Depression

[Gaz]

Just now, NJ2 said:

Just try and take it easy, Gaz. Are you back in for a full day?

Aye. We've an in-service day. I was meant to be leading part of a workshop for teachers but due to my Dad dying I was off the last week of term and haven't got anything prepared. I'll need to go in on Sunday to try to get something organised.

[NJ2]

Aye. We've an in-service day. I was meant to be leading part of a workshop for teachers but due to my Dad dying I was off the last week of term and haven't got anything prepared. I'll need to go in on Sunday to try to get something organised.

I’m sure everyone will be understanding of the situation mate. Hopefully the thought of it is worse than the reality, which I’m sure it will be. As for the stressing about everything you need to do, don’t. Do what you can, you’re only one man - none of us can do absolutely everything.

[Richey Edwards]

I shall be returning to work on the 30th of January. I feel that I am ready to return now because talking therapy, being good to myself, therapeutic writing and reading alot of good books and staying off social media has enabled me to "reconnect" with who I am and various unpleasant experiences from the past no longer haunt me like they used to. The veil of depression has been lifted.

It will also be good to have my fulltime wage again because sick pay is less than a third of what I usually earn. After six months of sickpay I will feel like a millionaire. 

[engelbert_humperdink]

Good to hear Richiy, keep doing what you're doing 

[YHallSaint]

Struggling right now

[Shotgun]

7 minutes ago, YHallSaint said:

Struggling right now

That's why this thread's here mate. Tell us what's going on. We may not be able to fix it but many of us have found that unloading here can be helpful.

[YHallSaint]

That's why this thread's here mate. Tell us what's going on. We may not be able to fix it but many of us have found that unloading here can be helpful.

Don't know where to start mate feel like I'm at the end of my tether

[paranoid android]

15 minutes ago, YHallSaint said:

 

Don't know where to start mate feel like I'm at the end of my tether

 

Feel free to drop me a PM if you'd like to get it off your chest, mate - there are also some good links in the opening few pages of this thread for people who can help you - as long as you get the help you need, then it's all good. 

[Shotgun]

1 hour ago, YHallSaint said:

 

Don't know where to start mate feel like I'm at the end of my tether

 

That really doesn't sound good. If you aren't up to venting here, is there anyone you can talk to in real life? Even a stranger at the end of a HelpLine might be able to give you some support. Please don't be shy about reaching out.

[Guest]

Glad to have found this thread. 

I'm 21 years old, and have experienced multiple occasions where I have felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness, loneliness and general unhappiness with my life since the age of 17. Quite simply, my life has felt like no life at all. My social anxiety, mixed with financial issues and educational pressures associated with university resulted in me to isolate myself from wider society. At any available opportunity, I would stay in my room all day, and detach myself from all those around me- it would be an achievement to go outside at all. This intense level of isolation ultimately caused further feelings of worthlessness, and my anxiety stopped me from going out or attending any social events, as I felt that I wouldn't fit in.

I have never thought of suicide as a realistic option to put an end to any depressive or anxious thoughts I have. I have, however, experienced a number of occasions whereby I would think, "How would people feel if I were no longer alive?" and find myself thinking about death at an unhealthy level. 

I kept things to myself for a very long time. I made a concerted effort to deny those around me from becoming aware of the  unhealthy perception I have of my life. I had the incorrect viewpoint of believing that the admission of suffering from depression and anxiety would establish a personality trait of weakness, and believed that I would be looked down upon for admitting such problems, as opposed to "getting over it" or  "stopping to feel sorry for myself". 

In September 2017, I  reluctantly made the long overdue decision to open up and talk about my issues, and it has been the best decision I have ever made. At this moment in time, I am currently on a year's break from university which has taken a bit of the weight off my shoulders. My GP referred me to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and I own some self-help books that I have found very useful. Sure, my mind is far from clear, and I still experience multiple episodes of depressive and low feeling, but I know that regular communication regarding my thoughts, and ensuring my days are spent in a productive manner will assist in the recovery process.

I appreciate that my personal issues may appear somewhat minor compared to others, but I encourage anyone who is suffering to let someone know. Whether it is to strangers over the internet on this thread, a family member, a friend or a mental health professional, speaking out about your issues can be a major step forward in the road to recovery. YHallSaint, I really hope you can contact someone. People are out there who can help you.

Edited January 23, 2018 by Guest

[Richey Edwards]

3 hours ago, YHallSaint said:

 

Don't know where to start mate feel like I'm at the end of my tether

 

I don't know you or your circumstances but as other people have said already don't be shy about reaching out for help. 

Feel free to drop me a PM if you want.

If you want to try a helpline here's a couple of numbers:

Samaritans: 116 123

Breathing Space: 0800 83 85 87

You're not alone.

[Richey Edwards]

31 minutes ago, KezzaRover said:

Glad to have found this thread. 

I'm 21 years old, and have experienced multiple occasions where I have felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness, loneliness and general unhappiness with my life since the age of 17. Quite simply, my life has felt like no life at all. My social anxiety, mixed with financial issues and educational pressures associated with university resulted in me to isolate myself from wider society. At any available opportunity, I would stay in my room all day, and detach myself from all those around me- it would be an achievement to go outside at all. This intense level of isolation ultimately caused further feelings of worthlessness, and my anxiety stopped me from going out or attending any social events, as I felt that I wouldn't fit in at all.

I have never thought of suicide as a realistic option to put an end to any depressive or anxious thoughts I have. I have, however, experienced multiple occasions whereby I would think, "How would people feel if I was no longer alive?" and find myself thinking about death at an unhealthy level. 

I kept things to myself for a very long time. I made a concerted effort to deny those around me from becoming aware of the  unhealthy perception I have of my life. I had the incorrect viewpoint of believing that the admission of suffering from depression and anxiety would establish a personality trait of weakness, and believed that I would be looked down upon for admitting such problems, as opposed to "getting over it" or  "stopping feeling sorry for myself". 

In September 2017, I  reluctantly made the long overdue decision to open up and talk about my issues, and it has been the best decision I have ever made. At this moment in time, I am currently on a year's break from university which has taken a bit of the weight off my shoulders. My GP referred me to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and I own some self-help books that I have found very useful. Sure, my mind is far from clear, and I still experience multiple episodes of depressive and low feeling, but I know that regular communication regarding my thoughts, and ensuring my days are spent in a productive manner will assist in the recovery process.

I appreciate that my personal issues may appear somewhat minor compared to others, but I encourage anyone who is suffering to let someone know. Whether it is to strangers over the internet on this thread, a family member, a friend or a mental health professional, speaking out about your issues can be a major step forward in the road to recovery. YHallSaint, I really hope you can contact someone. People are out there who can help you.

I had the same idea that "outing myself" as someone who has a mental illness would result in me being disowned and looked down upon but that has not been the case.

By opening up about traumatic events that occurred in my childhood that I had previously not told anyone about has enabled me to break through the walls I had built up over many years.

It's always worth speaking to someone. My experience is that people are generally more understanding than you might think.

[Jamaldo]

Debating making a doctor's appointment on Monday. I would like an official diagnosis of my issues but don't want to lead the doc into making a diagnosis by naming the conditions to him/her. Been convinced for a long time that I have Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) as I'm constantly paranoid about my appearance and check the mirrors in my flat about twenty times before I leave. I compare my looks to others a lot to make myself feel either better or worse.

As with anything I'm anti-medication so once again I have the fear that I'll be recommended it. I just want talking therapy which I'm still waiting for, and which I'll have to chase up as well.

Things haven't been going that badly lately tbh. Work hasn't been horrible like it was a few months ago. I just get the odd burst of dark thoughts that hang around for a week or so and then all of a sudden I can be fine. Don't know what it is.

[PB 4.2]

6 minutes ago, Jamaldo said:

Debating making a doctor's appointment on Monday. I would like an official diagnosis of my issues but don't want to lead the doc into making a diagnosis by naming the conditions to him/her. Been convinced for a long time that I have Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) as I'm constantly paranoid about my appearance and check the mirrors in my flat about twenty times before I leave. I compare my looks to others a lot to make myself feel either better or worse.

As with anything I'm anti-medication so once again I have the fear that I'll be recommended it. I just want talking therapy which I'm still waiting for, and which I'll have to chase up as well.

Things haven't been going that badly lately tbh. Work hasn't been horrible like it was a few months ago. I just get the odd burst of dark thoughts that hang around for a week or so and then all of a sudden I can be fine. Don't know what it is.

I wish you all the luck in the world with the reminder you're one of the best posters on here ( imo ).  

Can I offer you something that works for me, and has transformed by life and that's restricting carbohydrates down to the bare minimum of less than 30 grams per day and cutting out diet drinks.   

I reach a mental clarity which is lost when involving bread, and other groups proven to f**k up your mental equilibrium.   

PM me anytime Jamaldo.    

[welshbairn]

4 minutes ago, Jamaldo said:

Debating making a doctor's appointment on Monday. I would like an official diagnosis of my issues but don't want to lead the doc into making a diagnosis by naming the conditions to him/her. Been convinced for a long time that I have Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) as I'm constantly paranoid about my appearance and check the mirrors in my flat about twenty times before I leave. I compare my looks to others a lot to make myself feel either better or worse.

As with anything I'm anti-medication so once again I have the fear that I'll be recommended it. I just want talking therapy which I'm still waiting for, and which I'll have to chase up as well.

Things haven't been going that badly lately tbh. Work hasn't been horrible like it was a few months ago. I just get the odd burst of dark thoughts that hang around for a week or so and then all of a sudden I can be fine. Don't know what it is.

From your avatar you look great by the way. As an ignorant person I'd say CBT might be the way to go, but there's probably a huge queue on the NHS. Going private through regulated psychotherapists might not be hugely expensive?

[1320Lichtie]

Was actually considering going to the doctors the other day too for a mental health issue but decided against it.

Spoke to my mum about what was bothering me and it helped so much.

Everything’s going great for me just now and I’m doing really well for myself but I have severe OCD which makes me think obsessive thoughts all the time, negative ones, I always think the worst case scenario over and over in my head and it really gets me down.

I can’t enjoy the good things that happen because I’ve got a lingering doubt in the back of my mind that something bad is going to happen even though the chances are extremely unlikely. I spend ages reassuring myself in my mind and feel good after doing it but about ten minutes later the same thoughts come back. I have periods like this a few times a year but they only last a few weeks to a month at a time.

I’ve always had all the other symptoms of OCD, the cleanliness, the arranging things into order, doing things over and in certain ways etc and tbh I like that side of me a lot it helps me with my work and helps me keep on top of everything but when my minds in a negative state it has the opposite effect. Can’t focus at all because of the obsessive thoughts and it leads to bad headaches and sore stomachs which in turn leads to me feeling terrible. It’s a bad cycle.

Personally for me the only thing that helps is time I know I’ll be ok in a few weeks and that’ll be me for a long spell but I’ve finally learned to talk about it to other people about it and it does help a lot just getting it off your chest.

Worst thing ever mental health problems, you can’t escape from yourself and your thoughts.

[Jamaldo]

I wish you all the luck in the world with the reminder you're one of the best posters on here ( imo ).  

Can I offer you something that works for me, and has transformed by life and that's restricting carbohydrates down to the bare minimum of less than 30 grams per day and cutting out diet drinks.   

I reach a mental clarity which is lost when involving bread, and other groups proven to f**k up your mental equilibrium.   

PM me anytime Jamaldo.    

My diet is very good at the moment PB. Lot of veg and water. I don't drink that much either and indeed have yet to have a drink in 2018. Can always do more though. Cheers for the kind words.

[Jamaldo]

From your avatar you look great by the way. As an ignorant person I'd say CBT might be the way to go, but there's probably a huge queue on the NHS. Going private through regulated psychotherapists might not be hugely expensive?

Couldn't even get on the NHS list it was so long. On the list with a publicly funded one that you can self-refer yourself for. I did this in October though. I don't know if it's normal to wait this long though?

There is a private counsellor I've looked at. £35 a session. I'll pay it if it comes down to it.

[welshbairn]

14 minutes ago, Jamaldo said:

 

Couldn't even get on the NHS list it was so long. On the list with a publicly funded one that you can self-refer yourself for. I did this in October though. I don't know if it's normal to wait this long though?

There is a private counsellor I've looked at. £35 a session. I'll pay it if it comes down to it.

 

Do you get on ok with your GP? He/She might know someone good and not too expensive to refer you to. £35 isn't too bad if you're not committed to a series of sessions if it doesn't work out. Few pints and a kebab really, maybe a taxi.

[Jamaldo]

Do you get on ok with your GP? He/She might know someone good and not too expensive to refer you to. £35 isn't too bad if you're not committed to a series of sessions if it doesn't work out. Few pints and a kebab really, maybe a taxi.

The doctor referred me to the same one I applied for after the NHS became a non-starter. It's the one I want to go to but I'm just fed up waiting.

Theres a free half-hour session for the other one if I want to dip my toe in.