Teacher meltdowns

[Shandon Par]

I knew of a Dunfermline primary assistant head who got done for drink driving. Her partner, the head of the same school turned up at the police station in his car to pick her up and promptly got done for being equally hammered behind the wheel. 

[Dindeleux]

Amazing topic.

At school we had a French teacher who was a complete cow (Mrs Rogers - Kilwinning Academy circa 2000).

She had a breakdown one day because she turned her back on the class and someone threw an egg at her.  it smashed against the wall and all over he and she turned around and started crying.

Was funny at the time but of course not so funny now.

 

The wee French dictionaries were good for throwing too.

[throbber]

You realise how much of a c**t you were as a youth when you grow older. At that age you don't really care about the teachers feelings or whether or not they are having a bad day it's just so easy to disrespect them if you are going to get giggles/attention out of it.

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

The nasty b*****ds that taught me* deserved all the shite they got. IMO.

 

*Morgan Academy 1979.

[Hamish's Passenger]

Had a crazy classical studies teacher who also did Japanese and would kick his filing cabinet constantly or karate chop the desks if anyone wouldn't shut up.

We saw him outside work once and surrounded him shouting stuff from karate kid films.

Daniel son wax on wax off

[emoji38]
Again that was at Queen Anne. 

Biggest weirdo was Mr bonnar who used to spend his free time standing with binoculars watching everyone

He went psycho once and drove his car across the playing fields at us standing behind the games hall smoking. His car got stuck or slowed down and we all got away despite not being able to run for laughing.

 

Mr Lowrie (sp) was the kung fu teacher. I never actually had him, but on one occasion we had to move class and his room was free. I was so excited that, up until then myth was true, and his filing cabinet was dented to fook.

Ledge.

[Cream Cheese]

9 minutes ago, throbber said:

You realise how much of a c**t you were as a youth when you grow older. At that age you don't really care about the teachers feelings or whether or not they are having a bad day it's just so easy to disrespect them if you are going to get giggles/attention out of it.

The older I get, the more of a c**t I realize they were.

[EdgarusQPFC]

Again not meltdown related but we also had a Techie teacher who appeared to have a constant erection. There were conversations that it was just his trousers bunching up, like they are known to when you are sitting, except they were doing this as he stood and walked around.

[BFTD]

I get the impression that every school used to have a teacher who only joined the profession so they could batter young laddies. Thankfully I got out of that by being 6ft by the time I was twelve, but I certainly saw it happen.

Weirdest thing I remember was a strange clique of three female teachers that absolutely detested boys. The worst was the head of Art, whose lessons consisted of bringing in an object and telling us to draw it, while she sat at her desk and read. By halfway through the 'lesson', kids would start bringing their drawings up for her to inspect, and she'd give her critique and offer suggestions...if you were a girl. The boys universally got screamed at for a minute, before their picture was torn up. This was in first year, so the artsy lads were really hurt by it to start with. Eventually one of the class smart-arses started taking his drawing up and ripping it up himself at her desk before she'd even seen it, before heading back to his seat. Bizarrely, she seemed quite satisfied with this. Barmy.

[Kilbowie's Finest]

Wonder if I'll appear on any of these threads in twenty years time. Haven't had a meltdown yet, thankfully.

Just be careful Gaz that neither you or I appear in it just now - never mind 20 years time !

[D.A.F.C]

1 hour ago, Hamish's Passenger said:

 

Mr Lowrie (sp) was the kung fu teacher. I never actually had him, but on one occasion we had to move class and his room was free. I was so excited that, up until then myth was true, and his filing cabinet was dented to fook.

Ledge.

 

That's him, he looked a bit like the weird neighbour from Friday night dinner.

[Adam]

We had a couple of screamers at my school.

Mr Govan, who was a bawhair from retirement, was locked in the big cupboard in the techy room by some of the hard lads from Garthamlock. It was a month before our exams, and we had all spent plenty of time working on our portfolios to go along with our impending exams. He proceeded to take them and put them through the big f**k off saw in the cupboard he was locked in.

We had a supply French teacher, can't remember his name, who fatally provided us with the information he was a part time clown at the weekends. Showed us some cool tricks, but didn't stop us from slagging him silly. Once he screamed that he had had enough and ran from the room to get the head. Once he returned with her, my pal started singing that old circus song. He was regularly greeted with "Send in the Clowns" from the Krusty Komeback Special, which we would proceed to go bananas over.

Mojo Morrison was another belter, our Modern Studies teacher, who once ripped my jotter to pieces over a throwaway comment on my part.

Kids really are c***s.

[Bert Raccoon]

We used to have a History teacher called Mr Flight. Nice guy but wore big thick NHS specs and always seemed to have food stains all over his clothes. Also always seemed to have his fly down (he wasn't a beast as far as I know.) Anyway, old Mr Flight stayed with his mum and someone found out where he stayed so they went round and snowballed the f**k out his house. Unfortunately the fright actually killed his dear old mother. Needless to say he wasn't quite the same after that.

[Marsh]

We had a Chemistry teacher who had a nervous breakdown and stripped down to his Y's in the middle of a class. Was back after 6 months as if nothing had happened.

[heedthebaa]

I was sparked out by my PE teacher 34 years ago, last week I bought an ice cream out his van. We didn't reminisce about the good old days 

[KnightswoodBear]

Not really a meltdown, but I had PE teacher who made me do laps of the pitches because I ripped the Pish out of him after he ballooned the ball over the bar from all of 1yd during a game of fitba.

Same guy left his wife to shack up with one of the female ballet dancers who had attended our school a couple of years previously.  She was of non beast age at the time so I still have a bit of grudging respect for him on that front, despite him being a collosal bell piece. 

[ICTChris]

This is a replay of my post about workplace banter pranks (prankter) but I don't really understand why being horrible to teachers is seen as such a hilarious thing.

I'm not much fun really.

[mizfit]

Anyone from Perth High school remember Mr. Hunter (the small tubby ginger one) I'd only just started secondary when he left but stories of his meltdowns continued well into my senior years.

[eez-eh]

6 hours ago, smpar said:

Another at Dunfermline High; a teacher took a phone call from the Rector, during which call everyone in the class was particularly noisy. After hanging up the phone, the teacher ranted about how rude and inconsiderate that was, ending her rant with "unbelievable!". My mate, inadvertently, followed up with "you're unbelievable" like the EMF song. The teacher snapped at that point, and sprinted out the room in floods of tears.

Feel quite bad tbh.

That very song was playing on the TV as I read this post. Unbelievable. 

[Benjamin_Nevis]

Remember a few others from the late 80s/early 90s. 

Our PE Teacher in first year was a guy called Euan Matthew, laid back and sound as f**k. He even managed to "accidentally" gives us double PE because a game of football was level so he played on meaning we missed half of double maths. Glorious. However he left for a job in Perth and was replaced by a very serious, quite short guy called Mr Hearn. We soon discovered Mr Hearn played juniors for Forfar Albion, so naturally we went along to a game and harangued him for much of the game. His revenge was brutal, PE the following 2 weeks consisted entirely of Scottish country dancing. When we did get to play football, we dreaded it, as if the numbers were odd, he'd play as well and take pleasure in skinning/halfing a bunch of first years. 

The most unfortunate teacher there was Mrs "Titless" Tait. She taught French and German and seemed to get landed with the "ned" intake class almost every year. I didn't end up in any of her classes but by all accounts they were utter mayhem. One episode featured an absolute no-hoper in third year, who clearly tiring of watching titless writing german words on the blackboard simply got up from his desk, sauntered over and wrote "c**t" in massive letters on it, before re-taking his seat as if nothing had happened. Unsurprisingly this resulted in one of several period off sick. TBH she endured some awful stuff in her long years at Websters, I'm amazed she lasted as long as she did. 

We also had a Modern Studies teacher called My Fyfe who left suddenly and in quite mysterious circumstances. Allegedly he'd locked a third year girl in a cupboard who he'd kept back for detention. 

Other breakdowns were visited upon both our music teachers of the time, Miss Donald and Mr Campbell. Miss Donald was an absolutely stereotypical spinster-type teacher who could have been lifted straight out of a St Trinians's type film, but with a highly obvious birthmark on her forehead, and Mr Campbell was a raging piss artist. During the 8 week period from start of the new term in August to the tattie holidays, every week someone had to take a turn to wind her up, this featured nonsense such as all of us drawing red birthmarks on our heads as a "tribute", to putting a whoopee cushion under her piano stool cushion. To her credit, when she sat on the whoopee cushion she calmly walked to the room next door, returned with a pair of scissors, cut it in half and continued playing the piano without so much as a raised eyebrow. She eventually lost it though when one of the class repeatedly asked her for a punishment exercise. During her sick leave we got Mr Campbell who absolutely reeked of booze. 

Last but not least was the absolutely psychotic "Grandad" Thompson, who taught Geography. Actually I'm not sure he actually did as most of his lessons involved him shouting at his pupils. He had an utterly mental obsession that everyone had to bring a pen, pencil, rubber and ruler to class, and woe-be-tide anyone who forgot and of these crucial items, at best this would result in a withering and very loud telling off in front of everyone, at worst a smack across the knuckle with a ruler. He did this to the wrong boy once and was sparked out by a first year. Grandad was genuinely unhinged though and seemed to hate his class, the subject, in fact pretty much everything. To be fair, he'd probably had a lifetime of teaching utter c***s. 

 

[Zetterlund]

I remember a Spanish teaching assistant being reduced to floods of tears and stamping feet when she had to take a class on her own. She had a limited grasp of English and struggled to understand the strong accents which didn't help, but she lost it when a few smart-arses started looking up lots of sexual innuendo in Spanish and shouting it out. Poor lass must have only been about 18.