killiefan27 Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Just read this thread from start to finish. Absolute gold. I once in my younger days foolishly went to an engagement party with cans of Guinness. Had about eight of the b*****ds, not to mention the Indian food which was laid on. Sadly this party was rather out of my neck of the woods, so I stayed in the house of the bride and groom to be. The following morning, both sets of parents came round for a breakfast. Now, I'm not habitually a Guinness drinker, so I thought I'd be safe with a wee silent one. They say everyone loves their own brand, but fuck me this was even making me gag. If I didn't know better, I'd have assumed I'd shat myself. Luckily it was decided that no human could have made that smell, and the elderly dog was sent outside with talk of a vet's appointment, as "she must having something wrong with her". I assume the dog wasn't put down as a result, but I don't quite have the courage to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 For those who enjoy a good trouser cough, I can highly recommend eating Ryvita Cracked Black Pepper Crispbreads. Eats 4 or 5 of the fuckers with some Mexicana cheese sliced onto them. The results are both rank and magnificent in equal measure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Dropped a fuckin howler at home the other day. My 10 year old daughter said it smelt like "eggy death". Very descriptive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Time to post this again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Working away from home this week and given a private room to work in. No-one had come in for ages. I'd had three days of cooked breakfasts, eating out and a few experimental pints of varying type and quality. I'd been far ting like a brewery horse all day, thick sulphurous ones. Inevitably some woman came in. It was an short, awkward conversation as be both pretended not to notice the elephant in the room. You could have cut the reek with a knife and I could still smell it if I left and came back in. It reminded me of my car, which the aftersmell never seems to completely go away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BallochSonsFan Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 It's amazing how cars trap smells. A typical night out when I was a student would be union for pool and then pakora on the way home. I never did manage to get the smell out my car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broony88 Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Had an awkward experience with a lass who needed a run home from work. Must have been popping them out for fun on the way to work, not exactly ideal when the 19 year old lassie gets in and you realise how much the car smells of old fart. Didn't even try to deflect just told her the truth that my wet golf shoes had been in the back for over a week and had been starting to smell the last few days. My golf shoes were tucked up in the cupboard under the stairs waiting patiently for winter to pass but she wasn't to know. I haven't been asked for another lift home since which is a bit of a result as she lives a good ten min detour from my house but didn't want to see her stuck. Farts seem to have done the trick though . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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