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The Alan Partridge Thread


Swampy

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35 minutes ago, Virtual Insanity said:

Guessing Armando Ianucci isn't going to be involved with this unfortunately. 

Doesn't look like it, but Neil and Rob Gibbons are a safe pair of pair of hands.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Tony: Ursula Andress, ok. When I click my fingers, I want you to see me as Ursula Andress. (Clicks fingers)

Alan: Ursula! I’ve always wanted to meet you, I can’t believe it’s you. I like the bikini, very nice. I love all your films, I’ve got all of them. From “Dr No” right through to, all the others.

Tony: Enough of this, Alan. Is there somewhere we can go where we can make mad passionate love?

Alan: Oh, god. Erm, yes. The Moat House hotel in High Wycombe. They know me there, they’re very discreet. You’ll love it, it’s got a twenty-four hour carvery.

Tony: Stop. Alan, when I click my fingers again, we’ll be in your car on the way to High Wycombe. (Clicks fingers)

Alan: Take about fifteen-twenty minutes, that’s all.

Tony: Can we just pull over now and make love in a lay-by? Please, Alan.

Alan: I can’t stop on the motorway. It’s the hard shoulder, it’s illegal.

Tony: But Alan, I’m begging you please.

Alan: Ursula, it’s an offence to stop on the hard shoulder unless there is a malfunction with the car.

Tony: Alan, I’m taking my top off, please.

Alan: Look. If I get caught in flagrante whilst violating the Highway Code, my wife will find out, I’ll get three points on my license, my insurance premium could go up by thirty percent. That’s not going to happen. Now put your top on and get out. Go, go. Get out.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Switched on GOLD after Match of the Day to catch the Forbes McAllister Knowing Me, Knowing You episode. I had forgotten how good it was. 

"Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing you, the police. A-ha!" Warnock

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  • 2 months later...

Alan Partridge - But I imagine you know Spain quite well, what with all your connections?

Terry Norton - Yeah, I've got a villa out there, overlooking the Med. Blinding.

Alan Partridge - Well, you would, just in case.

Terry Norton - Just in case what? 

Alan Partridge - You need to go on holiday...quickly.

 

Gets me every time that bit.

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