Newbornbairn Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Don't we have one on here that advises Heads of State on foreign policy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 4 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said: Don't we have one on here that advises Heads of State on foreign policy? Yeah, he has caddied for a few of the world's most important politicians IIRC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Same gentleman has played football at a high level I believe, but wont say who for. And uses this "fact" to belittle the opinions of others who dont have made up football careers. Luckily I played up front for Red Star Belgrade when they were shit hot (just before all of their player records were lost in a fire) There's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield, but the records only go back to 1978 when the Hall of Records was mysteriously blown away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I think I've told my story on here before, about going on a massive drinking session when I was 18, missing a few days of work, not phoning in and then telling my boss that my missus found out she was pregnant and I had panicked, resulting in loads of overtime and not getting sacked. Re Walter Mitty types: I have a good friend who is constantly telling stories that are blatantly not true or exaggerated to the point that they are beyond laughable. His best one was claiming to have been on the bench for Stevenage when they drew with Newcastle in the FA Cup in then late 90's. Someone checked this out and asked him why his name didn't appear in any of the reports online giving the team line ups. His excuse was that a) He'd had a different name back then, and b) He'd also been playing under someone else's name as he was meant to be suspended. I'm pretty sure he brought in a picture of the team and claimed to be some guy who looked nothing like him, beyond having the same colour of hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irvine_buddie Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 10 hours ago, Kennboy1978 said: Yup, you've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife. Also his Dad found £12000 down the back of the couch, stopped an armed robber outside a bookies in Paisley and gave his wife 4 orgasms before she woke up. (Not in the same day, that WOULD be unbelievable) The annoying thing is you start thinking - Can you fit £12000 down the back of the couch ? Strange I never heard about that armed robbery gone wrong. How does he know she orgasmed ? Is that not rape ? NO BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN !!!! Must be a close family to discuss that at the dinner table Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I had to dismiss someone at work who was a compulsive liar. If I'd kept a tally her parents had probably died six times and she'd fallen pregnant and lost a baby six or seven times within three months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 One guy on my college course years ago claimed to be a massive womaniser, he often told the story of how he lost his virginity - However the story changed so many times, it would be in Magaluf, then it was Tenerife, then it was behind a shop in North Muirton, then at a house party. The same guy once claimed to be late because he had went home with an older woman who wouldnt let him leave until he shagged her again that morning, this was found to be false immediately when another classmate who had been out with him revealed he had went back to his house, then threw up everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I worked at Argos years ago and a girl was fired for refunding items to herself. They used to sell cheapy watches on the shop floor for a fiver and she would just refund them and pocket the fiver. This went undetected for ages until a stock check was completed and there was about 50 refunded watches missing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 18 hours ago, mizfit said: I pretend i know what i'm meant to be doing at work. I've been doing that for 43 years. So far, so good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 4 hours ago, Shandon Par said: I had relations with a Aussie girl at work one day (Saturday afternoon, we were boozing and not doing much work). She said "your p***k is magnificent" and that I was "the best shag she'd had since she came to England" and it gave me a new fondness for Australians. No desire to ever go there though. ^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I once told a bird I had a small cock cause I didn't want to shag her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 4 hours ago, John Lambies Doos said: I once told a bird I had a small cock cause I didn't want to shag her Facts You Didn't Make Up thread for this pish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I once worked with a complete simpleton. We used to wind him up, it would be a competition to get him to believe the tallest tales.I told him that my old man had found a wad of cash down the back of a couch he had bought in the yellow paper. I also told him that when I was at a St Mirren game I foiled a robbery in Ladbrokes by letting the air out of the getaway cars' tyres.He had the last laugh though when he made up a story about me being a rapist and telling everyone on an Internet forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kennboy1978 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I once worked with a complete simpleton. We used to wind him up, it would be a competition to get him to believe the tallest tales.I told him that my old man had found a wad of cash down the back of a couch he had bought in the yellow paper. I also told him that when I was at a St Mirren game I foiled a robbery in Ladbrokes by letting the air out of the getaway cars' tyres.He had the last laugh though when he made up a story about me being a rapist and telling everyone on an Internet forum. B°°°y is that you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Guy I was at school with said he got clipped on the shoulder by a low flying jet when he was out walking his dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Guy I was at school with said he got clipped on the shoulder by a low flying jet when he was out walking his dog. Someone using a Karcher to wash their car clipped him with a stray blast? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverton End Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 I worked at Argos years ago and a girl was fired for refunding items to herself. They used to sell cheapy watches on the shop floor for a fiver and she would just refund them and pocket the fiver. This went undetected for ages until a stock check was completed and there was about 50 refunded watches missing You get stuff like this all the time in the bookies. Best one I can think off the top of my head was someone taking 3000 to be banked and betting it on a 4/7 shot instead. Obvs the horse was smashed into second place by a rank outsider and they had to go back to the shop and tell the cashier and their marketplace manager what had happened. They claimed to have a gambling problem and got away without getting the sack! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 We had a guy just started with us when we worked a week in hand, so he wouldn't get paid the first week. On payday he went round the building quietly asking to borrow £20 to tide him over, raised about £400. Never saw him again. He'd been there 2 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kennboy1978 Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 We had a guy just started with us when we worked a week in hand, so he wouldn't get paid the first week. On payday he went round the building quietly asking to borrow £20 to tide him over, raised about £400. Never saw him again. He'd been there 2 days. Hope he put it all on a sure fire 4/7 shot and lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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