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April fools day


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The friends we are staying wth have a golden retriever and I wanted to get a stuffed replica and plant it on its back on the front lawn so they thought it was dead whilst the real dog hid with a neighbour. Couldn't find a stuffed dog in time though, story of my life.

:lol:

My other half tried to catch me out with her waters had burst and into labour as I was travelling to work. I work right beside the hospital regardless but it was a pretty shan attempt. She the messaged my mum saying she had won£100k on a scratch card and iMessaged a photo of a legit winning card, my mum was at her door within half an hour all excited for her etc :lol:

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Missus has a bit of flu and my daughter offered to make her a cup of tea this morning. She stuck a load of salt in it. Must run in the family. I stuck a load of white spirits in an ex girlfriend's hot chocolate. I thought she'd smell it and see the (vaguely) funny side but my plan failed and she took a big gulp.

That's fucking terrible.

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:lol:

My other half tried to catch me out with her waters had burst and into labour as I was travelling to work. I work right beside the hospital regardless but it was a pretty shan attempt. She the messaged my mum saying she had won£100k on a scratch card and iMessaged a photo of a legit winning card, my mum was at her door within half an hour all excited for her etc :lol:

 

Your other half sounds like an absolute idiot.

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A guy I worked nightshift with years ago on a Saturday night always phoned home for the lottery numbers religiously every week. Before we had ready access to internet etc etc.

 

I was standing beside him when he was getting the numbers one week, with my ticket in my hand, and as he wrote them down I had 5 plus the bonus (in the days when that would have been a few hundred thousand). I was jumping around the office like an absolute lunatic.

 

He kept it in for about 30 seconds before bursting out laughing. The wee b*****d had rifled my pocket when I was out of the office and took a note of my numbers. He was on the phone to no one, writing these numbers down which he'd either memorised or written somewhere else out of my sight to copy. I wanted to kill him, but saw the funny side - eventually.

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I know people who have recorded the lottery the weekend before and used those numbers and then tricked their other half. Pretty cruel tbh, its also shitting on your own door step as for a moment your other half will think you and her are about to embark on an exciting new life together so you must have a severe screw loose to do that to someone who you care about. 

 

Doing it to Rugster is fine though.

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  • 11 months later...

Might have been mentioned but one of those "Rangers loyal" pages put up that there would be a minutes silence for Martin McGuinness at Ibrox.

The seethe is tremendous, grown men so wound up they've gone on huge rants about how they'd rather have a silence for Bin Laden.

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18 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

Pornhub has Apparently PorhHub has an April Fool where is flags up "Automatic video sharing switched on" and says it has automatically shared your viewing history on your social media accounts. 

I saw that on Twitter.  It's literally been the only April Fools prank that has made me laugh.  

Twitter and other Social Media is awash with shite from large companies trying to outdo each other with wacky, mind-numbingly obvious stuff that dribbling morons appear to fall for.

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2 minutes ago, throbber said:

 


I believe you KB.

 

I've got to make some attempt at covering my tracks ffs. 

I bet there was millions of instantaneous losses of tumescence around the world yesterday when that appeared on the screen.

I use Tube Galore btw. 

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I've got to make some attempt at covering my tracks ffs. 
I bet there was millions of instantaneous losses of tumescence around the world yesterday when that appeared on the screen.
I use Tube Galore btw. 


I've never even heard of that one.
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  • 11 months later...
12 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Somebody on one of the Brechin threads saying Darren Dods had resigned. ****.

Same on Dundee Utd thread, a post saying Laszlo had gone.

Was going to make a post on Sons Sorrow saying Aitken was going to set up to attack for the rest of the season, but that would have been the most blatant April Fool's joke ever.

#banter

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