hellbhoy Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 A priest I know thought a flash drive I told him to get to back up important documents before I flattened the hard drive was an expensive car, and also thought I was physically going to use a hammer or mallet to flatten the hard drive. Nice auld guy and funny as hell. My daughters laptop is a touch screen type computer which I have to sort out often and I like using the touch screen, unfortunately I look so fucking stupid using other peoples laptops as I always touch the screen first and wonder why it's not responding. I was in a PC shop just after the millennium when the sales assistant said to a customer "you need a hard drive mate" to which he replied "what?" the assistant then said "hard drive" and the customer said "I drove all the way from Ayr in the fucking rain to get here before you closed, how hard do you think I was driving?". I was repairing an old woman's laptop, after chatting about her problematic husband I said to her "you need to update the driver" her reply "your telling me, never shuts up about everything on the way to anywhere". Another common problem, people who buy new printers and don't remove the seal for the ink. Other times just plain didn't think you need to install cartridges and should have been operational straight out of the box? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiwiDB Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 4 hours ago, Scotty Tunbridge said: Reply to all people are the worst. We recently changed from lotus notes to outlook and people are raging about this wtf? Lotus notes is balls. We changed from Notes about 6-9 months ago, I was fairly new to the business and it was outstandingly funny watching some of those who had been here a while bitch and moan about Outlook, man we just made your life 100 times easier you utter imbeciles.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blootoon87 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 We changed from Notes about 6-9 months ago, I was fairly new to the business and it was outstandingly funny watching some of those who had been here a while bitch and moan about Outlook, man we just made your life 100 times easier you utter imbeciles.. I'm of the view that both are shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 4 hours ago, KiwiDB said: We changed from Notes about 6-9 months ago, I was fairly new to the business and it was outstandingly funny watching some of those who had been here a while bitch and moan about Outlook, man we just made your life 100 times easier you utter imbeciles.. This is a few years ago now, but I wasn't aware that Lotus Notes had a browser. I only found this out when a customer phoned me up and indignantly demanded that the training website I managed, worked on Notes. I asked a developer about it - half jokingly - and he laughed in my stupid face. Again, a few years ago now, and another customer of a large pharmaceutical company emailed me to complain that this website didn't work in Internet Explorer. 6. I pointed out the current version of IE was v10 and it worked fine on that. She informed me that they were in the process of upgrading to IE8 (why not v10 ffs!) but it would take 2 (TWO) years. I then told her it would work on Firefox or Chrome, but that suggestion went down like a cup of cold sick. I realise this post might make me sound like I work in IT but I honestly couldn't write a bitch botch butch batch file if my life depended on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I have a recurring daydream that I can one day go full Office Space on our useless printers and fix their jams permanently with a baseball bat and some not so gentle persuasion. I'm gonna have to ask you to move your desk to the basement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 There are a few people in my department who can't cope with our new double screens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Reply to all people are the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 People who use the title section on emails to type their message. Moronic morons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 The people in our IT team are generally in poorly paid Grades. The IT Helpdesk is spectacularly crap. If the issue is 'too hard' they tell you they'll get back to you then just ignore you. For some reason, they are in charge of the phone lines too. They do not keep records of what the various phone lines are for and getting a line in takes them 6 months.Whenever they carry out a weekend update various items of software no longer work and files won't open. On the flip side, getting them to update the plug-ins that make the various web portals work happens so infrequently that we are constantly having to chase them to carry out this task.If it's any sort of specialist software, don't even bother phoning them as they'll be scoobied.The workstations have been there longer than me.Our IT experience is like getting in a time machine and going back to the '90s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 In terms of people, I find a lot of them have problems with the basics. Formatting is not a strongpoint for many people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 9 hours ago, Zen Archer said: Prior to passwords I once decided to hack off a colleague whilst he was off making coffee by changing his font colour to white. He came back to his PC and opened a document and proceeded to edit to no avail, he then phoned IT and they said someone will be there in a minute. My colleague, totally stressed by the whole affair, fucked off to make another coffee, this gave me time to change the font back to black therefore giving him a beamer when the guy from IT turned up to assess the problem. Ah, the good old days of the ball mouse, where we got hours of entertainment out of removing the ball from a mouse belonging to one particular luddite in our work. He got all smug when we were upgraded to laser mouses, not realising that we could achieve the same result by putting a piece of tape over the laser bit. 8 minutes ago, mizfit said: People who use the title section on emails to type their message. Moronic morons. Based on my work, this behaviour is pretty much exclusive to our homeworkers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Our IT department are actually pretty good and pretty sound guys. In a shocking twist at least 3 of them are bald and the rest all have short hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Boghead ranter said: Ah, the good old days of the ball mouse, where we got hours of entertainment out of removing the ball from a mouse belonging to one particular luddite in our work. He got all smug when we were upgraded to laser mouses, not realising that we could achieve the same result by putting a piece of tape over the laser bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 There was outrage at my office when my team were encouraged to stop using internet explorer and start using chrome. One colleague actually refused for a few weeks to even try chrome! "It's just not the same - why do they always have to change everything that's working fine?" as the website we need to use stops supporting IE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Internet Explorer is shit and Chrome is at least 472929377173920274 times better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Mentioned these before, Quite a few years ago worked in the Admin side of DSS. Every morning a senior manager used to arrive with large bundles of paper. these were normally 5 or 6 bundles of 20 to 40 pages each and each bundle would have a small note attached to the top with a list of managers that were to receive a copy of the bundle. These were handed to an admin assistant to photocopy and distribute. It was later when I was talking to her in her office one morning I discovered that she was printing an email and the attachments and this was each bundle. She didn't know how to forward a message and this was easier. Another manager in the same organisation was starting to make the whole email system for the UK grind to a halt as she had never deleted any sent or received message in about 12 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/nov/14/186m-needless-emails-nhs-wide-test-message-and-replies-to-all-crash-system As funny as this is, I guess part of the problem is that people assume that people know IT basics - such as the difference between REPLY and REPLY ALL, and therefore nobody ever gets trained on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 9 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: On the other side of this, folk who refuse to believe that something IT-related isn't possible. I had a boss who wouldn't believe that Windows programs wouldn't work on DOS systems (the old text-based machines, for those too young to remember), to the point that he took on a contract based on me managing to get Office 97 working on a free version of DOS, despite being warned it wasn't going to happen. Ended up furious that I "wouldn't" get it up and running for him, and spent a week trying to do it himself. No idea how he managed to get himself out of it, but I assume it involved his boss being told I was shite in some way Anyway, check out The Daily WTF for a nice dose of fucked-up IT stories; some will fly over a lot of heads, but there are plenty of good "they were using the CD drive as a mug holder!" type tales too. This one will be of particular interest to @KnightswoodBear Haha, KB's scared of spiders, HAHAHAHA! I'm going to find you all and make a giant spider swatter thing from your bawbag skins. All of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lex Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 People who print everything. Lady in our office will send us an email and an hour or so later come round with the hard copy 'just incase'. Bizarre behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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