hellbhoy Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 17 minutes ago, John Lambies Doos said: Wake up a lot during night needing piss. Problem is I always have a stauner. Sit down piss a must... or I pee everywhere Ffs. Having to wait until it gets flaccid enough to actually piss pisses me off because all I want to do is get back to my manky dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Waking up with a severe hangover and needing to vomit, shit and pish at the same time hasn't been catered for. The bath or shower is too messy, and the toilet is clearly insufficient. Gap in the market, people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 45 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Waking up with a severe hangover and needing to vomit, shit and pish at the same time hasn't been catered for. The bath or shower is too messy, and the toilet is clearly insufficient. Gap in the market, people. A wee bucket in the bathroom is a vital part of any home. Ours has been punished thoroughly since the wean brought home a stomach bug two weeks ago. Willing to convert to any religion that can guarantee that I won't need it tonight... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I don't have a vagina so stand up to pish, sober, drunk or in the dark. Mumsnet thread for sitting down pissers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted February 17, 2017 Author Share Posted February 17, 2017 14 minutes ago, Romeo said: I don't have a vagina so stand up to pish, sober, drunk or in the dark. Mumsnet thread for sitting down pissers. You're definitely a fanny though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamDFC Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Oh dear. The sit-down pish is one of life's treats and should be widely embraced as such. Don't listen to me, though; listen to maths. This is what the Golden Ratio was originally created for. To the lay, or sit, user, this equates to about one sit-down pish for every five regular, stand-up pishes. To prove this theory, if you aim your cock and pish almost horizontally into the bowl, your urine will make the above pattern. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wee Willie Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 1 hour ago, Romeo said: I don't have a vagina so stand up to pish, sober, drunk or in the dark. Mumsnet thread for sitting down pissers. 1 hour ago, sjc said: You're definitely a fanny though. Good call Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Oh dear. The sit-down pish is one of life's treats and should be widely embraced as such. Don't listen to me, though; listen to maths. This is what the Golden Ratio was originally created for. To the lay, or sit, user, this equates to about one sit-down pish for every five regular, stand-up pishes. To prove this theory, if you aim your cock and pish almost horizontally into the bowl, your urine will make the above pattern. Thank you. Luv it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 2 hours ago, sjc said: You're definitely a fanny though. Harsh but fair. You will of course be hearing from my legal team in due course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 1 minute ago, getdoon said: The sit down piss, like the sit down shower, is a vital part of hangover recovery. People that are too proud to take a seat to piss occasionally are moronic. I agree. It can be a luxurious experience. A bit of "me time". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted February 17, 2017 Author Share Posted February 17, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRob72 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 The correct way to use a urinal... What, the guy pissing in the sink? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believe The Hype Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 My mate shat in his kitchen bin once. He had just moved house and was wasted one night, fell asleep in the kitchen and the same route he took in his previous house was to the toilet, this route now took him to the bin. His ex fiancé found it the next morning. As you were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 11 hours ago, welshbairn said: Waking up with a severe hangover and needing to vomit, shit and pish at the same time hasn't been catered for. The bath or shower is too messy, and the toilet is clearly insufficient. Gap in the market, people. Sit on toilet facing cistern, remove cistern lid, Vomit in cistern as you shit and pish in pan. I was once that ill (not drink related) that this option was discovered and used. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 51 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said: Sit on toilet facing cistern, remove cistern lid, Vomit in cistern as you shit and pish in pan. I was once that ill (not drink related) that this option was discovered and used. What a lovely surprise for Magee next time your ballcock needs replacing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted February 17, 2017 Author Share Posted February 17, 2017 10 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: What a lovely surprise for Magee next time your ballcock needs replacing Who in their right mind would get Magee round to fix their toilet. f**k letting that c**t in my house, he'd straight into the laundry basket looking for the wife's knickers to sniff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Yep, sometimes I just can't be arsed standing, especially if I'm at home. I'll have a sit down pish. Usually late at night when I'm knackered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuckleMoo Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Although a sit down pish can reduce the chances of pissing on the floor I've found, through personal experience, that it doesn't completely eliminate it.Through being intoxicated/hungover/sleepy it is possible to piss through the gap of the seat and bowl. Said piss then appears to run down the bowl and collect around jeans/boxer shorts. It's not until the clothing around your ankles are soaking that you realise what's happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamDFC Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 31 minutes ago, MuckleMoo said: Although a sit down pish can reduce the chances of pissing on the floor I've found, through personal experience, that it doesn't completely eliminate it. Through being intoxicated/hungover/sleepy it is possible to piss through the gap of the seat and bowl. Said piss then appears to run down the bowl and collect around jeans/boxer shorts. It's not until the clothing around your ankles are soaking that you realise what's happening. Hold on a fucking moment, MuckleMoo. How small must your tadger be to, at rest, hose between the seat and ceramic? For an appropriately hung adult male, there are only two possible scenarios that I can think of that might trigger such an episode; 1) You've drank several thousand litres of liquid and the hydraulic-like pressure creates a focused lightningbolt of piss, ricocheting around the bowl and collecting around the danger zone. 2) You're crossing your legs, the shaft has become pinched by the objectionable embrace of your thighs, and as a result is aimed directly into the area of question. Either way, you need to take a look at yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 16 hours ago, Ludo*1 said: I pissed in the microwave once when fucking out of it. Obviously I've no recollection of it but my missus tried to get into the kitchen to see what I was up to and apparently I told her to 'get tae' as 'I'm in the toilet ffs'. The most impressive thing about this was that the microwave was about 5ft off the ground (On the counter) and a bit off the floor and I held the door shut whilst doing it. The least impressive thing? Well, I pissed in a microwave... A mate of mine let himself down a bit a few years back. He came in ruined and went for a slash. He and his (now ex-) missus weren't getting on too well at the time, and she came into the bathroom to have a bit of a yell at him about the fact that he hadn't come home all day, was out his face, and, she noticed, was pissing liberally all over the cistern, the seat (which remained down) and the floor. He was incapable of speech so reached down, still pissing, and wrenched the toilet seat from its fittings and threw it at her. It hit the sink. They broke up not long after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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