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Beastisms


Rugster

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f**k all wrong with calling it a chipper!

c***s that use a pedometer! Whats the point? Sounds close to peado-meter!

It's quite blatantly a chipper.

Chippy sounds like a pet name.

Also, is heely an acceptable for the name of the first and last hard slice of bread?

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Below are practices/phrases which clearly define people who should be on the register:

Please feel free to add any I have missed below and the list will be updated.

  • Referring to Toasted cheese as Roasted cheese - should be a hanging offence
  • Sitting down in the shower - if the size of shower allows it (eg in a swanky hotel), I like to sleep off a hangover in the shower
  • Wearing a belt made of anything other than leather - guilty. What's the problem? I like a belt that cuts a dash and is easy to get tight
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c***s that use a pedometer! Whats the point? Sounds close to peado-meter!

That's no coincidence. Can't say I know any men that use them but I hear girls discussing (often when they are tucking into booze/chips) about how many steps they have done that day.

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What are 'folding' spectacles? :unsure:

I thought all spectacles folded...though I may just have outed myself as a beast.

Edit:

Men who wear white t-shirts underneath their shirt, not only that but they undo their top button to show the world of their beasty dress sense.

I sort of did that at school, but with a football top underneath so I could whap the shirt off and become Bryan Prunty in seconds during lunchtime. It wasn't always a white top either, quite often wore the gold and yellow ones as well.

This post may see me locked up :(

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Sit down showers need removed from the list. They form part 1 of the 3 step hangover recovery plan.

I'm with you on this one.

Can we also add people getting curry sauce on fish from the chippy (not the chipper Donnie you beast)

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I fear we both have. I don't wear gleebs (tap20/20) but I thought all glasses folded.

Either that or there is glasses which 'fold' that I've never seen in my life.

I'm already in the queue at the opticians to complain that he made me out myself as a beast on a public forum. I'll need to make up for lost time with these non-folding glasses.

I wear contacts everywhere that isn't the house anyway, so nobody outside of P&B shall know my (clearly) dirty secret.

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Men who wear white t-shirts underneath their shirt, not only that but they undo their top button to show the world of their beasty dress sense.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! A gentleman should always wear an undergarment under his shirt to prevent sweat staining. This may take the form of a "V" or crew necked t-shirt, though I would draw the line at wearing a vest. Vests are for beasts.

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