rollie Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Seeing regular customers outside of work. It's usually accompanied with an "I didn't recognise you with your clothes on" kind of comment. Never fails to make me feel uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NathanQP Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Seeing regular customers outside of work. It's usually accompanied with an "I didn't recognise you with your clothes on" kind of comment. Never fails to make me feel uncomfortable. Are you a stripper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
port-ton Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Only have one. When you're out with a group of people and only one of them is your friend, and the rest of them including your mate are all friends. They all laugh and joke about all the things they've done in the past, or tell each other private jokes and you're left sitting there not having a clue what is going on or how to join the conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Been there when I was in my teens. Redeemed myself a few years later when I started a song in the packed Horseshoe that had the whole place singing before the Scotland v Belgium game. Nothing worse when it doesn't take off but a great feeling when it does. My contribution:- Asking to speak to the account holder over the phone at my work only to be told that they've just died. "Can I speak to the account holder please?" "Sorry, he died a few days ago." *Starts sobbing* "Oh. Right. That's not so good, is it?!" Im guessing the next bit of your script says "Do you have Sky?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 "Can I speak to the account holder please?" "Sorry, he died a few days ago." *Starts sobbing* "Oh. Right. That's not so good, is it?!" A few days later and I'm still howling at that. It's very much got the "Father Dougal" about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Only have one. When you're out with a group of people and only one of them is your friend, and the rest of them including your mate are all friends. They all laugh and joke about all the things they've done in the past, or tell each other private jokes and you're left sitting there not having a clue what is going on or how to join the conversation. It's even worse when that mate is a lassie that you've just started seeing as you know her mates are all silently judging you. The only thing to do in that situation is shut up or go in all guns blazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo_dee Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 My contribution:- Asking to speak to the account holder over the phone at my work only to be told that they've just died. "Can I speak to the account holder please?" "Sorry, he died a few days ago." *Starts sobbing* "Oh. Right. That's not so good, is it?!" The bit in bold was unintentionally hilarious! On the opposite end of that, my younger brother answered the phone to one of those companies that's always trying to sell you stuff, and when they asked to speak to the home owner, he proceeded to inform them that our Dad had died in a tragic motorway collision with a school bus. I felt bad for the guy that had phoned as he was clearly taken aback. He mumbled a few words before hanging. We stopped receiving these sort of calls for a number of weeks afterwards too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Here's a new one, I'm going to my mum's cousin's 50th in Glasgow. It's just a barbecue thing at her house but I never see anyone on that side of the family, therefore I can't even put names to faces. Also, I'l end up feeling like a c**t about it, but I'm probably going to try everything possible to get inside and watch the football, hopefully my mum's cousin's pal's husband's brother's pal wants to watch the football as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallo Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Only have one. When you're out with a group of people and only one of them is your friend, and the rest of them including your mate are all friends. They all laugh and joke about all the things they've done in the past, or tell each other private jokes and you're left sitting there not having a clue what is going on or how to join the conversation. Going to a party which is for someone you work beside can be terrible for this. The best scenario for that is usually sitting at a wee table in a corner with everyone else you work with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 I'd forgotten how bad this can be. It's even worse when you go in and their own hair is pure shit. Sometimes you find a common ground and it's a doddle, but often the conversation is so laboured and put on it's painful. Guess what I talked to the woman about for a good twenty minutes today? Yep, hair. They always lean on the side of the chair, practically using your arm as a rest for their chebs. This would be fine if they're tidy, but they never are. In fact usually it's a blokes tits invading your space. Golden rule of getting a haircut: when they're standing in front of them cutting your fringe, never look at their face. There's very people I want to have eye contact with from one yard away, and the barber isn't one of them. I go to a barber staffed entirely by Polish women who can hardly speak English, it's tremendous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallo Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 I go to a barber staffed entirely by Polish women who can hardly speak English, it's tremendous. I used to go to one like that, my reasoning was that they were all exceptionally tidy though. After I'd been around 6 or 7 times I realised they were shite at cutting hair so I haven't been back since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 My hairdresser is beautiful. I'd happily speak to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Here's a new one, I'm going to my mum's cousin's 50th in Glasgow. It's just a barbecue thing at her house but I never see anyone on that side of the family, therefore I can't even put names to faces. Also, I'l end up feeling like a c**t about it, but I'm probably going to try everything possible to get inside and watch the football, hopefully my mum's cousin's pal's husband's brother's pal wants to watch the football as well. Turns out the football was on their TV, I got steaming and made a c**t of myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RB-Scotland Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I go to a barber staffed entirely by Polish women who can hardly speak English, it's tremendous. There was a Polish girl working in a cafe I used to go to for lunch, and I couldn't understand a word she said, it was the most awkward thing ever. I was going out with a Polak at the time and obviously here you encounter loads of them, so I don't know what made her so different, but I just couldn't understand a single thing. It was like the scenes in Little Britain with Marjorie Dawes and the Indian woman, with how I kept asking her to repeat herself. I'd try just making myself clear as possible so she didn't have to speak to me, or just giving her a polite nod any time she spoke(before realising I was being asked something I needed to give a specific answer to), none of it was ever any use. Always felt like a twat when, after spending 3 minutes trying to make myself clear before finally completing the order, I'd look over and see people understanding her without any problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 My absolute number one happens in work. I work in a supermarket. We are told to talk to customers, give the usual pish like "Hi how are you" but this goes against my personal view, in a supermarket I'd much rather the cashier said f**k all and served me as quick as they can. Then a customer will hit out with "cheer up" or some shite, I mean f**k off, are you happy looking all the time at your work?! Then there's the customers that are regulars, what sort of conversation do you have past "Alright, how you doing?"? Then it gets awkward for everyone in that situation. Usually it results in some shite jokes being spouted and some usual small talk/waffle. To sum up, customers are c***s. And I do not want to converse with them. You are my hero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Mcgowan Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I find choosing seats in the cinema to be awkward as feck. That or if you've already chosen your seats, hoping that no one comes and sits right next to you. If it's a packed cinema then fair enough but there is nothing more awkward than in a half full cinema, people coming and sitting in the seat right next to you. When choosing seats and there is no empty row so you're forced to sit in a row that there are already people in, what is the acceptable amount of seats in between you and the other people? I'd say 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utdtillidie Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I find choosing seats in the cinema to be awkward as feck. That or if you've already chosen your seats, hoping that no one comes and sits right next to you. If it's a packed cinema then fair enough but there is nothing more awkward than in a half full cinema, people coming and sitting in the seat right next to you. When choosing seats and there is no empty row so you're forced to sit in a row that there are already people in, what is the acceptable amount of seats in between you and the other people? I'd say 3. Take jacket/top with you and put on seat right next to you in cinema. Unless its very busy it'll take a grade B weirdo to ask you to move it so they can sit next to you. Sitting next to an isle helps on so many levels too. Easy access to toilet/foyer and exit at end of film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallo_Madrid Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Take jacket/top with you and put on seat right next to you in cinema. Unless its very busy it'll take a grade B weirdo to ask you to move it so they can sit next to you. Sitting next to an isle helps on so many levels too. Easy access to toilet/foyer and exit at end of film. I bet you do that on buses too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Aldo Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I agree that the worst one is walking behind someone who holds all the doors open for you. I usually respond with a different variation of thanks at each door. "Cheers mate...ta...thanks..." etc. Sometimes I even find myself trying to catch up with them so I can hold the next door open for them. Its as if my brain is saying "they've already held 2 doors open so we'll go a bit faster and get the next one." Fucking annoying but I can't help it. Makes it especially awkward when you catch them up just as they reach said door and they might have to take a wee step back to open it and then I have to do the same. I'm an awkward c**t. For anyone who watches the King of Queens, this is how to react when you can't remember someones name - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp9jsynqRRw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Jesus christ, I thought I was a weird guy until I read through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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