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Shite Local Festivals


Gaz

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I see that it's Lanimer Day in Lanark coming up over the next week or so. Closer to home we have the Bo'ness Fair (in which Tesco shut, because the staff refuse to work), the Grangemouth Galaday, Linlithgow Marches, Camelon Mariner's Day and so on.

Each of these festivals, from what I've seen, are just used as an excuse for a bunch of folk to get steaming drunk from 8am in the morning and seem to inevitably turn into bigoted song-fests in local pubs.

Anyone from P&B ever taken part in a shitey local festival and ended up in a dive of a local pub for a bigoted sing-song?

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I walked over to Condorrat (a village in Cumbernauld) and they had the Main Street draped in bunting. Apparently it's the Gala Day tomorrow, where I believe it's tradition to get some ugly lassie to be Gala Queen to make her feel good about herself.

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Back in my misspent youth playing in a brass band, Lockerbie after its gala day resembles downtown Baghdad circa 2003 at home Dumfries's Guid Nychburris (good neighbors) usually has a fair few brawls.

Lanimers day is pretty good actually.

Edited by Sloop John B
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Cant remember the last time i went to the Eyemouth herring queen. Health and safety fucked going on a wee jont on a boat and the local fannies are fighting with the not so local fannies by 7.00pm

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Do they hold it at the local sewage works?

Strangely no.

This is a recurring theme though,

The only time there was a pong over the town was about nine years ago when some sprats were trapped in the cassoon at the dockyard and perished.

the smell was with us for over a month.

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Cant remember the last time i went to the Eyemouth herring queen. Health and safety fucked going on a wee jont on a boat and the local fannies are fighting with the not so local fannies by 7.00pm

Went out for it once years ago and it was like a warzone. Got a taxi back to Berwick and some local came up and kicked my mate in the back and into the taxi as we were getting in. haha. Totally unprovoked.

The festivals in Berwick are fuckin shit. Centered around the same Leiper roundabout and the same mingin hogroast van thats on the street every day of the week. Spittal Gala and Tweedmouth Feast both awful. The Green Festival at the 5 Arches was actually decent, but wasn't on last year.

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I went to Lanimers in Lanark twice in the mid 90s and had a great time. I don't recall seeing much in the way of boxing but there were definitely folk blootered by early afternoon.

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"C In The Park" in Kilsyth last Saturday ended up in a death of a 14 year old of a drugs overdose, numerous arrests during the day and dawn raids through the week.

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