D.A.F.C Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/15891770.UPDATED__Traffic_chaos_over_after_police_incident_in_Dunfermline_town_centre/ Topless man throws rocks at cars and brings Dunfermline town centre to a standstill. "she's turned the weans against you mate aye?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilbowie's Finest Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 http://www.clydebankpost.co.uk/news/15889669.Dairylea_Dunkers_stolen_in_Clydebank_flat_raid/Clydebank Post - first for the big stories[emoji85] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Fabio the robot sacked by Margiotta (middle class local shops for Edinburgh for those of you in the provinces). Presumably for giving duff directions to the hummous. https://www.insider.co.uk/news/robot-hired-edinburgh-supermarket-fired-11892140 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Quote After Smith was arrested the police searched his static caravan in Hinckley Road, Sapcote, where they found ten soiled nappies, women’s underpants and a teddy bear. http://www.nottinghampost.com/news/uk-world-news/man-who-treats-horse-like-886154 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernLights Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Haggis ice cream to be piped thorough Aberdeen city centre 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernLights Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Aberdeen woman sentenced after faking her own kidnapping to extort £2,000 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 (edited) Major incident in Moray: Call out the police, fire, ambulance, everyone : Old woman drives car into car park wall From the look of the car in the photo, two fire crews who 'released her from the car' probably means someone pushed the air-bag aside? Edited January 30, 2018 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Not very local but this smuggling attempt seems a bit brazen. Five held in £50m cocaine seizure at Farnborough Airport 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Dundee thief found guilty of impersonating Pete Townshend https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/thief-found-guiltyafter-two-day-trial/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 5 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Not very local but this smuggling attempt seems a bit brazen. Five held in £50m cocaine seizure at Farnborough Airport I'm not an expert on smuggling coke but a bunch of blokes getting a private jet from Colombia to a small airport in Hampshire might trigger some suspicions. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 3 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: I'm not an expert on smuggling coke but a bunch of blokes getting a private jet from Colombia to a small airport in Hampshire might trigger some suspicions. I can only think they were told the local plod etc had been paid off. Maybe by the plod. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 5 minutes ago, welshbairn said: I can only think they were told the local plod etc had been paid off. Maybe by the plod. Folk get rumbled after turning coke into dog kennels, turning it into paint and painting stuff with it so have to admire the "f**k it, just bung it in a suitcase like something out of a 1980s cop movie" approach. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5322469/Vicar-protesting-against-Star-Wars-showing-Sabbath.html 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 17 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Folk get rumbled after turning coke into dog kennels, turning it into paint and painting stuff with it so have to admire the "f**k it, just bung it in a suitcase like something out of a 1980s cop movie" approach. Reminds me of the scene in a Police Squad episode (or maybe it was one of the Naked Gun films) where they take a drug smuggler's car to bits trying to find where he's hidden the stuff - they eventually discover it in the glove compartment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 20 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Folk get rumbled after turning coke into dog kennels, turning it into paint and painting stuff with it so have to admire the "f**k it, just bung it in a suitcase like something out of a 1980s cop movie" approach. I had an idea I liked for smuggling LSD by saturating my passport in the stuff. You'd probably get thousands of hits when you cut it up into doses. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 1 minute ago, welshbairn said: I had an idea I liked for smuggling LSD by saturating my passport in the stuff. You'd probably get thousands of hits when you cut it up into doses. The passport staff going ga-ga after handling your passport may have aroused some suspicions. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 23 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Looks like Papa John is opening another pizza place in Dundee. And in case you cant imagine what that would look like, the Evening Telegraph have done this potentially Oscar winning mock up for you. https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/papa-johns-pizza-chain-open-second-takeaway-dundee/ "The Tele approached Papa John’s for further comment, but the firm remained tight-lipped." They were probably thinking "Where the f**k is Dundee?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Twilly Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 (edited) http://metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/ How dairy? Edited February 1, 2018 by Ben Twilly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 5 minutes ago, Ben Twilly said: http://metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/ How dairy? "Curno, who uses a walking stick, was also spotted by two sisters – from their home nearby – who reported seeing him insert his left arm up to his shoulder into the back end of a cow. He then allegedly performed a solo sex act." Left arm up the cow, pulling himself off with his right - how did he hold the stick? Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/?ito=cbshare Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Twilly Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, GordonD said: "Curno, who uses a walking stick, was also spotted by two sisters – from their home nearby – who reported seeing him insert his left arm up to his shoulder into the back end of a cow. He then allegedly performed a solo sex act." Left arm up the cow, pulling himself off with his right - how did he hold the stick? Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/?ito=cbshare Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/ Very good point GordonD. I'm not sure if he really needs a walking stick though. He was able to run off with his boxers round his ankles, that's a skill I've never been able to master. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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