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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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Charity shops ffs? You don't need to buy shit, just give a donation and get tae f**k. Fucking hate it with her rumbling through other peoples discarded items and then asking of all questions "what do you think?" She knows what I think as I have muttered it out oh so many times "leave a donation and get tae f**k oot". Her and her fucking God damn ornaments collection, "that'll look nice on the living room unit...... what do you think?", "Just leave a donation and get tae f**k oot", arghhhh.

 

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Discussed yesterday going to the cinema today and I said that it would depend on what time I get away from work but I'm keen. 

Today she heads to work without a change of clothes and I ask her why not - "you said you didn't want to go".

No I said that I wanted to go but after having had 3 days off work and this being my first day back I don't know what time I'd manage to get away.

Then again I'm sitting on Pie and Bovril so could probably make any showing :lol:

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Discussed yesterday going to the cinema today and I said that it would depend on what time I get away from work but I'm keen. 
Today she heads to work without a change of clothes and I ask her why not - "you said you didn't want to go".
No I said that I wanted to go but after having had 3 days off work and this being my first day back I don't know what time I'd manage to get away.
Then again I'm sitting on Pie and Bovril so could probably make any showing [emoji38]

Does she work in an abattoir? Never heard of dressing up to go to the pictures.
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35 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Does she work in an abattoir? Never heard of dressing up to go to the pictures.

She doesn't like wearing her work clothes at the cinema.  Would rather sit in jeans etc.  I couldn't agree more - I hate going in my shirt and would much rather go in a t-shirt.

Turns out she dreamt me saying I didn't want to go :huh:

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She's got quite a bad cough at the moment, which is obviously somehow my fault. 

 

No doubt after running around after her, I'll catch it as she gets better. Which will probably be my fault. 

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21 hours ago, hellbhoy said:

Charity shops ffs? You don't need to buy shit, just give a donation and get tae f**k. Fucking hate it with her rumbling through other peoples discarded items and then asking of all questions "what do you think?" She knows what I think as I have muttered it out oh so many times "leave a donation and get tae f**k oot". Her and her fucking God damn ornaments collection, "that'll look nice on the living room unit...... what do you think?", "Just leave a donation and get tae f**k oot", arghhhh.

Occasionally auld boys will cark it and your local charity shop will end up clearing their house out on behalf of the family. During the process, they'll occasionally find Grandad's stash of highly-illegal German porn DVDs, which they'll take as nobody wants to have that conversation with the deceased's relatives. They obviously can't be sold in the shop, so they sit in the back until ballsy young Celtic fans come in and ask if there's any 'special interest' material, at which point they can be produced for a small donation.

Not sure if that changes your opinion, but it might change your missus' shopping habits if you do it next time you're out on the High Street  :whistle

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19 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Occasionally auld boys will cark it and your local charity shop will end up clearing their house out on behalf of the family. During the process, they'll occasionally find Grandad's stash of highly-illegal German porn DVDs, which they'll take as nobody wants to have that conversation with the deceased's relatives. They obviously can't be sold in the shop, so they sit in the back until ballsy young Celtic fans come in and ask if there's any 'special interest' material, at which point they can be produced for a small donation.

Not sure if that changes your opinion, but it might change your missus' shopping habits if you do it next time you're out on the High Street  :whistle

I have on the odd occasion have bought something or other that I have flogged off on Ebay at a much higher price than I paid, so watching hours of bargain hunt with the missus has actually benefited me.:)

We are modern in our furniture but she fucking clogs everything up with daft stupid ornaments she buys from them, fucking butterfly shit everywhere man. :lol:

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Yesterday I drive back from holiday in Suffolk as she sleeps, checks her phone etc. She drives but doesn't like driving 'somewhere new'. We get home and as she sorts out her washing, leaving mine in the bag I go to the shop for bread etc (twice actually as I forgot my wallet the first time...) as soon as I get back having been driving for the last 9 hours(!) through some pretty horrendous weather I'm informed that I am putting the youngest to bed as she's done all the washing!

 

That jacks my shit. The machine does the washing! Yip loading and unloading but it hardly equates to hard shift down the mines !!!

 

ETA. Too slow to the party.

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1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

You never mentioned that when you were selling off those Dons books, Dave.

The last thing I want on here is a reputation as some kind of sexual pervert.

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2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Well it was the first thing so it's always nice to get a change.

I thought I was passing so well  :(

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She took me out for dinner tonight which was nice so I was in a cheerful mood which is unusual for this stage of the week. On the bus home I asked if she could check the Clyde score for me because my phone had died. "Yeah, give me a minute". 10 minutes passes and she's still going through every Snapchat story on her phone. Easily about 50 of them. She never usually does this of course, as she'll normally pick and choose but she was absolutely determined I wasn't finding out the score for some reason. Possibly because I mentioned I wish I was going to the game earlier in the evening. I then spotted she was on Google about to search something else, so I asked her again if she could check the score. "Yeah, I said give me a minute. I'm doing something!". Then she started looking at holidays and giving it "Ohhh, that's a good deal eh?" patter. This went on for another 10 minutes by which point I was absolutely raging. A 5 second search would've yielded what I was looking for but couldn't help but feel she was purposefully avoiding doing it to piss me off. She eventually did it though and to my delight we were winning 2-1 so all was forgotten. I think I'd have fucked her phone out onto the motorway if we were getting pumped at that point.

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8 minutes ago, ScottR96 said:

She took me out for dinner tonight which was nice so I was in a cheerful mood which is unusual for this stage of the week. On the bus home I asked if she could check the Clyde score for me because my phone had died. "Yeah, give me a minute". 10 minutes passes and she's still going through every Snapchat story on her phone. Easily about 50 of them. She never usually does this of course, as she'll normally pick and choose but she was absolutely determined I wasn't finding out the score for some reason. Possibly because I mentioned I wish I was going to the game earlier in the evening. I then spotted she was on Google about to search something else, so I asked her again if she could check the score. "Yeah, I said give me a minute. I'm doing something!". Then she started looking at holidays and giving it "Ohhh, that's a good deal eh?" patter. This went on for another 10 minutes by which point I was absolutely raging. A 5 second search would've yielded what I was looking for but couldn't help but feel she was purposefully avoiding doing it to piss me off. She eventually did it though and to my delight we were winning 2-1 so all was forgotten. I think I'd have fucked her phone out onto the motorway if we were getting pumped at that point.

Dump the sadistic cow.

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I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

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23 minutes ago, whiskychimp said:

I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

:lol::lol:

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3 hours ago, whiskychimp said:

I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

Dump her

body after you've murdered her

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6 hours ago, whiskychimp said:

I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

Mashy Honey Spoon Spoon?

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8 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

 


The fucks wrong with that?

While I wouldn't go as far as Pete, why butter AND honey rather than one or the other?

ETA: unless it was two slices, one with honey and one with butter.

Edited by Mark Connolly
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