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Modern shite patter


Hampden Diehard

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No no. Big Dan was MY English teacher.

Did we have this conversation before? I'm pretty sure I've discussed it with someone. He certainly taught at Dalziel in Motherwell for a while.

His nickname was Lurch ( from the Adams Family ) not Dan ffs!

We did have this conversation before. I told you that when Rutherglen Academy closed Lurch chose not to Tupe over to the new school at Cathkin. He instead decided to drop a division and transferred to darkest Dalziel ;)

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This one. "Out for dinner with this one" or "Can't wait for 2 weeks holiday with this one", usually accompanied by numerous emojis and a duckface photo.

Frightening. "Standard of the Premier League is frightening this year". Unless Watford v Bournemouth actually terrifies you, please shut up.

This emoji that gets added to virtually every post on Facebook. It looks like LMAO, ROFL and PMSL rolled into one. Tears streaming out the eyes. And usually one isn't enough, folk need to put down 5 or 6 of them to prove they found the comment funny.

94f03e8e72647373f93d5271ee594cfb.png

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Stopped reading at piece tbh.

There was footage on the news the other night of flowers that were left at the scene of the little boy who burned himself to death in Aberdeen. The cameraman zoomed in on one of the cards which read 'You are at piece now wee man'.

Shite patter.

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This emoji that gets added to virtually every post on Facebook. It looks like LMAO, ROFL and PMSL rolled into one. Tears streaming out the eyes. And usually one isn't enough, folk need to put down 5 or 6 of them to prove they found the comment funny.

94f03e8e72647373f93d5271ee594cfb.png

Serves you right for bothering your erse with anything remotely Facebookey. This here little nest of vipers should carry more than enough crap to fill anyone's empty time.

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The cameraman zoomed in on one of the cards which read 'You are at piece now wee man'.

Does this mean he was having his lunch, perhaps his play piece if he was at school?

Won't be at peace until I know!

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The description of a song as a "banger"

Handily enough, not only are people who describe a song as such to be avoided, the song is too.

To add to that; people saying 'can someone cook me some mash for all these bangers that are out rn!'

Fucking gimps.

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Weren't tits being referred to as 'bangers' for a while? Pretty dreadful name for something so lovely. 'Gash' is another one that seems like it was invented by someone who found the idea of sex quite unpleasant. Or the Marquis de Sade.

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Not modern, but dicks that say "as you do" after something ridiculous. "Woke up with what looked like shit all over my chest, wiped it off with the wifes nighty and tucked it behind the wardrobe.....as you do".

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Not modern, but dicks that say "as you do" after something ridiculous. "Woke up with what looked like shit all over my chest, wiped it off with the wifes nighty and tucked it behind the wardrobe.....as you do".

Do you know people who are characters from The Fast Show?

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Fam

Bae

Be Like

smh - (shaking my head) had to google what that one meant

doe, dat & dem (instead of though, that & them)

No chill/netflix and chill

Not patter i suppose but all these face swap things

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