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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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8 minutes ago, Lisa Cuddy said:

M8s, you've all been had. An hour to put up a tree is excessive. Have a word. 

Yep.  15 minutes to unpack it, plug it in.  15-30 minutes max to hang the baubles and stick a star on top.   Can't see how it can take 2 hours, never mind 6.

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22 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Yep.  15 minutes to unpack it, plug it in.  15-30 minutes max to hang the baubles and stick a star on top.   Can't see how it can take 2 hours, never mind 6.

If it was keeping me away from a small child that was producing bodily fluid at both ends, I'd be taking 6 hours to hang the decorations too.

Mrs Mullarkey has played a blinder here.

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7 hours ago, Sweet Pete said:

I was tasked with digging our tree and decorations out of the cellar, which, of course, meant that they were at the very back, underneath a hundred things. I dutifully emptied the cellar, carried the tree and boxes of decorations inside and said "we always argue about tree bauble placement because you're an uptight cow, so you decorate the tree yourself" (I may be paraphrasing), and as my reward I was then tasked with clearing out and reorganising the cellar. Turns out that the four bags of old bedding, two old dismantled beds, half box of broken tiles, empty cardboard box and seven old tins of paint weren't really needed, so I was then tasked with binning them all. She then had the bright idea that all my tools and camping gear could be mounted on the cellar walls to make better use of the space, so I was tasked with hanging various tents, bergens, roll mats, spades, rakes and tool bags from the cellar's brick walls and inside of the door. Still, the cellar's spotless and the tree's up.

Have yourself the merriest Christmas ever by bricking up the cellar with that slavedriver inside.

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21 minutes ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

Harsh................but fair.

Our tree will be arriving on Saturday and this same little Hitler gene Swete Pete highlighted will be triggered in my missus. Looking forward to the cat and/or dog tearing up the tree.

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20 minutes ago, throbber said:

She has disrupted my sleep the last two nights which is just the last thing I need right now. Constantly wriggling and making whimpering sounds because she’s in discomfort. I must have lost 2 hours last night.

f**k off Throbber. Even you're not this much of a c**t. 

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2 hours ago, throbber said:

She has disrupted my sleep the last two nights which is just the last thing I need right now. Constantly wriggling and making whimpering sounds because she’s in discomfort. I must have lost 2 hours last night.

Get used to it. That's part of the process to get you used to being an exhausted wreck for the next decade. 

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2 hours ago, throbber said:

She has disrupted my sleep the last two nights which is just the last thing I need right now. Constantly wriggling and making whimpering sounds because she’s in discomfort. I must have lost 2 hours last night.

You'll shortly be lucky if you get 2 hours, let alone lose two hours to be honest. Not sure you're cut out for this throbbs 

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My missus seems to be quite a slapper in her dreams. She's always waking up in the morning to tell me she dreamed she's had an affair and that I too had been having an affair. Sadly, she normally pairs me up with someone terrible, like some rotund lump from a soap. This morning I was kindly woken with what can only be described as hand relief from the good lady. When finished she said she had been doing that to someone in her dream, although in her dreams "it was a really skinny one with really small balls". 

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