Cinema Code of Conduct and general stories of arsehole behaviour at your screen of choice

[DA Baracus]

Hello to Jason Isaacs!

People who listen to the Kermode and Mayo podcast will be familiar with their Code of Conduct. Common sense stuff really (although I do sometimes take my shoes off in the cinema and sometimes eat crisps, although I make sure the bag is opened before the film starts, and that I very carefully take the crisps out of the bag to ensure the absolute minimum of rustling).

 

It’s always mystified and annoyed me that people pay up to £10 to sit in the cinema and be a dick. You can fanny around on Facebook for free outside the cinema and chat shit to your friends outside the cinema for free. Why do folk pay good money to not watch a film?

 

Because people are such dicks at the cinema I always carefully pick what screenings I go to. Any evening showing for a film that has recently been released is out. I will wait a minimum of two weeks after a film is released if I’m going to see it in the evening. Tuesdays and Wednesday evenings are usually avoided due to them being slightly busier due to various deals that folk utilise to get in for cheaper. Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings are madness. I’ll usually go for a Thursday or Monday evening showing.

 

Weekends any time are of course ludicrous. The best time to go is during the day during the week, but not during public and school holidays. When I lived in Aberdeen I often went to the Vue on weekdays and on quite a few occasions I had the screen to myself, which was immense. That’s the ideal scenario of course, but sadly there isn’t a Vue in Dundee, and sadly I work so don’t get to go during the day very often.

 

Anyway, I hope that this thread will be used for tales of wanky behaviour in the cinema. Due to my careful planning the worst I’ve had to experience is just some scumbags on their phones (on the brightest setting, which for some reason they always are) in the middle of the film, but I’m sure folk have had far worse.

[DanMc99]

I remember when i was about 14/15 we went to the big cinema is glasgow can't mind it's name think it's UCI. 

we went up with a  carry out , got a bit raucous during Jarhead , Chants of "HOORRAHHHH" probably got irritating for other people in there.

 

Just thinking back on that makes you realise how much  of an arsehole you can be when you're young

[54_and_counting]

nothing worse when you get to go to a daytime showing, the full screen is practically empty, and some absolute knobend sits 3 seats away from you, why, just why?

[GeeJay]

Had a guy with restless leg syndrome (either that or he was just being a dick) behind me last week. I went full Seinfeld on him. It didn't even work, I had to move seats after about 15 minutes.

[Co.Down Hibee]

Mobile phone use in a cinema should carry a mandatory 5 year prison sentence IMO.

 

 

 

[accies1874]

Went to see Wonder Woman last week and some c**t was shining his torch trying to find his seat. Must've walked half-way up the screening then back down with the torch on trying to find it. Surely he could've just used common sense and realised that they're sorted alphabetically so do some maths stuff?
I usually go to the latest screening possible nowadays. The cinema's usually really quiet and getting parked at the one in Hamilton is terrible at any time between 12 and 9.

[Arch Stanton]

People who go to the cinema together should not be allowed to sit together. That instantly eliminates the result of irritating c***s talking all the way through the film.

[Tommy Nooka]

12 minutes ago, accies1874 said:

Went to see Wonder Woman last week and some c**t was shining his torch trying to find his seat. Must've walked half-way up the screening then back down with the torch on trying to find it. Surely he could've just used common sense and realised that they're sorted alphabetically so do some maths stuff?
I usually go to the latest screening possible nowadays. The cinema's usually really quiet and getting parked at the one in Hamilton is terrible at any time between 12 and 9.

 Hope that was intentional!

[accies1874]

 Hope that was intentional!

Give me some credit

[ftk]

Used to love going to the cinema but expense, uncomfortable seats and arseholes I now prefer to stay at home and pay £9.99 a month to Now tv for sky movies and watch unlimited movies on my 55" Tv. Bliss [emoji5]

 

 

 

 

[KnightswoodBear]

28 minutes ago, ftk said:

Used to love going to the cinema but expense, uncomfy seats and arseholes I now prefer to stay at home and pay £9.99 a month to Now tv for sky movies and watch unlimited movies on my 55" Tv. Bliss

 

 

That's uncomfy seats for you.

[ftk]

That's uncomfy seats for you.

That's arseholes for you ^ [emoji5]

[ICTChris]

I went to see Wonder Woman on Saturday and one of the people near us absolutely stank of shit. It's not specifically a cinema moan by if you do stink of shit then maybe choose a leisure activity that doesn't involve sitting in an enclosed space with other people.

My brother went to see Jeepers Creepers in Glasgow years ago and this massive goth guy started shouting out what was going to happen "THE MONSTERS GKNNAE GET THEM" etc. at one point he stood up and shouted "ITS COMING.... TEN, NINE, EIGHT..." Etc

[invergowrie arab]

DCA is fine in day. Usually quiet enough, only problem is my TV at home is bigger.

My main gripe is folk laughing at adverts. They wouldn't do it in the house.

[pandarilla]

People who go to the cinema together should not be allowed to sit together. That instantly eliminates the result of irritating c***s talking all the way through the film.

That would make a cheeky finger-blast date much more difficult.

[The_Kincardine]

2 minutes ago, pandarilla said:

 

That would make a cheeky finger-blast date much more difficult.

 

Or more interesting...depending on who you were seated next to.

[Cerberus]

The Grosvenor in Glasgow is the only acceptable cinema in the West of Scotland.
Every single other cinema is hoaching with neds and unsavoury working class types who have the social skills of a serial killer.
The last time I was in the Cineworld at the top of Hope Street, 2 fat lassies starting arguing, then screaming at each other, then throwing punches.

 

[Dindeleux]

I remember going to see the South Park movie as a young teenager and there were a few adults there. We spent the film throwing things at each other and other people and I would imagine it became quite annoying for those around us. Although if you're at the South Park film you should really expect some immature wee c***s.

At the Trainspotting 2 movie there was a 40 something couple next to us who had had a few drinks clearly and they spent the entire film winching the face off each other and the guy appeared to be poking her at one point.

[Ira Gaines]

Midweek night time is my time to go and I never encounter annoying shit. If you're going to screenings hoaching with neds then you're doing it wrong.

[accies1874]

Midweek night time is my time to go and I never encounter annoying shit. If you're going to screenings hoaching with neds then you're doing it wrong.

I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 at midnight during the week when it came out and I was shocked at how many neds there were there. I know it's a bit different when it's a midnight showing, but I really think it's just your luck.