gillian Laing; Graeme Morrice; Grant Morton; Helen Richardson; Ian Herd; Jayne Rogerson; Jerry Starling; Jill Sangster; Jillian McLeod; John Massie; Julian Jenkins; Karen Morrice; Karen Pattinson; Lanre Raheem; Laura Fewster; Laura Strachan; Lee Raper; Leoni Black; Lorraine Wilson; Malcolm Smith; Manoj Gaur; Marcia Doig; Mark Brown; Matthew Damm; Matthew Farquhar; Mike Groden; Mitar Sekulic; Murtala Omale; Nikki Wood; Niyi Balogun; Paul McKnight; Philip Bradbury; Randolph Amenudzi; Richard Ferguson; Richard Milne; Robert McLaren; Rory Mearns; Samantha Thomson; Sarah Cruickshank; Simon Belshaw; Simon Mackland; Simon Seymour; Steve Taylor; Steven Hislop; teresa mackenzie; Vitalija Rumbutyte; William Smith
Subject: RE:

 

Sandwich van is here.xx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 11:42
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

I loved our session last night…..it was ace!

 

You were very very wet!

 

You are sexy as anything and I love it! xxxx

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 11:39
To: Eric Knisz
Subject: RE:

 

As I do you you handsome,sexy husband.xxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 11:35
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

I adores ya you sexy mofo xxxxx

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 11:25
To: Eric Knisz
Subject: RE:

 

I loves you too darling.

 

310 days till our wedding.xxxxxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 11:03
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

I loves ya you know….if you were wondering!! xxxxx

 

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 10:41
To: Eric Knisz
Subject: RE:

 

Eh no….we will do it together soon enough.

 

I am actually going to look at more wedding invites,favours and flowers. I am going to trawl heaps of these items to get ours sorted.

xxxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 10:39
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

Well, I’m sure you will be blazing at some point this weekend love, so you can just head into work and sleep on your desk! xxxx

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 10:39
To: Eric Knisz
Subject: RE:

 

I know…..I think we need to rectify this Jxxxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 10:38
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

You haven’t been into work like that for ages xxxx

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 10:37
To: Eric Knisz
Subject: RE:

 

Random email…….so I’m watching this morning and after they won their NTA last night Phillip and Holly look like pish and both have stinking hangovers……I’m glad I’m not the only one who goes to work in this state J Jxxxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 10:04
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

I love making love to you its ace!!!! xxxx

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 09:56
To: Eric Knisz
Subject: RE:

 

Good….cause I totally fancy you.xxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 09:51
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

Hee hee, sexy f*cker, I fancy you xxxx

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 09:51
To: Eric Knisz
Subject: RE:

 

No nae really.xxxxxxxxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

 

 

From: Eric Knisz 
Sent: 24 January 2013 09:48
To: Reception
Subject: RE:

 

Douche…..really? xxxx

 

From: Reception 
Sent: 24 January 2013 09:48
To: Eric Knisz
Subject:

 

Yo….douche….what you saying?xxxx

 

Kind regards, 

Melanie Anderson

Receptionist                                                        

Integrated Subsea Services Ltd  

Andrews Survey

Ocean Spirit House

33,Waterloo Quay

Aberdeen

AB11 5BS

 

Tel:           (01224) 857711 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Fax:          (01224) 857777 (Integrated Subsea Services Ltd)

Tel:          (01224) 256888 (Andrews Survey)

Fax:         (01224) 857777 (Andrews Survey)

Direct:     (01224) 857721

Email:     reception@integratedsubsea.co.uk      

    

Please consider the environment - only print this e-mail if absolutely necessary thank you!

[Swarley]

Classic IT f**k up at work today. They implemented a brand new case management system this morning but had to switch it off and roll back everything within a couple of hours.

 

The system is email based so when you raise a case via a webform it emails an auto response.

 

However if you have your auto reply/out of office on then the system thought you were raising a new issue and would send you another email which would trigger your out of office reply which created a new case repeat until the end of time!

 

 

[KiwiDB]

4 hours ago, milton75 said:

I'm of the view that both are shit.

Don't get me wrong, Outlook isnt great but it's way better than Notes.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

12 minutes ago, Swarley said:

Classic IT f**k up at work today. They implemented a brand new case management system this morning but had to switch it off and roll back everything within a couple of hours.

 

The system is email based so when you raise a case via a webform it emails an auto response.

 

However if you have your auto reply/out of office on then the system thought you were raising a new issue and would send you another email which would trigger your out of office reply which created a new case repeat until the end of time!

 

 

On a side note, my mate who is going back to uni asked me to be a guarantor for the flat he is planning to rent for the year. No problem said I ... wish I hadn't bothered. It would be less effort to make a new friend. So far I've had to:

• Fill out a very long application form (I've had mortgage and job applications take less time). Some fields aren't clear, and clicking the help icon beside a field directs you to a blank webpage. 
• Give TWO phone numbers. Generously the fax number field wasn't mandatory. 
• Fill out an insane amount of detail about my job history and where I've lived. And provide proof of my salary and a reference. 
• Agree to a credit check
• At the end of the form.. "untick this box if you don't want to hear about some great insurance offers we can send you". Did so after getting my head around the double negative. 
• Once submitted, my boss had to fill out another form and confirm my salary.
• Next I had to sign a document agreeing to it all (thankfully, I can do this digitally)
• Now they want proof of address and a scanned passport

My reward for doing all this? A spam email (which bypassed my spam filter, doubtless cos it was addressed directly to me) not long after I submitted the initial form, telling me all about the great insurance products they offer. 

Utter arseholes. I've already written them a terse complaint email (that'll show 'em), but I'll wait until my mate actually gets the fecking place before I go postal. 

[parsforlife]

3 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/nov/14/186m-needless-emails-nhs-wide-test-message-and-replies-to-all-crash-system

As funny as this is, I guess part of the problem is that people assume that people know IT basics - such as the difference between REPLY and REPLY ALL, and therefore nobody ever gets trained on it. 

To be fair nobody should need trained in such things, after all we don't teach staff how to open the door to their office either.

I had to stop myself walking out on a guy who as part of his first day training was asking things like how to open a link, attach files to email etc, I was being patient at this point, until he gets himself in a panic after making a typo( how he did this after taking half an hour over pressing each key i'm not sure)

HOW DO I FIX THAT?! do i need to start all over?.

erm no, just press backspace.

Whats that?!

[BFTD]

3 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said:

Haha, KB's scared of spiders, HAHAHAHA!

I'm going to find you all and make a giant spider swatter thing from your bawbag skins.  All of you.

I think we've broken him, lads. Best lay off for a while 'til he thinks we've forgotten, then break out the animated GIFs again.

He'll thank us one day when his arachophobia's cured, or he's in a nice clean spiderless asylum.

2 hours ago, Stu said:

Someone at work's dad did something until a few months ago. Didn't realise you could forward an e-mail so would print off the original, scan it then attach the scan to a new e-mail.

Fucking amateur.

• Compose on computer
• Send to print device
• Put printout on wooden table
• Take photograph
• Develop photograph
• Scan photograph
• Attach scan to email

It's the only way to be sure.

[BFTD]

Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Best fax it through as well, just in case. 

I'm starting to see why they pay you the big bucks.

[Gaz]

2 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

On a side note, my mate who is going back to uni asked me to be a guarantor for the flat he is planning to rent for the year. No problem said I ... wish I hadn't bothered. It would be less effort to make a new friend. So far I've had to:

• Fill out a very long application form (I've had mortgage and job applications take less time). Some fields aren't clear, and clicking the help icon beside a field directs you to a blank webpage. 
• Give TWO phone numbers. Generously the fax number field wasn't mandatory. 
• Fill out an insane amount of detail about my job history and where I've lived. And provide proof of my salary and a reference. 
• Agree to a credit check
• At the end of the form.. "untick this box if you don't want to hear about some great insurance offers we can send you". Did so after getting my head around the double negative. 
• Once submitted, my boss had to fill out another form and confirm my salary.
• Next I had to sign a document agreeing to it all (thankfully, I can do this digitally)
• Now they want proof of address and a scanned passport

My reward for doing all this? A spam email (which bypassed my spam filter, doubtless cos it was addressed directly to me) not long after I submitted the initial form, telling me all about the great insurance products they offer. 

Utter arseholes. I've already written them a terse complaint email (that'll show 'em), but I'll wait until my mate actually gets the fecking place before I go postal. 

Agreeing to be a guarantor

[GordonD]

17 minutes ago, Gaz said:

Agreeing to be a guarantor

Absolutely this. So if the OP's friend defaults on the payments, the heavies come after *him*. f**k that for a game of soldiers.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

16 minutes ago, GordonD said:

Absolutely this. So if the OP's friend defaults on the payments, the heavies come after *him*. f**k that for a game of soldiers.

Does anyone need a tap or want a hand moving house? 

[Boghead ranter]

1 hour ago, parsforlife said:

To be fair nobody should need trained in such things, after all we don't teach staff how to open the door to their office either.

I had to stop myself walking out on a guy who as part of his first day training was asking things like how to open a link, attach files to email etc, I was being patient at this point, until he gets himself in a panic after making a typo( how he did this after taking half an hour over pressing each key i'm not sure)

HOW DO I FIX THAT?! do i need to start all over?.

erm no, just press backspace.

Whats that?!

How many times have I had the reply to that instruction "I don't have a button saying backspace on my keyboard"

Ditto when they've been told press any key "I don't have an 'any' key".

[Jaggy Snake]

My boss (who, to be fair, is in his sixties) regularly asks our engineer to print out drawings for him, only to scan them back into his own computer to attach them to an email.

In my previous job I would have said the guy I sat next to was computer literate, considering he was a design engineer and spent all day using CAD programs and spreadsheets. He always complained about his PC freezing so one day, while he was off, I ran a basic disk clean-up on his computer which found more than 3GB of temporary files to be deleted. He was amazed how much better his computer was running when he came back.

[Paco]

5 hours ago, MEADOWXI said:

Mentioned these before,

Quite a few years ago worked in the Admin side of DSS.

Every morning a senior manager used to arrive with large bundles of paper. these were normally 5 or 6 bundles of 20 to 40 pages each and each bundle would have a small note attached to the top with a list of managers that were to receive a copy of the bundle. These were handed to an admin assistant to photocopy and distribute.

It was later when I was talking to her in her office one morning I discovered that she was printing an email and the attachments and this was each bundle. She didn't know how to forward a message and this was easier.

Another manager in the same organisation was starting to make the whole email system for the UK grind to a halt as she had never deleted any sent or received message in about 12 years

 

4 hours ago, Stu said:

Someone at work's dad did something until a few months ago. Didn't realise you could forward an e-mail so would print off the original, scan it then attach the scan to a new e-mail.

Don't see the problem, personally. Hillary Clinton got her staff and even her maid to print emails out so she could read them, and 66 million people voted for her to become the leader of the free world. 

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/election/article111950432.html

http://nypost.com/2016/11/06/clinton-directed-her-maid-to-print-out-classified-materials/