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OK, well...

5 months ago:      Suffered a life threatening illness which put me in hospital.

5 weeks ago:         Got laid off from my job of 16 years.

5 hours ago:           My mum died.

I'm not really big on superstitions but if these things really do come in threes, then I'm hoping that's me done, at least for a while.

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OK, well...
5 months ago:      Suffered a life threatening illness which put me in hospital.
5 weeks ago:         Got laid off from my job of 16 years.
5 hours ago:           My mum died.
I'm not really big on superstitions but if these things really do come in threes, then I'm hoping that's me done, at least for a while.

Sorry to read about your mum, shotgun. Can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through - thoughts to you and the family. I hope you can help each other come to terms with this.
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16 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

OK, well...

5 months ago:      Suffered a life threatening illness which put me in hospital.

5 weeks ago:         Got laid off from my job of 16 years.

5 hours ago:           My mum died.

I'm not really big on superstitions but if these things really do come in threes, then I'm hoping that's me done, at least for a while.

Sorry to hear about your mum. Was it out of the blue? Life can chuck these crappy spells at you. It's as if it's saying "well seeing as you're already in crisis mode, here's a bereavement, and here's another, and here's an illness while we're at it". Should give you a clear run of good times in the coming years.   

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3 minutes ago, NJ2 said:


Sorry to read about your mum, shotgun. Can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through - thoughts to you and the family. I hope you can help each other come to terms with this.

Thanks mate. Really though, the last one was the least painful of the three. She's 88 and has been deteriorating for a few years now, with dementia, Parkinson's and a couple of other things. This last few days she's been, to all intents and purposes, in a coma so we've just been waiting for the news. We said our goodbyes a while ago, when she was still lucid so I'm just glad we can metaphorically close the book.

 

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1 minute ago, Shandon Par said:

Sorry to hear about your mum. Was it out of the blue? Life can chuck these crappy spells at you. It's as if it's saying "well seeing as you're already in crisis mode, here's a bereavement, and here's another, and here's an illness while we're at it". Should give you a clear run of good times in the coming years.   

Thanks Shandon. I was typing my last reply when your post came up but no, we've been waiting for a while. 

I just noticed though, that I typed "She's 88" instead of "She was 88" and sadly/comically, that's made me tear up. Going to log off for a bit.

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Thanks mate. Really though, the last one was the least painful of the three. She's 88 and has been deteriorating for a few years now, with dementia, Parkinson's and a couple of other things. This last few days she's been, to all intents and purposes, in a coma so we've just been waiting for the news. We said our goodbyes a while ago, when she was still lucid so I'm just glad we can metaphorically close the book.
 

Sounds like it’s for the best then which helps soften the blow I’d guess. Hopefully you’re battling the illness, if not fully recovered already and I’m sure another job will come up, just need to try and keep the chin up. As Shandon says, hopefully that’s the shite out the way for a bit and you’ll get some happier times ahead
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Thanks Shandon. I was typing my last reply when your post came up but no, we've been waiting for a while. 
I just noticed though, that I typed "She's 88" instead of "She was 88" and sadly/comically, that's made me tear up. Going to log off for a bit.

I still get that with my dad and he died in May. Sometimes I just have to see his handwriting and it is a jolt. Take care.
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18 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

Sorry to hear about your mum. Was it out of the blue? Life can chuck these crappy spells at you. It's as if it's saying "well seeing as you're already in crisis mode, here's a bereavement, and here's another, and here's an illness while we're at it". Should give you a clear run of good times in the coming years.   

I wouldn't bank on it, I've went from well down the list in my family to firmly in the crosshairs in a few years, fortunately a lifetime of gambling my brains  out has allowed me compartmentalise all the shit that life throws my way, although I do wonder if my ability to "get on with it" is an abnormality in itself.

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This thread man. Its healthy but it doesnt half dredge up some stuff. Reading the last few posts prompted me to look through my emails where I know the only video in existence that has my mums voice in the background resides.

Then I looked at the script for my grandads funeral in 2012. First paragraph talks about my Grandad, my dad and my mum. Now they are all gone.

I know from experience that time blunts it but I also know from the nick I am in right this second that the scars never ever heal. Nor would I want them to.

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Last few weeks I’ve been feeling like absolute pish. 
Getting married in a couple of weeks which funnily enough hasn’t been stressful at all, came to a head yesterday big argument with the future wife and then had to head to work. Had some time at work and realised how I’ve been acting has not been right at all, snappy and closed off most of the time.
Been thinking about how I’ve been and know it’s something in my head that’s making me unhappy not a particular thing that’s happened (Dad left when I was 13, now 27) falling out with my mum and not spoke in close to 2 years. My brain is always thinking negatively and always has done. Even at school i always thought I’d be the person who died at school and no one would care. 
Now at 27 I have similar thoughts, tried calling the doctors today to get an appointment and next one is next Tuesday which isn’t great despite saying it was regarding mental health they said I couldn’t even speak to someone over the phone. 
In 2 minds about going back on medication, been on citalopram and fluoxetine in the past with mixed results, fluoxetine made me have some weird dreams at times that would wake me up in the middle of the night sweating but if it’s something physiological then perhaps meds would be for the best.
Going to keep trying for an earlier appointment as another week of this isn’t any good.
Edit to add I’ve removed myself from social media for a few days, no real reason but thought it could help so logged out of Facebook/ messenger/ twitter and Snapchat. 


Follow up to this I’ve now been put on Sertaline 50mg for the foreseeable future. 4-6 weeks to take effect so will see how that goes and the fight goes on.
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3 hours ago, gav-ffc said:

 


Follow up to this I’ve now been put on Sertaline 50mg for the foreseeable future. 4-6 weeks to take effect so will see how that goes and the fight goes on.

 

Be careful with Sertraline mate, its a proper c**t to come off of. Really bad withdrawal.

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Had a "down day" yesterday. Just think I got consumed with a few things. Felt quite disconnected and let things get the better of me.

After talking it through with my wife, taking a step back and putting things in perspective, I had a much better day today.

Its good to talk.

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5 minutes ago, capybara said:


I. On a 150 mg at the moment.

Sore one. There is brain zap thing that can happen when you come off them as well as the other withdrawl symptoms. Happened to someone I know, they really struggled.

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Sore one. There is brain zap thing that can happen when you come off them as well as the other withdrawl symptoms. Happened to someone I know, they really struggled.

I was on meds about 14 years ago and had little trouble coming of them. Around the time my dad died in May I was on sleeping tabs. I found it harder to give them up.
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47 minutes ago, johnnydun said:

Sore one. There is brain zap thing that can happen when you come off them as well as the other withdrawl symptoms. Happened to someone I know, they really struggled.

That brain zap thing is awful. I get it if I forget my venlafaxine. Which isn’t often. But you totally blank out momentarily. I came off them when I fell pregnant with second and third and each time as I reached reduced level I basically had a weekend like a junkie to clear system.

 

sleep meds even worse, 

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Been having a really bad time recently and tend to get a bit consumed with it all.

The Mrs told me a couple of nights ago it was starting to affect her and that she felt me pushing her away. As hard as it was to hear it was actually a good wake up call.

We had a really good talk about everything and feel like whilst not everything is resolved we’re at least back on the same page.

As mentioned a few posts above, it’s good to talk.

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7 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

Been having a really bad time recently and tend to get a bit consumed with it all.
 

We don't work at the same place, do we? Haha.

 

On 21/03/2018 at 20:43, johnnydun said:

Had a "down day" yesterday. Just think I got consumed with a few things. Felt quite disconnected and let things get the better of me.

 

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