Granny Danger Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Get her a really nice card, funny rather than lovey dovey, and a signed photo of John Hughes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) Her: "I've bought this jacket, do you like it?" Me: "Aye, it's nice, looks good on you. That could be your Christmas present if you want?" Her: "Yeah, just wrap it this time though" Easy. Am I f**k paying £22 quid for 28 tiny chocolates. Thanks for the tip, but I think I'll shop around. Some Lindt perhaps... Order some Cocoa Mountain chocolates and you'll get your hole for sure. £20 is far cheaper than your standard decent hooker, I think. Edited December 11, 2015 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuctifano Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Just leaving "kick her in the pie" here for later quoting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDcups Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Pump her maw/sister is my advice to everything. Unless your from leith then pump your maw/sister. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) Where will she keep her spices and takeaway menu's? In the empty chocolate box. (Lined with a scarf is optional.) Edited December 11, 2015 by Jacksgranda 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) Just leaving "kick her in the pie" here for later quoting. Might as well add "get her pumped" for the same reason. That and "burst her" Eta: who was it on here that was involved in the classic inflatable girlfriend in the cinema thread again? Edited December 11, 2015 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I'm a fantastic husband. StephenMalkamus - always go a bit too far, don't go insanely overboard but just think what you'd get her and do a little extra. So if you are going to get her a present, get a nice present (scarf sounds good, keep the receipt though) but get her something extra, maybe a little keepsake type thing. When you wrap the scarf hide roll up the little thing in it so it falls out on her when she opens it and she gets a wee surprise. If you're a bit more serious then just upgrade this, to the point where you buy her a new house and when she opens the front door a pony runs out. The only relationship advice I'd give to anyone is just take things easy and try and be relaxed. No point going apeshit and getting all het up too early. Also, don't get caught fucking a stripper when you think your wife is at work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen Malkmus Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) She's into organic stuff so got these and a fancy card: http://www.naturalcollection.com/shop/green---blacks-tasting-collection---395g-by-green-and-blacks/?PCode=DSGPESS15&gclid=CMD8zobT1MkCFUi3GwodCJoKCA Will get a scarf nearer the time. Edited December 11, 2015 by Stephen Malkmus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I'm a fantastic husband. StephenMalkamus - always go a bit too far, don't go insanely overboard but just think what you'd get her and do a little extra. So if you are going to get her a present, get a nice present (scarf sounds good, keep the receipt though) but get her something extra, maybe a little keepsake type thing. When you wrap the scarf hide roll up the little thing in it so it falls out on her when she opens it and she gets a wee surprise. If you're a bit more serious then just upgrade this, to the point where you buy her a new house and when she opens the front door a pony runs out. The only relationship advice I'd give to anyone is just take things easy and try and be relaxed. No point going apeshit and getting all het up too early. Also, don't get caught fucking a stripper when you think your wife is at work. Sound advice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 She's into organic stuff so got these and a fancy card: http://www.naturalcollection.com/shop/green---blacks-tasting-collection---395g-by-green-and-blacks/?PCode=DSGPESS15&gclid=CMD8zobT1MkCFUi3GwodCJoKCA Will get a scarf nearer the time. That seems a good choice. I once went out with a girl who as part of my Christmas present bought me a block of hash and then stripped off and performed a solo sex show for me. She was mental. I think her mum stole 200 fags from her work for my Christmas as well. You could do any of those Stephen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Rational Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I'm disappointed that nobody has suggested anything about a chocolate star fish yet. Standards are slipping these days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 She's into organic stuff so got these and a fancy card: http://www.naturalcollection.com/shop/green---blacks-tasting-collection---395g-by-green-and-blacks/?PCode=DSGPESS15&gclid=CMD8zobT1MkCFUi3GwodCJoKCA Will get a scarf nearer the time. Get her a bottle of formic acid. Get her a handwoven organic scarf dipped in formic acid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 He's not in a second year techy class! I think he got him confused with Mr Bairn! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen Malkmus Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) I once went out with a girl who as part of my Christmas present bought me a block of hash and then stripped off and performed a solo sex show for me. She was mental. I think her mum stole 200 fags from her work for my Christmas as well. Are you confusing being in a relationship with spending a night under the influence in Amsterdam? Seriously though, I bet you regret not marrying her every day. Edited December 11, 2015 by Stephen Malkmus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Why do you never see a goth on tinder? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Sound advice. Is the highlighted bit why ICTchris is a bad person. I'm a cheap ride, only like cadburys chocolate. None this expensive stuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grass Is Greener. Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Build her a spice rack. Genuinely lol'd there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grass Is Greener. Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Wait until nearer Christmas and buy her £22 worth of advent calendars. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 images.jpg Wid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Rational Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 images.jpg Did Katona really go on telly like that? She's off her tits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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