Ya Bezzer! Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 3 minutes ago, Dindeleux said: Non-dishwasher owning tinky found. Doing the washing up in the sink is the one fun household chore. Hot water, bubbles, marigolds and a novelty dish washing brush. Good times in an uncertain world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawB93 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Doing the dishes actually gives me the boke. The one chore I struggle to do. Would rather scrub the toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawB93 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Also if anyone wants me to cut their pizzas for them we can work out a deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 "Mummy, mummy, I want one of those wheel things to cut my pizza mummy". But darling, pizza cutters may be useful in a fast food environment where the pizzas are braced in place by the abrasive cardboard underneath them but for domestic use a simple large knife is ideal. "But mummy, I want a pizza cutter. And a pony". --- So we see, the pizza cutter is the preserve of the demanding, underdeveloped of brain. Those using scissors should seek help from there GP to beat their terrible addictions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Couldn't agree more. But what do you do in case of a shop-bought pizza? Also, a pizza slicer pretty much only has one use and how do you even sharpen them? Scissors ticks all these boxes. I should really go out and buy a pizza just to try this theory out, just in case it turns out that scissors are shite for cutting pizzas and I'm left with egg on my face. Pizza and egg? OFTW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: "Mummy, mummy, I want one of those wheel things to cut my pizza mummy". But darling, pizza cutters may be useful in a fast foot environment where the pizzas are braced in place by the abrasive cardboard underneath them but for domestic use a simple large knife is ideal. "But mummy, I want a pizza cutter. And a pony". --- So we see, the pizza cutter is the preserve of the demanding, underdeveloped of brain. Those using scissors should seek help from there GP to beat their terrible addictions. Trying to deflect your utter ham fistedness by appealing to the lowest common denominator. Shameful. edit: I can only imagine someone let you use a pizza cutter once and you tried to lick the cheese off afterwards. Don't take it out on us normies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 And folk aren't actually using scissors to cut pizza, calling bullshit on that. If you struggle with a rudimentary tool like a pizza cutter, why wouldn't you just use a knife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Just now, KnightswoodBear said: Trying to deflect your utter ham fistedness by appealing to the lowest common denominator. Shameful. Mummy's boy gadget freak. It's a shite tool, just admit it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Anyone that needs scissors to cut a pizza is a Darwin Award waiting to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Just now, Shandon Par said: Mummy's boy gadget freak. It's a shite tool, just admit it. Idiot speak with forked tongue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 The pizza/scissors thing reminds me of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 5 minutes ago, NorthernJambo said: And folk aren't actually using scissors to cut pizza, calling bullshit on that. If you struggle with a rudimentary tool like a pizza cutter, why wouldn't you just use a knife? Simple. They aren't allowed. When they say scissors, they mean these things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 minute ago, KnightswoodBear said: Simple. They aren't allowed. When they say scissors, they mean these things How do these imbeciles tie their shoe laces FFS?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Cutting pizza with scissors is probably the worst thing I've read on here, and I sometimes read Monkey Tennis posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 16 minutes ago, RawB93 said: Doing the dishes actually gives me the boke. The one chore I struggle to do. Would rather scrub the toilet. You should save time and eat off the toilet seat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 3 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: Cutting pizza with scissors is probably the worst thing I've read on here, and I sometimes read Monkey Tennis posts. It's certainly up there with day old cold toast, baws out pishing and forward/sitting down wiping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 minute ago, sjc said: It's certainly up there with day old cold toast, baws out pishing and forward/sitting down wiping. I think in one of the deleted scenes (on the basis of it being too squalid and depraved) from the first Trainspotting, when they are in Mother Superior's den or Tommy's flat, an addict can be seen cutting pizza with scissors in the background. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 35 minutes ago, Dindeleux said: Non-dishwasher owning tinky found. Manky lazy layabout (albeit one with a dishwasher) found. https://www.cuttingboard.com/blog/stop-putting-your-cutting-board-in-the-dishwasher/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 6 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: I think in one of the deleted scenes (on the basis of it being too squalid and depraved) from the first Trainspotting, when they are in Mother Superior's den or Tommy's flat, an addict can be seen cutting pizza with scissors in the background. Makes perfect sense that it was deleted on the grounds you mention, Shandon. Users of these "gadgets" should be ostrasized from normal society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 49 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: More washing up? So we've got 2 means of slicing up a pizza (assuming that we can discount a serrated knife which is crap). 1. PIZZA CUTTER Assuming you have one. Remove pizza from oven. Wait 5 minutes for cheese to solidify. Place on chopping board. Cut. Serve. 2. (SHARP) SCISSORS Remove from oven. Cut. Serve. I'm sorry Cardinal, you usually seem like a sensible sort but I need to ask. Where is the pizza when you're cutting it with scissors? Are you holding it up and cutting the slices directly on to the plate? Does your pizza have a jar of Dolmio on it causing sauce to squirt in every direction when you cut it? Do you not have kitchen roll to wipe the chopping board down quickly? Do you have the pizza in the crick of your arm like a baby you're holding for the first time? And the most important question of all: What the f**k is wrong with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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