Depression

[Stellaboz]

You've not gone as far as last time, for that be proud and a step in the right direction. Next time, save me some cake ffs.

[D.A.F.C]

Glad I gave up booze this year, already feel much better generally. Not saying I won't have a pint with a meal again but it's just not something I enjoy anymore. Have pretty much sorted out the issues with neighbours and learning to just ignore idiots at work or wherever. You can't expect everyone to be nice all the time and some people are dicks, utter fucking dickheads. It's how you react that controls it rather than letting them control you.

I don't  think I've had full blown depression but like DA I do feel isolated at times but have filled my life with things I enjoy and I'm into fitness again and hopefully having an easy outgoing interesting personality will help attract decent people. I did find having a group of negative dysfunctional friends can be worse for you tbh. It was just one way and based on getting wrecked all the time. 

Its easy to say but instead of wasting money on drink join a gym or even better take up a teamsport. Scotland is fucking shit with its hard man drinking culture, there's nothing macho about it.

[Shandon Par]

27 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Glad I gave up booze this year, already feel much better generally. Not saying I won't have a pint with a meal again but it's just not something I enjoy anymore. Have pretty much sorted out the issues with neighbours and learning to just ignore idiots at work or wherever. You can't expect everyone to be nice all the time and some people are dicks, utter fucking dickheads. It's how you react that controls it rather than letting them control you.

I don't  think I've had full blown depression but like DA I do feel isolated at times but have filled my life with things I enjoy and I'm into fitness again and hopefully having an easy outgoing interesting personality will help attract decent people. I did find having a group of negative dysfunctional friends can be worse for you tbh. It was just one way and based on getting wrecked all the time. 

Its easy to say but instead of wasting money on drink join a gym or even better take up a teamsport. Scotland is fucking shit with its hard man drinking culture, there's nothing macho about it.

Good stuff - just look at how much less aggro you get into in all the Pars threads (though our season being deathly boring probably helps). You can’t control the behaviour of others so you seem to have adjusted your outlook to give yourself a more peaceful existence. 

[D.A.F.C]

Thanks, I agree I am much more chilled. I was always trying to prove something or have a go about stuff. 

Learning to separate myself and avoid bad situations and not see everything as dark and against me is a step forward. It's very easy to let a bad situation drag you down. You need to fight it but not head on, sometimes walking away and letting others see it doesn't bother you shows real strength. Being in a constant cycle or boozing to forget then handover then Monday blues is shite. Giving up booze is much easier.

[Shotgun]

Just found out that the sweet, intelligent, beautiful teenage daughter of one of my best friends tried to take her own life this week, due to depression. She's in hospital now.

f**k. This world, eh?

[paranoid android]

44 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

Just found out that the sweet, intelligent, beautiful teenage daughter of one of my best friends tried to take her own life this week, due to depression. She's in hospital now.

f**k. This world, eh?

f**k, that's horrible, man - fingers crossed that she get's through it, and that she gets the help she needs. 

[gav-ffc]

Last few weeks I’ve been feeling like absolute pish. 

Getting married in a couple of weeks which funnily enough hasn’t been stressful at all, came to a head yesterday big argument with the future wife and then had to head to work. Had some time at work and realised how I’ve been acting has not been right at all, snappy and closed off most of the time.

Been thinking about how I’ve been and know it’s something in my head that’s making me unhappy not a particular thing that’s happened (Dad left when I was 13, now 27) falling out with my mum and not spoke in close to 2 years. My brain is always thinking negatively and always has done. Even at school i always thought I’d be the person who died at school and no one would care. 

Now at 27 I have similar thoughts, tried calling the doctors today to get an appointment and next one is next Tuesday which isn’t great despite saying it was regarding mental health they said I couldn’t even speak to someone over the phone. 

In 2 minds about going back on medication, been on citalopram and fluoxetine in the past with mixed results, fluoxetine made me have some weird dreams at times that would wake me up in the middle of the night sweating but if it’s something physiological then perhaps meds would be for the best.

Going to keep trying for an earlier appointment as another week of this isn’t any good.

Edit to add I’ve removed myself from social media for a few days, no real reason but thought it could help so logged out of Facebook/ messenger/ twitter and Snapchat. 

Edited March 12, 2018 by gav-ffc

[Gravemaster]

Ok...deep breath....and I'll begin.

In a really crap place just now, basically the last few years have had a marriage breakdown, banned from seeing my kids by my ex for three months, a new relationship with an unexpected new arrival (which I was delighted about) then the breakdown of that relationship (shitloads of complications that will take too long for me to get into here). Followed shortly by some disciplinary crap at work, a depression diagnosis and then the loss of my dad to cancer.

Have been medicated (Mirtazapine) and going through self help sessions but just can't seem to get any sort of motivation to deal with things. Have distanced myself from anyone close to me (although I realise how poor a decision that is), cut out the drink but still succumb every week or so although not to any mental excess.

Just had an eviction notice served and really can't see how I can rescue things from here. Just to stress that I'm not suicidal or self harming or the likes but I just feel that I'm at rock bottom. I've done a lot of mental health stuff at work but just can't see how to apply it to myself.

I was relating to a lot of the stuff posted on Saturday night (read the whole site for a long time but never joined) but only just got my registration confirmed today so decided to post where I was, finding it slightly cathartic so I guess some good comes from it.

[The_Kincardine]

7 hours ago, gav-ffc said:

Last few weeks I’ve been feeling like absolute pish. 

Getting married in a couple of weeks which funnily enough hasn’t been stressful at all, came to a head yesterday big argument with the future wife and then had to head to work. Had some time at work and realised how I’ve been acting has not been right at all, snappy and closed off most of the time.

Been thinking about how I’ve been and know it’s something in my head that’s making me unhappy not a particular thing that’s happened (Dad left when I was 13, now 27) falling out with my mum and not spoke in close to 2 years.

Not wanting to be a 30-second psychologist here but you're an intelligent and articulate bloke with deep feelings.  You've probably said more in one post on here than you've ever said either to your future Mrs and certainly to yer maw.

They are two people who love you deeply so I'd suggest you unburden yourself to your Mrs and try and build bridges with yer auld dear.  You can do this whilst waiting to see the Dr.

Talking on here is good.  Talking to people who love you is even better.

[PB 4.2]

4 hours ago, Gravemaster said:

Ok...deep breath....and I'll begin.

In a really crap place just now, basically the last few years have had a marriage breakdown, banned from seeing my kids by my ex for three months, a new relationship with an unexpected new arrival (which I was delighted about) then the breakdown of that relationship (shitloads of complications that will take too long for me to get into here). Followed shortly by some disciplinary crap at work, a depression diagnosis and then the loss of my dad to cancer.

Have been medicated (Mirtazapine) and going through self help sessions but just can't seem to get any sort of motivation to deal with things. Have distanced myself from anyone close to me (although I realise how poor a decision that is), cut out the drink but still succumb every week or so although not to any mental excess.

Just had an eviction notice served and really can't see how I can rescue things from here. Just to stress that I'm not suicidal or self harming or the likes but I just feel that I'm at rock bottom. I've done a lot of mental health stuff at work but just can't see how to apply it to myself.

I was relating to a lot of the stuff posted on Saturday night (read the whole site for a long time but never joined) but only just got my registration confirmed today so decided to post where I was, finding it slightly cathartic so I guess some good comes from it.

You probably are at rock bottom in that you've had some horrible stuff to deal with.   

Start with small achievable goals, like sorting the roof over your head.  A visit to Citizens advice would be advised, they'll be well versed in dealing with evictions, terms of notice and getting you temporarily accommoation.   

Even if your feeling sluggish this really is something that needs sorted long before someone turns to change the locks.  

You've said you found the process of posting cathartic and that's good.   Get yourself an down to CAB and let us know how you get on!  I'll look out for your reply fella. 

[gav-ffc]

9 hours ago, The_Kincardine said:

Not wanting to be a 30-second psychologist here but you're an intelligent and articulate bloke with deep feelings.  You've probably said more in one post on here than you've ever said either to your future Mrs and certainly to yer maw.

They are two people who love you deeply so I'd suggest you unburden yourself to your Mrs and try and build bridges with yer auld dear.  You can do this whilst waiting to see the Dr.

Talking on here is good.  Talking to people who love you is even better.

Mrs is aware of all of this and everything is all good between us. The maw situation is a little more complicated but on the mend to recovery it’s been a while since i felt how I felt so hoping it’s a one off after a visit to the docs.

[capybara]

I am really toiling again. Not enough work. Now looking after my mum full time. I find it hard to live on what I get in. Carers etc.. I was at a funeral today in the same church as my dad's last year. All I could see was him lying there. I went home and hit the bottle. I am getting out to my garden a bit and have built compost bins etc.. but every time something goes well I get a kick in the teeth.

[NJ2]

I am really toiling again. Not enough work. Now looking after my mum full time. I find it hard to live on what I get in. Carers etc.. I was at a funeral today in the same church as my dad's last year. All I could see was him lying there. I went home and hit the bottle. I am getting out to my garden a bit and have built compost bins etc.. but every time something goes well I get a kick in the teeth.

Was always going to be a tough day mate. Nightmare about your mum and it’s impact as well. Hopefully you’ll be able to keep the gardening up though, sounds like a wee something to help clear your head.

[PB 4.2]

On 3/14/2018 at 20:24, capybara said:

I am really toiling again. Not enough work. Now looking after my mum full time. I find it hard to live on what I get in. Carers etc.. I was at a funeral today in the same church as my dad's last year. All I could see was him lying there. I went home and hit the bottle. I am getting out to my garden a bit and have built compost bins etc.. but every time something goes well I get a kick in the teeth.

Serious post mate.   Have you tried Matched betting?    

Loads of folk make risk free hundreds of pounds extra per month.    Could be an easy way to bump your income streams.  

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, PB 4.2 said:

Serious post mate.   Have you tried Matched betting?    

Loads of folk make risk free hundreds of pounds extra per month.    Could be an easy way to bump your income streams.  

Not the place for it PB. I've tried to mildly lighten the mood here on occasion  but it definitely is not appreciated, nor helpful probably.

[PB 4.2]

1 minute ago, welshbairn said:

Not the place for it PB. I've tried to mildly lighten the mood here on occasion  but it definitely is not appreciated, nor helpful probably.

Genuine suggestion fella.   Capy ( a fella REM fan, SNP fanboy)  was talking about lack of work.   I made about £2k from Profit Accumulator in 5 months before getting bored with it.   There's a whole thread on the gambling forum about it.    

Capy will know I'm being serious regardless if its something he choices to look into.   He's a good egg. 

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, PB 4.2 said:

Genuine suggestion fella.   Capy ( a fella REM fan, SNP fanboy)  was talking about lack of work.   I made about £2k from Profit Accumulator in 5 months before getting bored with it.   There's a whole thread on the gambling forum about it.    

Capy will know I'm being serious regardless if its something he choices to look into.   He's a good egg. 

Fair do's, thought you were taking the pish. On the thread it looked like people ran out of ways to make a profit when they ran out out of bookies to get joining bonuses from.

[PB 4.2]

Just now, welshbairn said:

Fair do's, thought you were taking the pish. On the thread it looked like people ran out of ways to make a profit when they ran out out of bookies to get joining bonuses from.

Absolutely.   It's the only thing sensible suggestion I can offer Capy though to raise the extra funds.   https://www.profitaccumulator.co.uk/

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, PB 4.2 said:

Absolutely.   It's the only thing sensible suggestion I can offer Capy though to raise the extra funds.   https://www.profitaccumulator.co.uk/

My only suggestion would be a thing I tried a few months ago, Hermes delivery driving. You need your own car, the insurance is slightly dodgy, all the stopping and starting is bad for your wear and tear on the car and fuel consumption, and the money's pretty shite. On the plus side you don't have to pay tax unless you volunteer and the hours are very flexible so you can fit it in with caring duties. 

https://www.hermesworld.com/en/careers/

P.S. @capybara is very welcome to pm me for further information.

P.P.S. When I sent back the very simple form on the website the local organiser phoned me the next day and we had a brief chat. Started the next day.

Edited March 15, 2018 by welshbairn

[capybara]

Cheers all i am feeling a bit better. I do work as a self employed courier but it is quiet at the moment, i get busier in the summer. But my insurance for my van is over 1k a year. A t the moment the van is off the road ,i cannot afford to waste that amount of cash. I have done a Hermes run in Edinburgh covering for a friend, it was ok but bloody hard going as driving there is murder. 

I have good days and bad days. I will be seeing my doc next week. My garden is my saving grace. i wish it was better weather.