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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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1 minute ago, Shandon Par said:

You can also pretend to be a young Snoop Dogg when drinking Tanqueray. "Tanqueray and tonic, yeah I'm fu**ed up now". Rolling down the street smoking indo, sippin on gin & juice etc. 

A couple of years ago I bought a litre of Tanqueray 10 in Duty Free when coming home. Mate was having a house party. Rattled through the best part of the full bottle and woke up in my hotel room with a hole in the wall and a generous puddle of spew on the floor. Needless to say I've never stayed in the Radisson Blu in Glasgow since. My missus has probably posted that story on the "ärgerlich dinge, dass dein Partner gemacht hast" thread on whatever message board she spends her working day posting on instead of working.

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3 hours ago, Ross. said:

 

Late to this one but if you are going with the cheaper options, I would say Tanqueray pisses all over Gordons. I tend to find that after a couple of Gordons, the taste sits in the back of your throat and not in a good way. Whatever the case, decent tonic water, ice and a wedge of fresh lime are the minimum essentials for anything close to a semi decent G&T.

Gordons is utterly rotten stuff. I tend to buy slightly more expensive gins but stuff like Hendricks etc are all fine, as long as it's not Gordon's or Greenalls IMO. Also orange as a garnish is great, but I have tried loads of different stuff as garnishes and they do all make a difference to how nice the G&T is. The mini cans of tonic, with a 50ml gin, ice and a garnish is the perfect mix.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Daeing my nut in.

We went out to get a coffee and she forgot something so we had to go back home.

Doesn’t want to sit inside the coffee place cause it’s a nice day. Doesn’t want to sit directly in the sun cause it’s too hot. Doesn’t want to sit in the shade cause it’s cold.

We go inside and dark and stuffy.

Called her mum and speaks like Dom Jolly so everyone in the place can hear.

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  • 1 month later...
6 hours ago, Cerberus said:

I was at training today with a lovely woman from work. She was pretty and fun to be around.
Having a better half I was feeling bad at being attracted this woman.
When I get home the burd is moaning my face off about everything and anything.

I can see why affairs start.

The other woman wouldn't touch you with a barge pole with a sanitary inspector on the end. Content yourself.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Putting clothes in the tumble dryer without clearing the filter, followed by dumping the clothes in the living room and getting fluff all over the place during folding in front of the tv, usually after I've hoovered the place.

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Putting clothes in the tumble dryer without clearing the filter, followed by dumping the clothes in the living room and getting fluff all over the place during folding in front of the tv, usually after I've hoovered the place.
Right pain in the arse that, my wife does that as well.
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  • 2 months later...

When I'm late shift she'll normally be lying on the couch when I get in. The irritating (fucking infuriating) thing is that she normally falls asleep and will mute the tv or turn it down to about 2 or 3. I'll then come in and put the tv to a level that I can hear the thing, normally about a 9 or 10. This will then disturb the wee one and she'll moan it's because I've turned the tv up. Numerous times I've told her not to fucking turn it down then and the wee one won't be disturbed.

If he would go to bed rather than fall asleep on the couch I would just put my earphones in and listen to the tv instead but obviously that's pretty antisocial while she's lying there.

The wee one woke up tonight because of it (can you tell), absolutely screaming. She then blamed me and I went absolutely apeshit telling her she never fucking learns: keep the fucking volume and a 9 or a 10.

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