Strange dreams

[BigMartyn86]

I had a dream last night that I was at an all weather race track in Scotland at night but I was in the bookies at the track betting on the last race at Kempton. I put £10 on a 88/1 shot and it won. I was going mental but then couldn't find my betting slip so became furious I went to the counter to try and claim my winnings only to find out that there was a stewards inquiry and the c**t hadn't won. Then I woke up confused as f**k as to what was going on.

[jamamafegan]

Last night I was having a fucking brilliant dream where I had met an extremely fit Latino girl. She was doing exercise and was dressed in a sports bikini kind of thing, she was absolutely smoking. She had just finished explaining to me that she lives in a house at the end of my street and that she was single...and then I woke up. I was fucking gutted [emoji38]

[LondonHMFC]

Had a really odd one last night, and I can't stop thinking about it for some reason. Usually dreams like that are when you knob a horrific bird, and then question yourself all day as to why you were thinking about her.

This one however, I was walking up a country road, and hopped over a fence where my Dad was strimming a field. I noticed a bull close to him, who looked small, but had massive horns. Shouted over to him to be careful, and he just said "remain calm and you will be fine", so I started walking over and this massive fucking pig came out of nowhere and started running at me, again my Dad shouted to remain calm but I was on my toes, I ran out the field (which now had no fence) and down this road. One of those dreams where you just can't run fast enough, I looked behind me and the pig was so close. I tried running diagonally to confuse it, but it caught me and bit my arm. I was shaking my arms all over, to try and get it off, but it wouldn't release it's grip. Eventually I managed to throw my jacket over it's head, and trip it over. It just lay on the ground. I started running back to the field to find my Dad and he was walking down the road with two Fulham programmes in his hand, asking if I wanted to go to the match. 

The alarm then went off, and I woke up in a dazed and confused state. 

[NorthernJambo]

Had a really odd one last night, and I can't stop thinking about it for some reason. Usually dreams like that are when you knob a horrific bird, and then question yourself all day as to why you were thinking about her.
This one however, I was walking up a country road, and hopped over a fence where my Dad was strimming a field. I noticed a bull close to him, who looked small, but had massive horns. Shouted over to him to be careful, and he just said "remain calm and you will be fine", so I started walking over and this massive fucking pig came out of nowhere and started running at me, again my Dad shouted to remain calm but I was on my toes, I ran out the field (which now had no fence) and down this road. One of those dreams where you just can't run fast enough, I looked behind me and the pig was so close. I tried running diagonally to confuse it, but it caught me and bit my arm. I was shaking my arms all over, to try and get it off, but it wouldn't release it's grip. Eventually I managed to throw my jacket over it's head, and trip it over. It just lay on the ground. I started running back to the field to find my Dad and he was walking down the road with two Fulham programmes in his hand, asking if I wanted to go to the match. 
The alarm then went off, and I woke up in a dazed and confused state. 

Really weird, wonder who Fulham were playing? Odd.

(That's a class dream though, I love dreams like that, that are just mental. Wish I could control my dreams)

[Mark Connolly]

3 minutes ago, LondonHMFC said:

Had a really odd one last night, and I can't stop thinking about it for some reason. Usually dreams like that are when you knob a horrific bird, and then question yourself all day as to why you were thinking about her.

This one however, I was walking up a country road, and hopped over a fence where my Dad was strimming a field. I noticed a bull close to him, who looked small, but had massive horns. Shouted over to him to be careful, and he just said "remain calm and you will be fine", so I started walking over and this massive fucking pig came out of nowhere and started running at me, again my Dad shouted to remain calm but I was on my toes, I ran out the field (which now had no fence) and down this road. One of those dreams where you just can't run fast enough, I looked behind me and the pig was so close. I tried running diagonally to confuse it, but it caught me and bit my arm. I was shaking my arms all over, to try and get it off, but it wouldn't release it's grip. Eventually I managed to throw my jacket over it's head, and trip it over. It just lay on the ground. I started running back to the field to find my Dad and he was walking down the road with two Fulham programmes in his hand, asking if I wanted to go to the match. 

The alarm then went off, and I woke up in a dazed and confused state. 

Have you recently murdered a policeman by any chance?

[Blootoon87]

Had a dream that John Hartson drove right into my lane resulting in a head on crash. Not much damage, he admitted it was all his fault and we swapped insurance details. He was wearing a bunnet.

John Hartson - nice guy, shite driver.

 

 

[Shandon Par]

Had a mad dream where St Mirren signed Gavin Reilly and then fancied themselves as title contenders. Must lay off the Stilton before bed.

[D.A.F.C]

Had a dream last night that the Duke of Edinburgh came to my house and I had to look after him. I was raking through the cupboards but could only find monster munch. Eventually I gave him one on a silver platter and he loved it. "My dear boy it's glorious hahahah" Then we went out to asda to buy multipacks and he was buying every crisp in sight.
WTF

[JakeSAFC]

Had a dream last night that a mad demon thing was trying to take control of my body. I kept running away from the freaky looking demon but he kept sneaking up on me and scaring the shit out of me. Then I got tired of running and decided to give the demon a skelping. I burst the demon and expected the thing to kill me, but it smiled and we became pals because he respected me for skelping him. So me and my new demon pal went down the pub and got smashed. Ended up being thrown out and tried getting a bus home, but the driver wouldn't let us on because he was scared of the demon, so we chased the bus down the road and then I woke up.

[nsr]

I used to keep having these dreams where I'd go back to my grandparents' house (who have been dead for 20 years) and find secret rooms I never knew existed, with all sorts of cool stuff in. Or sometimes I'd find a room in my house that I'd forgotten about and hadn't set foot in for about 10 years, filled with all the things I've lost over the years (that probably makes it sound like I live in a weird old mansion rather than the 3 bed semi I currently call home). No idea what any of that means.

[Hedgecutter]

I was swimming in the sea up in on the north coast (Durness) when all these massive breakers were coming in. A surfer told me that I shouldn't swim into the waves as I might end up in the Falklands. I swam into one, only to be projected high into the atmosphere and land in the Falkland Islands, which was located in the Arctic Circle of course. I then hunted around the shops looking for an orange Sainsbury's carrier bag I once left on a previous visit. Fast forward a bit and I ended in in some public baths, forgetting I had a shower cap on which was a bit foosty inside, as pointed out by a former colleague. I have never worn a shower cap btw.

Water-way to live.

[D.A.F.C]

10 hours ago, nsr said:

I used to keep having these dreams where I'd go back to my grandparents' house (who have been dead for 20 years) and find secret rooms I never knew existed, with all sorts of cool stuff in. Or sometimes I'd find a room in my house that I'd forgotten about and hadn't set foot in for about 10 years, filled with all the things I've lost over the years (that probably makes it sound like I live in a weird old mansion rather than the 3 bed semi I currently call home). No idea what any of that means.

I used to have a weird dream like that that there was another annex to a house I had moved into that was completely wrecked like with holes in the roof or ancient furniture. It wasn't a good place to be in for whatever reason. 

[Stellaboz]

I can't recall whole dreams mostly, but two nights ago I survived a nuclear apocalypse in Switzerland and last night I man handled a strange, fierce dog from the home I grew up in trying to get at my own dog. It ended up getting a red card from its owner who was looking for it.

Then I settled down to watch Scotland v Norway, we were one up when I woke up. I think McFadden scored.

[Saint Garf]

I quite often dream about looking for something I've lost, or had as a child, like headphones or an old pair of football boots that I really liked. I'll be searching all through my parents' house and all along the street, asking people. Every now and then there's the occasional "cut away" to a vision of the item I'm looking for lying in a dusty room somewhere surrounded by stoor and cobwebs. 

[Blootoon87]

I was lying on a hotel bed with some quine I used to go to school with (grown up, not school age before the beast chat starts). We strip off but just as we're going to start riding, the door opens and a midget Tommy Cooper, who we are apparently sharing the room with, walks in.

I shoo him out and tell him to give us a minute, get her through to the bathroom and lock the door. We shout through to Tommy that he's fine to go into the bedroom, just put the TV up loud or something.

Just before we start shagging, she suddenly says 'I've figured it out, I've got to tell him!'

Him being old time actor James Stewart who is a detective in this dream. She runs out starkers to tell him, leaving me livid.

Fast forward to the morning and I'm lying naked on a bench beside the roundabout beside the castlegate in Aberdeen.

James Stewart is sitting next to me, fully clothed and in black and white.

My da, brother and a couple of my pals turn up, hungover to f**k. I try and explain what happened to them last night as I'm in a much fitter state than them but they keep talking over me so I flounce out of there.

This is about the fourth dream I've had where due to some circumstance, I don't quite manage to pump this quine.

Seething.

 

 

 

 

[pub car king]

That is fucking brilliant there's something a bit twin peaks about it 

[Hedgecutter]

I dreamt I was on P&B.

This is a new low.

[philpy]

I dreamt I walked into the miners welfare club down the road, and there was a hamburger eating contest ran by the handmade burger co. I filled in the entry forms, ate a load of burgers, and ignored the 30 minute time slot, and kept on scoffing burgers and filled a carrier bag full of them and went home, and two days later I got a letter from a debt collection agency chasing me for £250 quid for the burgers, as I technically didn't take part in the competition, they claimed.

[Glenconner]

51 minutes ago, philpy said:

I dreamt I walked into the miners welfare club down the road, and there was a hamburger eating contest ran by the handmade burger co. I filled in the entry forms, ate a load of burgers, and ignored the 30 minute time slot, and kept on scoffing burgers and filled a carrier bag full of them and went home, and two days later I got a letter from a debt collection agency chasing me for £250 quid for the burgers, as I technically didn't take part in the competition, they claimed.

Miners Welfare?

How quaint.

[capybara]

I'm afraid to say D Trump made it into my deam (nightmare) last night. Not sure what's going on . Might be my meds. But the other night it was Kim what's his name from N Korea. He was ahead of me climbing a ladder , wearing a skirt. And yes I had a look....