Lisa Cuddy Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 LMAO. WHOOSH! Well, quite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 It was this massive rubber thing that I saw in this joke shop in Glasgow think it was near Jamaica street but I went through a phase of doing stupid stuff on a whim and then growing to regret it afterwards. I was 18 at time so a fair while ago! I thought it'd be opened and we would all laugh as a family but it was just awkward as f**k everyone was mortified and I'm pretty sure it went straight in the bin after. I honestly don't know what I was expecting but at the time I thought we would al laugh about it It was honestly the size of a large lucozade bottle and it has a very clear blue vain running thru it One x mas my folks got me an n64 and my sister who was 11 at the time got a scanner, that was pretty fucked up but at least we look back and laugh That's amazing. I wouldn't have the balls to do that... Parents would have me killed. Pretty sure it went in the bin....? Hmmmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 That's amazing. I wouldn't have the balls to do that... Parents would have me killed. Pretty sure it went in the bin....? Hmmmmm. Via my fathers anus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Bought someone a bag of haribos and left it in the coop bag for secret Santa... Christ, that sounds magic compared to a lot of the shite people buy each other in offices. Bought my sister a dildo when she was about 19as I thought it'd be funny but it really wasn't and I despair every time I think back Gadzooks, Throbster, that's a bit strong Something a bit smaller than a Subway footlong would more appropriate for a teenage sister, surely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southside Hibee Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 The dreaded umbro gift set is never a fun prospect to open on christmas day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 My homophobic present caused a co-worker to quit their job. Apparently. Long time ago, a new laddie joined the company I worked for right before Christmas, and I was allocated him for Secret Santa. Had never even spoken to the bloke, so I had no idea what to get. Got the wife to look for something as I was working a seven-day week and never saw the shops. She settled on some joke cosmetics that she saw somewhere; they were supposed to have magical properties. You know, the kind of Christmas keich you see dotted around at this time of year. Found out after the holiday that the bloke had quit because of the level of homophobia in the company. One of his examples was that his Secret Santa had given him toiletries with a picture of a fairy on. Y'know, the fairy that was supposed to enchant the soap with magic powers, or some such shit. I'd no idea that the guy was gay, but even so, there's no way I'd have guessed anyone would have taken that as a slur on their sexuality. The shame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 the dildo thing is completely made up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 the dildo thing is completely made up It's really not, you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Not Christmas but I once gave my Mum a nice bunch of daffodils for Mother's Day. Because she is by nature, a cynical and suspicious woman, she refused to believe I had bought them. Shocked at this smear on my character, I protested long and hard but finally gave in and admitted that yes, they may have accidentally fallen out of somebody's garden. Possibly the lack of shop-type wrapping gave me away. Or the dirt hanging off the bottom of them. Either way, she made me take them back to the neighbour and apologise. The bloke was quite sound about it, probably because he could barely contain his laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 My mum once said she wanted nothing, saying "don't bother getting me anything, I don't want you buying me a present." Got her nothing and she went mental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I have fucked up my sisters christmas presant (ish) My step dad loves the haribo, so i bought him 5 bags of haribo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 My mother-in-law's partner got one of those wee kegs of Heineken from my m-law's brother one year - it was three months out of date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 My work gave me an expensive bottle of wine and it's getting flipped right over to my maw. Same gift bag hingy and everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 My mum once said she wanted nothing, saying "don't bother getting me anything, I don't want you buying me a present." Got her nothing and she went mental. My mums done that too, she just about hit the deck when my dad started backing me up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 :lol: If I could give you a hundred green dots I would! Even if it's blatant lies, brilliant, if only for the pant-pishing giggles this story has given me! Certainly the most popular post of mine , I'm not making it up as well I'm an actual moron and we have moved on as a family since but glad some people liked it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 What a strange name for your sisters vagina You've clearly not smelt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 It was the worst decision I ever made I doubt that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booj Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 My mum once said she wanted nothing, saying "don't bother getting me anything, I don't want you buying me a present." Got her nothing and she went mental. I done that on mothers day once, went mental and got swiftly sent up to asda to get her flowers and chocolates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 the dildo thing is completely made up Raging cause you never thought of it. Nae luck cunto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Wheely? Dusty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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