Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[19QOS19]

We got a dishwasher when we put in the new kitchen. An utterly glorious invention. I imagine some folk won't empty it but 5 minutes of unloading is a sacrifice well worth it to not have to wash them by hand.

[NJ2]

Yip, total laziness! Maybe I should have said time saver instead? That better? Or did you honestly think I was being literal?

He’s off his tits on irn-bru (most likely)

[MuckleMoo]

I’d rather be dead than wash dishes.

Told you@G_Man1985 ! It's a fucking life saver

[Sergeant Wilson]

3 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I didn't know your wife was blind. What a selfless man you are.

I had an idea she might be. I bet she wishes she was deaf as well rather than listening him and his stupid dug.

[Shandon Par]

16 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I had an idea she might be. I bet she wishes she was deaf as well rather than listening him and his stupid dug.

She loves that dog. She's blind without her glasses. Don't think she's deaf but she has a talent for filtering out anything I say. 

Edited November 23, 2017 by Shandon Par

[coprolite]

It's only a small thing, but she puts the cutlery in the drying basket the wrong way up.

Can any lawyers advise whether this is grounds for divorce?

[Shandon Par]

3 hours ago, coprolite said:

It's only a small thing, but she puts the cutlery in the drying basket the wrong way up.

Can any lawyers advise whether this is grounds for divorce?

Very formal of you. Starter cutlery on the outer edges of the drainer?

59 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Restacking the dishwasher because "it doesnt look right".

Knock yourself out hen and fill it yourself then. 

I'm with your missus here. My wife just opens the dishwasher door and horses everything in. Usually need to wash half the stuff again if she has been left to it, plus she doesn't scrape off food etc so it has a big pile of boiled food, cat food/debris etc at the drain/filter. 

[Shandon Par]

4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Say hi from me and tell her Im away to the pub.

 

Your dishes will be immaculate when you get back. 

[Homer Thompson]

3 hours ago, coprolite said:

It's only a small thing, but she puts the cutlery in the drying basket the wrong way up.

Can any lawyers advise whether this is grounds for divorce?

How is that even possible? Who would hold the dirty end and put it in handle up?

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Restacking the dishwasher because "it doesnt look right".

Knock yourself out hen and fill it yourself then. 

There is, clearly, a correct way to stack the dishwasher.

[Shandon Par]

6 minutes ago, Mr X said:

How is that even possible? Who would hold the dirty end and put it in handle up?

There is, clearly, a correct way to stack the dishwasher.

Of course there is. He's a savage. 

[heedthebaa]

My missus has only stacked it once, it stopped working so I took it out, stripped it to bits and found a chicken bone jammed in the pump, clarty fucker what she is

[nsr]

My wife always responds "It might do!" when I point out that the laws of mathematics and physics won't allow the terrible catastrophe she is prophesying.

[Gaz FFC]

Glad it's not just my wife who is far too lazy to do even small tasks.

I feel a thread coming on for laziest b*****d wife. Not convinced this 1 cuts it.

[Shandon Par]

She's clearly worried about the propeller bits hitting plates. 

[Hedgecutter]

Thinks that if you're working from home then it means you should be taking on all the various household chores during the day.

I also remember my mum (not my 'other half' before one of you lot makes a comment) also playing this game whilst I was supposedly on study leave at school. Ended up going into school the whole time with the handful of other losers to avoid the cleaning and gardening, all this whilst everyone else played ProEvo of course.

[The Moonster]

My girlfriend moans a lot about how we don't "do stuff" together, which is nonsense as we see each other loads throughout the week, but what she means is we don't actually go out places (despite her never fucking suggesting anywhere). So, I have a wee brainstorm to myself today and think of ideas for us tomorrow night. "We haven't been to a comedy night before" I think to myself, I'll suggest that. Suggestion made. Her reply? "I've been busy all week and would prefer a quiet night".

[Sweet Pete]

26 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

My girlfriend moans a lot about how we don't "do stuff" together, which is nonsense as we see each other loads throughout the week, but what she means is we don't actually go out places (despite her never fucking suggesting anywhere). So, I have a wee brainstorm to myself today and think of ideas for us tomorrow night. "We haven't been to a comedy night before" I think to myself, I'll suggest that. Suggestion made. Her reply? "I've been busy all week and would prefer a quiet night".

It's perfectly reasonable that she's unhappy. You're a fucking dick and she's lovely.

[Sweet Pete]

Away from how much of a terrible person The Moonster is, my wife infuriates me with the dishwasher also. In her case, she unpacks it after I've filled it, and filled it perfectly well, only to repack it a slightly different way and turn it on. Not to take anything out, or add anything in, but simply repacks it in a way she prefers. The fucking boot. Her da does it as well with his dishwasher, he moans that her maw packs it wrong and repacks it. Family of dicks.

[nsr]

56 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Thinks that if you're working from home then it means you should be taking on all the various household chores during the day.

The same applies if you're (genuinely) on a sick day.

[The Moonster]

31 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

It's perfectly reasonable that she's unhappy. You're a fucking dick and she's lovely.

I'm not here to argue over just how far out my league she is, but for once I wasn't being a dick and I got nowhere. Dicks get the chicks.