Depression

[JamieStevenson]

1 hour ago, capybara said:

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

Sorry for your loss mate, been seeing your updates on here for a while now. Just  know you did absolutely everything you could for him and although the circumstances have been quite horrible he will have cherished everything you did for him and all the time you spent by his side every step of the way. 

[supermik]

Sorry to hear that. Best wishes to your family and yourself.

[steelmen]

I was the same when my mum died a few weeks back. Really surprised about how calm I felt.

So sorry for you loss buddy.

[capybara]

Thanks one and all it is great all the messages I and the family are getting.

[SweeperDee]

Thanks one and all it is great all the messages I and the family are getting.

The battle comes a wee bit later down the line, bud. Always remember you have someone to talk to though; never feel like you can't open up to someone.

[pittsburgh phil]

Sorry for your loss capybara.

[Hedgecutter]

As some of you may be aware, I had some pretty low depression triggered by redundancy a couple of years ago (feels far more recent than that). After being prescribed medication and getting into work again which gives me a rather good sense of purpose, I feel that I'm back to 'normal' on a day to day basis.

 

However, if I happen to take a telling for whatever reason, then it can trigger some relatively low moments, far more than I would have had previously. This has me concerned that my depression is still actually lingering away in the background, waiting for some event to kick it off the serious stuff.

 

Can anybody here relate to this?

 

 

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

 

Should go without saying that I'm sorry to hear this too. The only bereavement I've had to deal with was when my mother told me about my grandfather's passing, where my similar calmness about it set my mother off on an emotional rant about how I obviously didn't care. Don't feel bad if you have any concerns along those lines.

[NorthernJambo]

Hedgey, I think the depression always lingers (unfortunately) mate. What your describing sounds similar to myself, although rather than when getting a telling off it's when I make a stupid decision (spending while drunk, or regretting something with hindsight) that trigger it. For the most part I just try to shrug it off, take a breath and try to make up for it. Not easy but I try to tell myself I'm not the first to make a mistake, this isn't the worst mistake in the history of mankind and I won't be the last to make a mistake. Beating myself up (not physically) is definitely something I'm guilty of.

[heedthebaa]

3 hours ago, capybara said:

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

Sorry to hear your news bud, by your posts you did everything you could to make his limited time left easier. All the best 

[8MileBU]

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

Condolances to you and your family Capybara.

[Bobby Skidmarks]

My condolences, Capybara.

[Dons_1988]

As some of you may be aware, I had some pretty low depression triggered by redundancy a couple of years ago (feels far more recent than that). After being prescribed medication and getting into work again which gives me a rather good sense of purpose, I feel that I'm back to 'normal' on a day to day basis.
 
However, if I happen to take a telling for whatever reason, then it can trigger some relatively low moments, far more than I would have had previously. This has me concerned that my depression is still actually lingering away in the background, waiting for some event to kick it off the serious stuff.
 
Can anybody here relate to this?
 
 

 
Should go without saying that I'm sorry to hear this too. The only bereavement I've had to deal with was when my mother told me about my grandfather's passing, where my similar calmness about it set my mother off on an emotional rant about how I obviously didn't care. Don't feel bad if you have any concerns along those lines.

As northernjambo says unfortunately it will always be there, the key is to know what triggers you and build up your defences for when these things happen.

I was absolutely flying up until about march, I stopped seeing the psychologist because every appointment I just came in and said I felt great. Then I suffered a bereavement and I went into a bit of a tailspin again. All the old symptoms came back, not wanting to get up, not wanting to speak to anyone, no concentration, no motivation, no confidence and more!

It made me realise that no matter how good I'm doing there is always a fragility to it and you can't get complacent.

The key is to catch it early and have people around you that you can say to that you're about to hit a bad moment. They can then help you through it. Worst thing you can do is retreat into your shell, or it is for me anyway.

[Theo Snelders]

10 hours ago, capybara said:

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

Sorry to hear of your loss Capybara, my condolances. You did your best by your Dad and you can maybe take some comfort in that in time.

[Theo Snelders]

7 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

As some of you may be aware, I had some pretty low depression triggered by redundancy a couple of years ago (feels far more recent than that). After being prescribed medication and getting into work again which gives me a rather good sense of purpose, I feel that I'm back to 'normal' on a day to day basis.

 

However, if I happen to take a telling for whatever reason, then it can trigger some relatively low moments, far more than I would have had previously. This has me concerned that my depression is still actually lingering away in the background, waiting for some event to kick it off the serious stuff.

 

Can anybody here relate to this?

I can pretty much relate to this. I am a culprit for beating myself up if I make a mistake. At present attempting to work on silencing my 'inner critic'. Not sure if you have one of those, but if you do, it's just a viscious circle which makes you feel worse about yourself and can tip into depression if it goes on long enough, just as Northernjambo says. As others have said too, unfortunately there are those of us who will always be prone to depression. Keep reminding yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it's not just you being stupid. It's also important to reward yourself for your hard work. Easier said than done!.

Edited May 24, 2017 by Theo Snelders

[sophia]

11 hours ago, capybara said:

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

You're not obliged to feel anything other than the way you feel capybara.

If its worth anything, the hours after I lost my mother were hours when I felt I was stoic and in control.

With the prism of time, I rather think that day and the days after brought with them a quiet determination to get through.

Fraternal strength to you and yours.

[welshbairn]

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

My Dad died nearly a year ago. Shut off the emotions because there was so much to sort out until the funeral when I almost burst out in tears in my speech. Still get a wee moment every day but we all die some day.

[John Lambies Doos]

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

Sorry to hear that. Stay strong, you did everything you could. Cherish the good times you had with your dad. He will always be your dad, and you will always love him.
Take care pal

[paranoid android]

13 hours ago, capybara said:

My dad died at 06:05 this morning. I am strangely calm.

I'm so sorry, pal.

[capybara]

my dads funeral tomorrow. 

[The_Kincardine]

2 minutes ago, capybara said:

my dads funeral tomorrow. 

Can't say much in reply, bud.  Burying a parent is a hard b*****d.