Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[hk blues]

1 hour ago, Black and White Tragic said:

No text message today. No the old tech, back of an envelope technique was left when she went to work.

 

After the health scare in the news last week, can only think that the bleach is part of some pulmonary disease long term plot to be rid of me.

 

At least the non-specific "stuff for dinner" evidence will be gone by the time she gets in at 11.30 tonight. Me and the kids have had a consultation and upon a vote, pizza it is.

 

 

 

I never imagined a shopping list could be stressful to read. 

[Black and White Tragic]

UPDATE:

She called from work, after I got back from the game, asking "have you been to Tesco yet?" Out of bravado I utter, "not yet". She then proceeds to add "stuff for a buffet at work tomorrow" to the list.

I found two packets of steak in the fridge, the kids agreed this should guzump the pizza which is now today's meal.

This morning she has asked me to get up and go to Tesco, before she leaves for work, as apparently she also needs juice to go with the stuff I bought "for buffet" and a dressing gown?! The popcorn, crisps and dips not enough presumably - I said are you going to eat more than £4.50 worth of food, surely someone else would have taken juice? As for the dressing gown, the one she would wear needs washed (she has many) but a dress was the alternative option. Luckily enough, she has plenty of them, and they're all washed.

Stressful start, but here I am still in bed, having managed to avoid a trip and expense.

[Black and White Tragic]

Does your wife usually wear a dressing gown to work?  What does she work as?  Curious.

No, it's some sort of theme shit that they do now and again. She's had to borrow a football shirt a couple of times previously, there's a witch costume that she bought for Halloween (taking up space) etc.

I can see where you're going with this, but it's not a massage parlour.

[Don Diego De la Vega]

 

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, Black and White Tragic said:

UPDATE:

She called from work, after I got back from the game, asking "have you been to Tesco yet?" Out of bravado I utter, "not yet". She then proceeds to add "stuff for a buffet at work tomorrow" to the list.

I found two packets of steak in the fridge, the kids agreed this should guzump the pizza which is now today's meal.

This morning she has asked me to get up and go to Tesco, before she leaves for work, as apparently she also needs juice to go with the stuff I bought "for buffet" and a dressing gown?! The popcorn, crisps and dips not enough presumably - I said are you going to eat more than £4.50 worth of food, surely someone else would have taken juice? As for the dressing gown, the one she would wear needs washed (she has many) but a dress was the alternative option. Luckily enough, she has plenty of them, and they're all washed.

Stressful start, but here I am still in bed, having managed to avoid a trip and expense.


 

Are you some kind of monumental mug?

[DA Baracus]

Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Do Sports Direct still send you one of those when you order something online?

Ask throbber

[Bert Raccoon]

2 hours ago, Black and White Tragic said:

UPDATE:

She called from work, after I got back from the game, asking "have you been to Tesco yet?" Out of bravado I utter, "not yet". She then proceeds to add "stuff for a buffet at work tomorrow" to the list.

I found two packets of steak in the fridge, the kids agreed this should guzump the pizza which is now today's meal.

This morning she has asked me to get up and go to Tesco, before she leaves for work, as apparently she also needs juice to go with the stuff I bought "for buffet" and a dressing gown?! The popcorn, crisps and dips not enough presumably - I said are you going to eat more than £4.50 worth of food, surely someone else would have taken juice? As for the dressing gown, the one she would wear needs washed (she has many) but a dress was the alternative option. Luckily enough, she has plenty of them, and they're all washed.

Stressful start, but here I am still in bed, having managed to avoid a trip and expense.


 

Don't think anyone would blame you for murdering her tbh.

[DA Baracus]

2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I did.

What did he say?

[JamesP_81]

No, it's some sort of theme shit that they do now and again. She's had to borrow a football shirt a couple of times previously, there's a witch costume that she bought for Halloween (taking up space) etc.

I can see where you're going with this, but it's not a massage parlour.

Used to work in a call centre and they done stuff like that all the time . The things they have to do to take away from the absolute drudgery of a soul destroying job . Obviously the people that bought into it most were the ones who would say with a big smile " honestly I love my job I really do " while inside they were praying to be involved in some hideous car crash every day on the way into work .

[Miguel Sanchez]

tell her to do her own fucking shopping

[welshbairn]

2 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

tell her to do her own fucking shopping

Butlers can't do that.

[Jimmy85]

4 hours ago, Black and White Tragic said:

UPDATE:

She called from work, after I got back from the game, asking "have you been to Tesco yet?" Out of bravado I utter, "not yet". She then proceeds to add "stuff for a buffet at work tomorrow" to the list.

I found two packets of steak in the fridge, the kids agreed this should guzump the pizza which is now today's meal.

This morning she has asked me to get up and go to Tesco, before she leaves for work, as apparently she also needs juice to go with the stuff I bought "for buffet" and a dressing gown?! The popcorn, crisps and dips not enough presumably - I said are you going to eat more than £4.50 worth of food, surely someone else would have taken juice? As for the dressing gown, the one she would wear needs washed (she has many) but a dress was the alternative option. Luckily enough, she has plenty of them, and they're all washed.

Stressful start, but here I am still in bed, having managed to avoid a trip and expense.


 

 

Grow a backbone you monumental fucking coward. 

[Venti]

Setting a reminder for her programme half way through something you're watching.

 

Edited September 17, 2017 by Slenderman

[MEADOWXI]

Setting a reminder for her programme half way through something you're watching.
 

Bet she hasn't worked out how to do it without pulling up the full planner and slowly scrolling through each channel and then find the programme

[MONKMAN]

UPDATE:

She called from work, after I got back from the game, asking "have you been to Tesco yet?" Out of bravado I utter, "not yet". She then proceeds to add "stuff for a buffet at work tomorrow" to the list.

I found two packets of steak in the fridge, the kids agreed this should guzump the pizza which is now today's meal.

This morning she has asked me to get up and go to Tesco, before she leaves for work, as apparently she also needs juice to go with the stuff I bought "for buffet" and a dressing gown?! The popcorn, crisps and dips not enough presumably - I said are you going to eat more than £4.50 worth of food, surely someone else would have taken juice? As for the dressing gown, the one she would wear needs washed (she has many) but a dress was the alternative option. Luckily enough, she has plenty of them, and they're all washed.

Stressful start, but here I am still in bed, having managed to avoid a trip and expense.

Your wife sounds like a complete dickhead. You may also be the most pathetic excuse of a man, on a planet that includes throbber.

[BFTD]

The "stuff for dinner" thing: I used to do the weekly shop, but would get the missus to make out the list. It would inevitably feature that line    I solved it by starting to get weekly deliveries, which the wife organises. Tesco seem to do a decent enough job of translating "stuff for dinners".

The new thing: most days I work in a shop that sells groceries, and in which you can withdraw money. The past few weeks have featured an alarming numbers of evening requests to go out and get milk/bum tickets/cash.

(just say no, folks)

[mizfit]

Make plans without telling me

[19QOS19]

She's been a crabbit bitch since I finished work. I usually let it go over my head and let her get on with it. About 20 minutes ago she bit my head off again and so I have had enough for the night and have given up bothering to make conversation. She's since came to life and back to her normal self. I'm now in a crabbit fettle, cracking after 6 hours. I'm waiting for the inevitable "What's up wae you?"

 

 

[19QOS19]

Get her pumped. Again.

That's normally the solution that settles her for a few days.

[Shandon Par]

Answers on a postcard.. I have discovered what Storm St is.