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Burns Night


FlyerTon

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u've hurt your finger? Puir wee man!

Your pinkie? Deary me!

Noo, juist you haud it that wey till

I get my specs and see!

My, so it is - and there's the skelf!

Noo, dinna greet nae mair.

See there - my needle's gotten't out!

I'm sure that wasna sair?

And noo, to make it hale the morn,

Put on a wee bit saw,

And tie a Bonnie hankie roun't

Noo, there na - rin awa'!

Your finger sair ana'? Ye rogue,

You're only lettin' on.

Weel, weel, then - see noo, there ye are,

Row'd up the same as John!

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I used to quite like Burns night

To celebrate our Bard

A guid auld Burns Supper

To beat one was quite hard

But yince you've been to wan or two

They tend to be the same

In fact they're fucking boring and truth be told, quite lame

The same auld shite regurgitated at this time every year

Both in verse and song, with words that sound quite queer

If you huvnae been, don't feel left oot, cause the truth is they're quite rank

Yur better biding in the hoose and ha'en a guid auld w**k

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To A Lavvy Cubicle

Some come here to read and write

Some come here to wonder

But I come here to have a good shite

And fart away like thunder

Part 2

Some come here to sit and think

Some come here to shit and stink

But I come here to scratch my balls

And read the writing on the walls

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To A Lavvy Cubicle

Some come here to read and write

Some come here to wonder

But I come here to have a good shite

And fart away like thunder

Part 2

Some come here to sit and think

Some come here to shit and stink

But I come here to scratch my balls

And read the writing on the walls

When all you great shithouse writers die

There will be erected in the sky

A tribute to your noble wit

A bloody great mountain of solid shit

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