Dindeleux Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Struggle for a kip lastnight did we? You appear to be taking me seriously. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believe The Hype Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 She's definitely getting ploughed off someone else mate. This relationship is over I'm afraid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Remember to shag her just before you dump her or accuse her of cheating or kick her in the pie. Your chances may diminish a bit after. Unless she digs that kind of thing? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 9 minutes ago, HenryHill said: Unless she digs that kind of thing? Oh dear. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Just now, welshbairn said: Oh dear. Yes petal? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 1 minute ago, HenryHill said: Yes petal? Sorry, don't understand a word you're saying, switching from Californian hippy to Yorkshire housewife as you do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Just now, welshbairn said: Sorry, don't understand a word you're saying, switching from Californian hippy to Yorkshire housewife as you do. You referred to me as dear. So i thought we were becoming closer. I guess i may have misread the signals. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 8 minutes ago, HenryHill said: You referred to me as dear. So i thought we were becoming closer. I guess i may have misread the signals. No worries doll. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 (edited) We've recently carried out a bunch of desk moves in our place, and it fell to me to take a wander round this afternoon to do the H&S bit and find out how everyone was settling in in their new locations. One burd: "I'm not keen on sitting here - when people walk past I'm getting a draught..." "Okay - while I'm here anything you're needing?" "Could I get a fan?" Seriously. Edited June 21, 2017 by Hillonearth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 On 20/06/2017 at 17:39, Alex_14 said: I'm looking for a flat at the moment and my girlfriend is absolutely raging that the one me and my future flatmate like (on a bus route to work, close to a supermarket etc) is close to where she'll be staying - about a 10 minute walk. She's genuinely furious and not talking to me because we'll 'be on top of each other.' I'm fucking bemused, she might bump into her other half in the shops - is that even a bad thing?! On 20/06/2017 at 18:33, Bully Wee Villa said: She's cheating on you. Sorry, mate. 15 hours ago, Dindeleux said: She's definitely sleeping with someone else mate. 10 hours ago, Believe The Hype said: She's definitely getting ploughed off someone else mate. This relationship is over I'm afraid. defo all this 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I receive a call from a property that I deal with. Daft bint, How often does the annual service happen? ZA, Once a year. DB, I thought it was, thanks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 I can't wait to go back to Poland for some of that German beer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 Sitting on Seacliff Beach earlier, looking at the Bass Rock (like Ailsa Craig, but better - for the benefit of P&B'ers in the west). We were talking about shipwrecks and discussing the various lighthouses in view. Then she points at the lighthouse on the Bass Rock and asks "is that a church?". This is the view..(not my picture but taken in same spot) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Pies Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 Sitting on Seacliff Beach earlier, looking at the Bass Rock (like Ailsa Craig, but better - for the benefit of P&B'ers in the west). We were talking about shipwrecks and discussing the various lighthouses in view. Then she points at the lighthouse on the Bass Rock and asks "is that a church?". This is the view..(not my picture but taken in same spot) Everyone knows the bass rock is a poor man's ailsa Craig. #fact 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 3 minutes ago, Panda Pies said: Everyone knows the bass rock is a poor man's ailsa Craig. #fact Truth or urban (seaside?) myth I don't know but was on the Waverley as a kid and one of the crew told me the thing had nearly tipped over the previous week as everyone rushed to one side of the boat to watch some seals on Ailsa Craig. Also see submarines and basking sharks near Ailsa Craig, whereas near the Bass Rock it's mainly posh folk on bodyboards. You may have a point. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Nooka Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 On 6/25/2017 at 09:36, Shandon Par said: Truth or urban (seaside?) myth I don't know but was on the Waverley as a kid and one of the crew told me the thing had nearly tipped over the previous week as everyone rushed to one side of the boat to watch some seals on Ailsa Craig. Also see submarines and basking sharks near Ailsa Craig, whereas near the Bass Rock it's mainly posh folk on bodyboards. You may have a point. Don't worry, by the year 3169 there will be no Ailsa Craig as the whole rock will be made into curling stones by then. Bass Rock will have it's day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 45 minutes ago, Tommy Nooka said: Don't worry, by the year 3169 there will be no Ailsa Craig as the whole rock will be made into curling stones by then. Bass Rock will have it's day. It is estimated that in the year 3164 Bass Rock will sink underneath the weight of all the birdshit on it. Ailsa will live on through the curling stones it made and Bass Rock will be a long forgotten guano slick at the mouth of the firth of Forth. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Ok ok I win, close the thread.Our cat killed a mouse last night and the wee thing was lying outside. I noticed it lying there earlier on.Girlfriend came in and said "the cats killed one of those things with the big noses"??I was like yeh a mouse."No no not a mouse, one of those things with the big noses".I knew at this point it would be good. What things?"Those things with the big noses, awww what are they called? Those things that eat ants".An aardvark I pondered (surely not)."Yes!! That's the word I was looking for".I was going to explain life to her at this point but I just nodded and let her carry on. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Ok ok I win, close the thread.Our cat killed a mouse last night and the wee thing was lying outside. I noticed it lying there earlier on.Girlfriend came in and said "the cats killed one of those things with the big noses"??I was like yeh a mouse."No no not a mouse, one of those things with the big noses".I knew at this point it would be good. What things?"Those things with the big noses, awww what are they called? Those things that eat ants".An aardvark I pondered (surely not)."Yes!! That's the word I was looking for".I was going to explain life to her at this point but I just nodded and let her carry on. I thought she was going to say Jonny Hayes for a minute. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 being told "its impossible to overdose on pain killers because they aren't dangerous drugs". My missus is bad for saying "oooohhhhhh you've taken 2 paracetamol only a couple of hours ago now you are taking another 2, you're supposed to wait 4 hours in between, that's bad for you".Which is all well and good if she wasn't partial to taking lines off toilets in nightclubs and in strangers houses. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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