DA Baracus Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 A large number of posters have outed themselves as hideous tinks in the past so this should be interesting. Fortunately I'm not an utter jakeball, so mine is pretty tame. It was Christmas Eve 2003. I was the most drunk I've ever been. I stumbled in to my parent's house at about 1am. Due to relatives staying over I had to sleep on an airbed in my younger brother's room. I passed out and awoke an indeterminate amount of time late with an urgent need to spew. I was still utterly pushed so was trying to use the force to open the window so I could spew outside. When this didn't work I just spewed on the floor from my lying down position, threw my top over it and went back to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Yer maw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Surely coming up with the idea for an amputee f**k pram is more disgusting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm Brian Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 I once found myself watching a game of football in amongst several thousand Kilmarnock fans. I still feel dirty 25 years on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Me and a Rangers fan I used to work with had to wear each others teams shirts one afternoon for charity. It was the one from the nine in a row season with the red and white flashes down one side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 A guy asked me once if I'd look good in a Rangers shirt and I considered it for longer than 3 seconds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcat1990 Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 I once peed in my own mouth out of sheer stupid curiosity. Wouldn't recommend it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 41 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said: Yer maw. Aye but she's a drunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogmc Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Freshers week at uni I was horrifically drunk by time i got back to my room which suddenly started spinning....as I realised I was gonna spew I grabbed a carrier bag and threw up into it. Thankfully it didn't leak but I didn't fancy walking down the corridor with a bag of sick so I carefully dropped out of my window having checked noone was watching. I was on 4th floor and hadn't factored in the fact it was a windy night n watched in horror as the bag blew into the open window of the room on the bottom floor. If the person who woke up on Sunday morning of freshers week in 1990 in Murray hall at Stirling uni to a cold bag of spew on their desk is reading this....I'm very sorry. On the plus side it was more or less lump free....mostly just mcewans 80 /. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 I have a pretty weak stomach and even in my days of heavy drinking and taking pills I would always need to wash the drugs down with water rather than beer as I would more than likely choke a little bit with the chance of spewing If it went down wrong. On more than one occasion this happened and I fished through the spew to get the pill back in once piece and take it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 As naive young man I assumed the sellotape wrapping my LSD was biodegradable so swallowed it and of course nothing happened. By the time it came out and a lot of messy inspection I scraped the shit off, rinsed it, stripped the tape off and swallowed, it was time to go for an Economics A level. I didn't do very well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chlamydia Kid Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Few months ago I was out all day with my pal. Came back to my house for a drink. For some inexplicable reason I urinated in a pint tumbler and left it on a set of chest of drawers. A couple of hours later I came back up the stairs picked up the pint tumbler having forgot I had urinated in it and mistook it for water- Walked through to the bedroom where my missus was watching something on the iPad started speaking to her and then casually started downing it. Took me a good few seconds/ half a pint to realise something was amiss and then instantly spewed all over the place. Next day as soon as I remembered what I had done I spewed again. Vile. Probably done worse than that though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chlamydia Kid Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 In fact I Remeber waking up in a hotel in Liverpool years ago after a trip to the races with a sore arse and no bank card. Went down the stairs for breakfast and discovered the source of my sore arse/lost bank card when I was faced with a mammoth turd on the carpeted stairs which had my mangled bank card sticking out it like a flake on a 99. Had obviously decided I wasn't going to make it to the room and in the absence of toilet roll had tried to scrape the myself clean with the card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 11 minutes ago, The Chlamydia Kid said: In fact I Remeber waking up in a hotel in Liverpool years ago after a trip to the races with a sore arse and no bank card. Went down the stairs for breakfast and discovered the source of my sore arse/lost bank card when I was faced with a mammoth turd on the carpeted stairs which had my mangled bank card sticking out it like a flake on a 99. Had obviously decided I wasn't going to make it to the room and in the absence of toilet roll had tried to scrape the myself clean with the card. Was that before contactless? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Chlamydia Kid did nobody at the hotel notice/clean the jobby up? [emoji23] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chlamydia Kid Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Evidently not- was a Sunday mate - double time for cleaners [emoji23] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Probably feeling like I was going about to spew imminently at a mate's flat and in a snap decision decided to open my hoodie, opting to vomit down the gap between the hoodie and underlying t-shirt rather than all over his couch / carpet. Quickly appreciated that a puddle of spew could be mopped up, soaked reeking clothes not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Evidently not- was a Sunday mate - double time for cleaners [emoji23] That's brilliant mate - I bet you felt proud of yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RadgerTheBadger Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Circa 2007 I was in a venue of entertainment at the omni in Edinburgh named "Mood"The walls round the dance floor/stage area had wee bits that went in the way a few inches, enough room for a standard built person to stand sideyways The club was known for doing cracking drink deals from time to time, I fondly remember them doing any three drinks for a fiver before 12, I digress. This night they were doing a shots deal where you got a paddle with 7 or 8 different shots on it for £6I can't remember what the shots were but I picked up a tumbler that was lying and poured them all in and downed it. Walked up to the top bar and done the same.I fancied a dance so went to the dance floor, and it hit me. I've found myself next to the wee gap and it was filled with coats and bags and I proceeded to spew my ring all over themI was then oakstered oot the premises by Barry the b*****d bouncer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grass Is Greener. Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Mood There wasn't any need to add to that story after you said you were in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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