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Living with a Woman


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The only downside I have noticed is nothing is ever where you put it.

In the last week ive lost earphones, two work passes, wooly hat and a bus pass.

Usually turns up neatly put away in some random drawer you didnt know about after she has denied ever laying eyes on the aforementioned objects.

I also have this problem, but compounded by a difference in understanding over what "put away" means.

In my world any item should be where I left it or in its proper place.

In her world, "tidied away" means put into a random drawer/cupboard so that any guest who might unexpectedly turn up can't see it.

The result is that the packet of screws I put down whilst I went to fetch a screwdriver could be anywhere.

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I also have this problem, but compounded by a difference in understanding over what "put away" means.

In my world any item should be where I left it or in its proper place.

In her world, "tidied away" means put into a random drawer/cupboard so that any guest who might unexpectedly turn up can't see it.

The result is that the packet of screws I put down whilst I went to fetch a screwdriver could be anywhere.

Same problem here bro.

It's especially annoying for me because my memory is terrible and I need things left out to act as mind joggers. She's getting better at it though after coming home to find things not done only for me to blame her for putting the screws away in the dining room cabinet.

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Hair. Hair all over the f*cking shop.

And those fucking hair pin things everywhere. Jesus I hated that. Other things I disliked included the ridiculous amount of clothes/shoes they require and the fridge constantly being filled with low-fat versions of things.

Despite the latter, the fat cow still never lost any weight.

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And those fucking hair pin things everywhere. Jesus I hated that. Other things I disliked included the ridiculous amount of clothes/shoes they require and the fridge constantly being filled with low-fat versions of things.

Despite the latter, the fat cow still never lost any weight.

Are you still together?

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And those fucking hair pin things everywhere. Jesus I hated that. Other things I disliked included the ridiculous amount of clothes/shoes they require and the fridge constantly being filled with low-fat versions of things.

Despite the latter, the fat cow still never lost any weight.

I can always tell how your relationship is going because every 6 to 12 months you'll send me a text saying "any flats going?".

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Went out with a lass for a year. Things were rosy until we moved in together. Three months later, I'm in the spare room and have to find a new pad in a hurry.

Moral of this story.

Don't live with me.

Don't know about that, whoever lives with you ends up getting a flat with a spare room. Seems a fair enough deal to me.

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My riule was always to wait until you had seen what she was like

1. When drunk.

2. When angry.

3. When unwell.

Generally, it will be in one of those states that she'll be at her worst and if you can cope with her in all three, it's worth a punt.

However, if all three states occur concurrently, get out of there pronto.

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My riule was always to wait until you had seen what she was like

1. When drunk.

2. When angry.

3. When unwell.

Generally, it will be in one of those states that she'll be at her worst and if you can cope with her in all three, it's worth a punt.

However, if all three states occur concurrently, get out of there pronto.

4. If any bird ever trots out that pishy "if you can't handle me at my worst..." Speech oft seen on Facebook or tells you how much she loves "Audrey" then f**k her off immediately as she's a bawbag.

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I can always tell how your relationship is going because every 6 to 12 months you'll send me a text saying "any flats going?".

It's saved as a template on my phone.

If anything decent pops up in January by the way...

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Mine has just moved back in after a five month split.

Oh what a lovely time I had!

She won't close doors.

No, that's wrong. She will close the door later.

Came home today to find a cat closed in the bedroom, been there 7 hours.

Said cat had shit and peed on the bed.

Second time this has happened in a month.

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Mine has just moved back in after a five month split.

Oh what a lovely time I had!

She won't close doors.

No, that's wrong. She will close the door later.

Came home today to find a cat closed in the bedroom, been there 7 hours.

Said cat had shit and peed on the bed.

Second time this has happened in a month.

My bird won't close doors or turn off lights.

Sounds like your bird might be mental. Maybe get her tested for mental.

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I'll probably 'have' to move in with my girlfriend sometime. She's sound and we rarely /never argue but I just fucking hate people.

I just want to live with Ad Lib forever because he leaves me to get on with being a c**t.

Any funny ad lib flat stories?
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