DA Baracus Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 1 hour ago, throbber said: DA - This is why you confuse me some times as you are often the first to pull me up for jake ball behaviour yet you come out with stuff like that. What a seriously disturbing thing to do. Aye but I did that when I was 17. 18 minutes ago, Dee Man said: The most disgusting thing DA Baracus has done is to leave a word out of this thread title and not get it sorted. No idea what you're on about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 It doesn't matter if you were 17 or not what the f**k were you playing at? You are a fucking mad man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 Just now, throbber said: It doesn't matter if you were 17 or not what the f**k were you playing at? You are a fucking mad man. It was just silly youthful nonsense from my part, obviously influenced by alcohol. I woke everyone up later at the same party by playing with power tools at 4am. In my defence I was sleeping under the kitchen table and it was cold and uncomfortable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 If you had tricked someone in to drinking your piss then you could have been put on the sex offenders register! You are some case DA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 1 minute ago, throbber said: If you had tricked someone in to drinking your piss then you could have been put on the sex offenders register! You are some case DA. I once pished in a bin in a playpark. It was on the way home from the pub and at about 00.38 though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 I once pished in a bin Now you're talking Throbber's (second, after German) language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Having a w**k bin when you are a teenager isn't as bad as trying to trick people into drinking your urine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 One time at a party I disappeared upstairs with a burd and came back down only to have one of my mates look at me in shock and ask if I'd been in a fight. Lower half of my face was streaked in blood - upon further investigation, my dick also looked like it had just been mugged. In the darkness and in my half-pished state I hadn't realised that Aberdeen were playing at home that weekend, and she hadn't bothered telling me. Payback's a bitch though...from that moment her nickname was the Blood Donor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 28 minutes ago, Hillonearth said: One time at a party I disappeared upstairs with a burd and came back down only to have one of my mates look at me in shock and ask if I'd been in a fight. Lower half of my face was streaked in blood - upon further investigation, my dick also looked like it had just been mugged. In the darkness and in my half-pished state I hadn't realised that Aberdeen were playing at home that weekend, and she hadn't bothered telling me. Payback's a bitch though...from that moment her nickname was the Blood Donor. Were you nicknamed 'Transfusion'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chlamydia Kid Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 One time at a party I disappeared upstairs with a burd and came back down only to have one of my mates look at me in shock and ask if I'd been in a fight. Lower half of my face was streaked in blood - upon further investigation, my dick also looked like it had just been mugged. In the darkness and in my half-pished state I hadn't realised that Aberdeen were playing at home that weekend, and she hadn't bothered telling me. Payback's a bitch though...from that moment her nickname was the Blood Donor. Did the same on holiday as a teenager when I thought the volume of moisture was indicative of my exceptional performance. although she tried to claim she was a virgin- hence the blood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Once was staying over at a friends flat. There was a bunch of people round and a lot of bevvy was taken. I slept on the sofa in the living room. Next morning I woke up feeling pretty rough. I went into the kitchen but there was no cereal (or anything to eat really) so I went back into the living room picked up a bowl of stale Twiglets, poured a half can of lager that was also lying around from the previous evening and ate them with a spoon like corn flakes. This stands out as a personal low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 16 hours ago, Dindeleux said: Anyway I came back with the dog and like all sensible dog owners I picked up his shit after he was done. When I got home my girlfriend pointed to the brown mark on my finger ( @8MileBU ) and asked what it was. I then said "Its either coffee or dog shite" and licked it only to confirm it was indeed coffee. Do you sit down or stand up when you wipe? If I had been your girlfriend (perish the thought) I'd just have assumed it was human shite, and probably wouldn't even have bothered to question it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 16 hours ago, whiskychimp said: This wasn't me but it happened to me. Was pumping a burd on hold and she kept whispering that she was kinky as f**k. Loving the sound of this I'm expecting some proper filth. She climbed off my dick and started edging her pussy up towards my face. She then proceeded to start taking a shit on my chest. I have never moved so fast in my whole life but it wasn't quick enough to avoid the first curl. hahahaha I really hope this is genuine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Most recent thing I can think of is when I was hiking a mountain in NZ, me and my mate stumbled across an igloo type structure that someone had clearly put a bit of time into building. I desperately needed a shite and there was nowhere sheltered to do the deed to avoid being seen by other hillwalkers. I made the decision to shit inside the igloo. It was hilarious at first but I was immediately regretful and felt a bit guilty. I was about to feel even worse because a family walked past us immediately after the shite. As we passed them I heard the kids behind me shout "oh look, an igloo!" and they ran off towards it. I can't imagine what their reactions would have been to find a big fat jobby waiting for them. They probably told their parents as well. Awful. As we continued down the mountain we passed another hiker. It was getting late and we wondered why he was ascending so late in the evening. "I'm sleeping up here tonight." I immediately became concerned and my mate could barely hold back his laughter as I asked the guy "and where might you be sleeping tonight?" I was relieved to hear he had brought a tent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 19 minutes ago, jamamafegan said: hahahaha I really hope this is genuine Genuine. The aftermath was funny too, well it is looking back on it. She was on her side with legs asplay, mid shit; and I was standing beside the bed, with a brown stain on my chest, shouting "what the f**k was that?" She rolled onto all fours, facing me, and started screaming that I was an arsehole. I then had a quick rinse in the sink, grabbed my clobber and ran away. Probably lucky it wasn't our room. That would have been much more awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allan Jacobsen Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 18 hours ago, Romeo said: I'm glad you said cigarette ends. I truly thought that was going to end differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddieInDundee Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 A few years ago I was playing about in the glorious world of tinder. Hit it off with a sweet wee lass and met her for the classic first date of 'a couple of drinks'. Things went well, went back to hers and rifled her. Happy days.I'm keen to see the girl again, so suggested she came round to mine and I'd cook her tea. She says yes and loves it, we have a bottle of wine and everything seems like a seamless transition from date to date. I suggest we go through to my room, she is more than happy to oblige. Woohoo, getting my hole again! After pumping her she decides she's going to 'clean up', if you know what I mean, which is just great. All set to erupt again. Going, going, going, gone!Hang on, she's reacted weirdly. Maybe she doesn't like a gob full of spunk? Turns out I hadn't realised my wee soldiers, but instead had emptied my bladder. I had just pissed into the poor girl's mouth.We didn't have a third date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 14 minutes ago, BuddieInDundee said: A few years ago I was playing about in the glorious world of tinder. Hit it off with a sweet wee lass and met her for the classic first date of 'a couple of drinks'. Things went well, went back to hers and rifled her. Happy days. I'm keen to see the girl again, so suggested she came round to mine and I'd cook her tea. She says yes and loves it, we have a bottle of wine and everything seems like a seamless transition from date to date. I suggest we go through to my room, she is more than happy to oblige. Woohoo, getting my hole again! After pumping her she decides she's going to 'clean up', if you know what I mean, which is just great. All set to erupt again. Going, going, going, gone! Hang on, she's reacted weirdly. Maybe she doesn't like a gob full of spunk? Turns out I hadn't realised my wee soldiers, but instead had emptied my bladder. I had just pissed into the poor girl's mouth. We didn't have a third date. Have you ever shot your load? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Back in my late teens me and a few mates had been involved in a petty and stupid drunken brawl with another group of guys our own age. We knew where one of these guys lived so after a night at the pub me and my mate went to his door and took it in turns to piss through his letterbox. As I held the letterbox open, my mate missed and pished all over my hand. I then got a kebab and ate it with the hand that had been pished upon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddieInDundee Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Have you ever shot your load? No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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