The Falkirk FC Thread

[ShaggerG]

25 minutes ago, Skyline Drifter said:

 

I'm pretty sure you are using a mixed metaphor here. The phrases are "as flat as a pancake" and "as dry as a witch's tit". I've never heard "flat as a witch's tit" before.

The dry simile being because witches are traditionally virgin maidens without child and therefore not producing milk.

Here to help.

 Well, they say that you learn something new every day.

I'll pass this info on to my brother-in-law as it is he who is the metaphor mixer. 

[Harry Kinnear]

We have always said as flat as a witches tit. Never heard as dry as a witches tit. It's maybe an area thing i suppose.

 

If I'm having a drink out a big bottle of juice that's been opened for a wee while I will say to the missus "That juice is as flat as a witches tit."

 

Below is from the urban dictionary

 

Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.

 

Norfolk is a very windy county but that is not surprising -it is flatter than a witch's tit. 

I turned the key but, having left the radio on all night the battery was as flat as a witch's tit.

 

It does appear to come from the fact that witches were considered not to be fertile.

 

One for the Falkirk fans to use

 

The atmosphere at The Falkirk Stadium lately has been as flat as a witches tit [emoji16][emoji106]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[kiddy]

Just found this website on stats Houstons record with us has been won 63, drawn 39 and lost 32

http://www.thesackrace.com/teams/falkirk

Some interesting stats on manager History, mainly Yogi losing almost as many as he won

Manager History

Manager	Start Date - End Date	Record
Peter Houston	12 Jun 2014 - Present	Won: 63, Drawn: 39, Lost: 32
Gary Holt	03 Apr 2013 - 31 May 2014	Won: 25, Drawn: 13, Lost: 15
Alex Smith *	08 Mar 2013 - 03 Apr 2013	Won: 3, Drawn: 0, Lost: 2
Steven Pressley	11 Feb 2010 - 08 Mar 2013	Won: 63, Drawn: 35, Lost: 46
John Hughes	31 Jan 2003 - 31 May 2009	Won: 117, Drawn: 61, Lost: 105
Owen Coyle	31 Jan 2003 - 30 Jun 2003	Won: 12, Drawn: 3, Lost: 4
Ian McCall	06 May 2002 - 30 Jan 2003	Won: 18, Drawn: 9, Lost: 3
Alex Totten	21 Dec 1996 - 01 May 2002	Won: 114, Drawn: 66, Lost: 73
Gerry Collins *	23 Mar 1996 - 20 May 1996	Won: 0, Drawn: 1, Lost: 6
John Lambie	01 Aug 1995 - 19 Mar 1996	Won: 7, Drawn: 5, Lost: 20
Jim Jefferies	01 Aug 1990 - 01 Aug 1995	Won: 93, Drawn: 61, Lost: 77
Billy Lamont	21 Nov 1989 - 12 May 1990	Unknown
Jim Duffy	01 Sep 1988 - 01 Oct 1989	Won: 27, Drawn: 11, Lost: 15

 

Just take into account divisions those managers were operating in.

[Rugster]

2 hours ago, Skyline Drifter said:

 

I'm pretty sure you are using a mixed metaphor here. The phrases are "as flat as a pancake" and "as dry as a witch's tit". I've never heard "flat as a witch's tit" before.

The dry simile being because witches are traditionally virgin maidens without child and therefore not producing milk.

Here to help.

If they weren't producing milk their tits would be flat, hence the expression which is common everywhere other than the borders hence why you have never heard it. 

[qos_75]

Not all witches were flat chested. I believe some of those tried at Salem had an impressive figure.

The same can be said about the last production of Macbeth I attended. One of the three witches  that had been cast had a very impressive figure that the costume stuggled to conceal. Okay, she was not really a witch, but still. 

[Guest]

I've met some witches with huge rounded sookin bags.

[ShaggerG]

48 minutes ago, Rugster said:

If they weren't producing milk their tits would be flat, hence the expression which is common everywhere other than the borders hence why you have never heard it. 

Mmmm, not necessarily. Her indoors isn't producing milk but her tits couldn't be described as 'flat' I wouldn't say. Heading for the carpet certainly but not flat.

[AL-FFC]

2 hours ago, kiddy said:

Just take into account divisions those managers were operating in.

If i remember rightly Billy Lamont was a bit of 1st Div or got us promoted and Prem div where if i mind right did he not resign, Yogi our longest in the top flight and Jeffries a bit between 1st and Prem divisions as well, am not even going to even comment on the Lambie/Collins era, Seeing as it didnt have any stats on Dave Clarke he has the worst record of any Falkirk manager  with 12 wins, 18 draws and 35 losses.

[Anthony Fitzgerald]

I remember when this thread used to be good.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Trump said:

I remember when this thread used to be good.

Like your team?

f**k, nah too far back.

[MrDust]

6 hours ago, Skyline Drifter said:

 

I'm pretty sure you are using a mixed metaphor here. The phrases are "as flat as a pancake" and "as dry as a witch's tit". I've never heard "flat as a witch's tit" before.

The dry simile being because witches are traditionally virgin maidens without child and therefore not producing milk.

Here to help.

I've heard the phrase flatter than a witches tit throughout Scotland, maybe its and English thing to be dry

2 hours ago, AL0011 said:

If i remember rightly Billy Lamont was a bit of 1st Div or got us promoted and Prem div where if i mind right did he not resign, Yogi our longest in the top flight and Jeffries a bit between 1st and Prem divisions as well, am not even going to even comment on the Lambie/Collins era, Seeing as it didnt have any stats on Dave Clarke he has the worst record of any Falkirk manager  with 12 wins, 18 draws and 35 losses.

Lamont resigned, felt he was out of his depth and recommended Dave Clarke to the board, I'm also sure he was part time in the days when we had half a dozen or so full time players. The worst thing he ever did was get rid of Brian Martin because he was so one footed !!!

[Disco Duck]

8 hours ago, brokeville said:

http://www.shieldsgazette.com/sport/football/newcastle-united/in-his-own-words-tim-krul-on-his-mentors-at-newcastle-that-debut-and-what-he-learnt-at-falkirk-and-carlisle-1-8741221

 

7 hours ago, AL0011 said:

Think the one with Schmeichel was better:

http://thesefootballtimes.co/2017/04/04/the-making-of-kasper-schmeichel-fifteen-games-at-falkirk/

 

Both of those make me despair for where we are now.  Frustrating as it was to watch at times, there was a proper youth-plus-experience thing going on.  Now there isn't any philosophy, all pragmatism. Yogi was a dick but at least he was aiming for something beyond survival!

[JinkyBairn]

6 hours ago, Piracy said:

Like your team?

f**k, nah too far back.

Jesus Christ.

[Stellaboz]

Sabrina's two aunts were pretty milfy.

[Guest]

34 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

Sabrina's two aunts were pretty milfy.

Were pretty milky?

Pornhub for this shit.

[Gaz FFC]

10 hours ago, Trump said:

I remember when this thread used to be good.

How old are you.

[Reggie Perrin]

This is grim stuff.

On the verge of looking at One F for the first time in about six months just to see if anyone is talking about football.

[Rugster]

1 minute ago, Reggie Perrin said:

This is grim stuff.

On the verge of looking at One F for the first time in about six months just to see if anyone is talking about football.

Don't be too hasty, there's always sticking pins in your eyes before subjecting yourself to the punishment of One F.

[Believe The Hype]

Dafuq is going on here!! Unless the new inventive way to watch a game at TFS is on a broom then there is no place for the discussion of sooking stations of the occult.

how many games did sibbs and Miller get by the way ? Anyone that was out last week available for selection tomorrow ?

[BountyBairn]

24 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

 

Post something about football then.

I still think we will win the league. Discuss.

 

I'm sure some saints fans said the same at this stage last season. So personally I'll be looking do one step at a time.

We are still a long way away from playing fluidly going forward and still making some basic mistakes at the back.

Still a lot of work to do before we can even consider promotion playoffs IMO. Based on evidence we've made some progress but lots of work still do be done. Maybe some have underestimated how bad we've been but I think we've been terrible this season.