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Email etiquette at work.

TheScarf

By TheScarf
in The General Nonsense Forum

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Louis Litt

Louis Litt

Posted
Posted

There was an email last week from a girl in the office asking for the guilty party to come forward and bring back the missing sellotape dispenser and sellotape. 

Even more importantly (I know!) she's not a wid

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
jessmagic

jessmagic

Posted
Posted

Thanks for Internal Mail.

Regards for Internal Mail when someone has brought me out in a rage.

Kind Regards for External Mail.

Warmest Regards for emailing mates in an ironic manner.

I have no soul and have cc'd someone's Line Manager when they have not done something. I will go to hell but it got the job done.

RGDS - this person is a c*unt.

Single initial - get a grip FFS.

Cheers - I'm not your mate, this a workplace. 

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Cardinal Richelieu

Cardinal Richelieu

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, jessmagic said:

Thanks for Internal Mail.

Regards for Internal Mail when someone has brought me out in a rage.

Kind Regards for External Mail.

Warmest Regards for emailing mates in an ironic manner.

I have no soul and have cc'd someone's Line Manager when they have not done something. I will go to hell but it got the job done.

RGDS - this person is a c*unt.

Single initial - get a grip FFS.

Cheers - I'm not your mate, this a workplace. 

Don't agree with everything you're written, but there is a special place in hell reserved for people who write RGDS. First few times I saw it I thought it was some acronym. It doesn't even work as text speak. Is the person that fucking lazy that they can't be arsed typing three extra letters in their meaningless platitude?

Cheers. 

 

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resk

resk

Posted
Posted

I've encountered a couple of folk who have the bright idea of incorporating "Regards" or "Kind Regards" into their email signature in order to save time typing it, but inevitably forget and type it anyway so their email finishes up:

 

"Regards

 

 

 

Regards

 

Cunto McDickington

Senior Spreadsheets Engineer Or Some Made Up Pishy Job

Some Shitey Company For Dicks "

 

 

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Boghead ranter

Boghead ranter

Posted
Posted

Some offended and underfed bird decided that this was appropriate to be sent to circa 400 e-mail users in my building.

Quote

Hi

Yesterday I brought in a sandwich and salad for lunch. I ate my sandwich but decided to leave the salad for later …wasn’t hungry enough.

When I went back to get the salad from the fridge at 7.30 when I finished it wasn’t there!

If someone was hungry I think they should’ve checked if they could have it.  I’m in today, tomorrow and Wednesday so hopefully I’ll find a replacement in the fridge.

Thanks

Daft Burd's signature

I'm not confident that a salad is going to magically appear back in the fridge, to be honest.

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welshbairn

welshbairn

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

Some offended and underfed bird decided that this was appropriate to be sent to circa 400 e-mail users in my building.

I'm not confident that a salad is going to magically appear back in the fridge, to be honest.

You should take a bite out of a tomato, stick a note on it with her name and "Sorry!", and sneak it in the front of the fridge.

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Boghead ranter

Boghead ranter

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

Some offended and underfed bird decided that this was appropriate to be sent to circa 400 e-mail users in my building.

I'm not confident that a salad is going to magically appear back in the fridge, to be honest.

I have just read the e-mail Subject, and it was a tomato and basil chickin salad, apparently.  No wonder she's gone off on one.

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Rugster

Rugster

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

Some offended and underfed bird decided that this was appropriate to be sent to circa 400 e-mail users in my building.

I'm not confident that a salad is going to magically appear back in the fridge, to be honest.

If no one replies to the email referencing Salad Dodging and fatty tights I'd be disappointed.

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deej

deej

Posted
Posted

There's a few potential P&B themed replies tbh

 

1. "Word salad "

2. "Pics or GTF"

3. A swift boot to the pie

4. "^^Seething"

 

I'm not too sure how the first one works but it says salad so seems appropriate

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Dindeleux

Dindeleux

Posted
Posted
There's a few potential P&B themed replies tbh
 
1. "Word salad "
2. "Pics or GTF"
3. A swift boot to the pie
4. "^^Seething"
 
I'm not too sure how the first one works but it says salad so seems appropriate


I'm up for this.

I have responded to a few emails with links to gifs used on here.
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The_Kincardine

The_Kincardine

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

I have just read the e-mail Subject, and it was a tomato and basil chickin salad, apparently.  No wonder she's gone off on one.

Since it's inconceivable that any Scottish football fan would bring a salad to work I think we've found the culprit:

 

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Boghead ranter

Boghead ranter

Posted
Posted
On 4/10/2017 at 16:51, Boghead ranter said:

Some offended and underfed bird decided that this was appropriate to be sent to circa 400 e-mail users in my building.

I'm not confident that a salad is going to magically appear back in the fridge, to be honest.

 

On 4/10/2017 at 17:12, Boghead ranter said:

I have just read the e-mail Subject, and it was a tomato and basil chickin salad, apparently.  No wonder she's gone off on one.

The deadline has passed, and the salad has not been replaced. #shotsfired

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  • 2 weeks later...
Cardinal Richelieu

Cardinal Richelieu

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Le Tout P'ti FC said:

The shredder is broken.

An engineer has been called.

The engineer is here.

A part has been ordered.

The engineer is back.

The shredder is fixed.

Was that all in one email? Or was it sent videprinter style?

Just had an email from a colleague who says she wants to "connect" with me (not in that way), and when I replied, thanked me for "reaching out" to her. I'd have flown across the desk in a rage but she's 3,000 miles away in Canada. 

 

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Rugster

Rugster

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Was that all in one email? Or was it sent videprinter style?

Just had an email from a colleague who says she wants to "connect" with me (not in that way), and when I replied, thanked me for "reaching out" to her. I'd have flown across the desk in a rage but she's 3,000 miles away in Canada. 

 

They use reaching out in my company all the time, American owners. It takes great will power not to send them that meme about the Four Tops.

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Le Tout P'ti FC

Le Tout P'ti FC

Posted
Posted
Was that all in one email? Or was it sent videprinter style?
Just had an email from a colleague who says she wants to "connect" with me (not in that way), and when I replied, thanked me for "reaching out" to her. I'd have flown across the desk in a rage but she's 3,000 miles away in Canada. 
 

Vidiprinter style.
Series of emails with the enticing header "Shredder on Floor 1"

Shredder Engineer 7 (seven) Employer 0
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